
Jill - posted on 09/22/2010 ( 42 moms have responded )
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I am now a single mother of a beautiful 3 1/2 months old girl. Her dad and I were gonna; in his words; "work us out." He has yet to even meet his daughter and now that he has been served paternity and child support papers wants nothing to do with her. In fact, he has told me that he intends on signing his rights away so that he no longer will be physically, emotionally or financially responsible for her. However in our state that is not how it works. Signing over your rights in Iowa only negates your responsibilities physically and emotionally so he would still have to be financially responsible for her. I have also learned in the last few weeks that he has had another girlfriend (whom is rumored to be pregnant) while we were suppose to be working on our relationship. I guess my question is; Is it worth fighting with him over him taking care of his child and being in her life?
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Rebecca - posted on 09/22/2010
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my ex-husband pays child support and i use to fight with him all the time to see our kids. It has now been 8 weeks since he has seen or i have heard from him. Its not worth fighting with him the best you can do is be the best parent you can be for her.
Jessica - posted on 10/01/2010
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If you have begun the process through Family Court, I would recommend following through to completion. Simply said, at least you will have official LEGAL documentation clearly stating your rights, his rights, and your daughter's rights. And when your daughter gets older and starts asking questions, at least you can honestly tell her that you did everything that you possibly could. At least resolve the issues of paternity, child support, and custody. If he fails to appear, the court can issue warrants to force compliance. This will be an emotional process for you; I know because I started the process myself when my son (now almost 3 years) was 6 months. Don't think of it as fighting with him to be in her life - the court can decide that for him. Instead, try thinking of fighting for the rights that your daughter deserves. My son's father is obligated to pay 25% of his pay for child support, 50% of my child care expenses, and 100% of my son's medical expenses.
I have sole physical custody. Don't worry about the physical or emotional ties. In time, your daughter will ask questions and see the truth for herself.
Jessica - posted on 09/29/2010
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Jill-I can honestly say no it is not. If he does not want to be involved then he won't. No matter how much you push and beg and wish..it just won't happen. He sounds just like my child's father. He is a low life piece of sh*t. We were together for 6 years on/off; and when we got back together lat summer he promised he had changed. And he did for awhile..but then I got pregnant and he peaced out. He saw her once then ran like a scared little kid. Then I found out he did have TWO other kids. I have tried everything to get involved and he doesn't want to. He much rather party and be an ass than care about our child. And personally now after fighting with him-if he doesn't want to, than I don't want him too. It won't do anything for my daughter by having someone that doesn't want to be there be around.