Child Support and Should I Get Full Custody 2?

Darnisha - posted on 02/08/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Hi my now 4 month old son is surely going to be missing his dad in his life. so i've decided to put child support on him (which is what i should've done from the beginning). I want to get full custody too but i don't know what i need to do to make sure Eli is completely mines...Im mean im not one to keep someone from their child but he doesn't come see him but when he feels like it and he lives literally 3 mins away and he doesn't even have to drive to get to our house he can walk .Im tired and don't want a pop in dad in and out of his life. He is avoiding my son and it crazy because he is beautiful baby who deserves nothing but the best in life that we can give him. He had RSV( a baby cold) for 3 weeks and he saw him once and then when he saw him he said " O he really is sick" and ive never lied to him so why would I lie about my child being sick ( Elijah got it when he went to his house). Even though we aren't together anymore it makes it harder for me to communicate positively with him because he doesn't give me anything good to say about him. When he goes buys diapers and wipes(which is all i ask for) he gets the cheapest kind he sees and in the wrong size even after i just told him what kind and what size to get..... so am i making the right choice by trying to get full custody or should i just get child support and just continue to keep seeing my son because i think it will hurt more when gets older..... What should i do?

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Darnisha - posted on 02/12/2010

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ok i will i just have to research some more and i'll make my decision....thanks for all your help....Anyone else want to give advice it would be more then appreciated.

p.s. anyone from texas could give me a perspective on how it works here?

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Princess - posted on 02/12/2010

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I say get full custody. I have full custody of my son, but the father still has to pay child support. I didn't fight for child support, but it is mandatory in CA. So whenever he decides to hold a legitimate job he gets his child support payment taken out of his check before he gets paid. I don't have to deal with him at all, it is automatic, no matter what state he moves to.

I personally can care less about the child support (it does come in handy when i do get it), what is more important is him having a relationship with his child. But it is his loss and hopefully her realizes that before it is too late.

Zezinha - posted on 02/11/2010

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yes please get full custody ... Don't be silly ... I went for Shared Custody and then we jsut argued and now he is fighting me for Full Custody .............

Stacie - posted on 02/11/2010

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I have one question for you, Is the child support going to be worth it? in my experience the courts #1 concern is "reconnecting the family" so they will do all they can to get dad into the child's life! i went to court when my son was 8 months old. His father calls me 3 days before Fathers day to tell me he lost his job, and to let me know that he is picking up our son for fathers day and taking him alone for the day. I told him HELL NO, he had seen Landyn 4 times prior to this. so i went to court filed the papers and now i have full physical custody and we have 50/50 legal custody so what i interpreted that to mean is, if Landyn is sick i have to call him and let him know basically so he can have a say in medical treatment and what not. So now here we are now 8 months later and nearly 3000 dollars in the hole to back child support that was court ordered. And a man that has the right to call me when ever he wants to say that he wants to come see his son. we haven't seen dad since Jan. 12th and only heard from him 3 times. 2x to inform me of Landyn's sisters birthday plans and once to ask if HE could add our son to His taxes! So I wish that i could go back to June and just ignore the phone call from him. because then i wouldn't have to deal with him and not be missing the money that i should have gotten and now probably never will. In my opinion i say lay low and hope that he just moves on and fades out of the picture. Don't do anything unless he decides to fight you to take your son alone. And then when that happens file for whats called an Exparte hearing and tell them that you fear the father is going to leave with your child when he doesn't even know him. I hope this helps you lets us know what you decide to do.

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I agree with Tyria file for child support ASAP the sooner the better .............It took 2 have a child and it should take 2 to take care of a child financially...........the money will help you in the long run...you cant force a man to be a father if he dont want to be there fully then it's his loss.......your son is better without him...........if he ask about him when he gets aolder tell the truth dont sugar coat it be straight with him............always know that your child is your#1 priority and nobody comes befroe hime..........let your child know that you didnt take him out his life he took himself out.........I wish you the best,,,,,,,,,,,,Be proud of yourself your a good mom..................make sure you have all the papers and if you pay someone to watch him like day care make sure you bring the papers with you.............it would be alot easier if you had his ss#..and already know where he works

Jessica - posted on 02/08/2010

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Child suppor I am sure is nice to have some extra money for the kid....as far as in nebraska....it's a mother state.....the mom has to be proven unfit to not get sole custody of the kid....as I have heard do everything you can do now bc when they are old enough to make the choice...THEY CHOOSE if they want you in their life or not....ur son will learn over time that his father is not around.....I am in the process of fighting for sole custody....my daughter's father and I can't get a long now....I don't want to have to argue over EVERYTHING that we need to make a choice about our daughter on.....I want to make the choices, which her father will have an input but in the end it's my decision.....as a mom....you know what is right and you need to put your children/child first!

Tanya - posted on 02/08/2010

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The way the father of my child and I did it was I have full custodial custody (my son lives with me full time) and we have joint legal custody.. seems to be working out for us, my son is 11. But the only difference between our situations is the father fought for custody rights and he has court ordered visitations that we set up a year at a time with alternating holidays except my sons birthday.. i get that every year regardless. Sure hope everything works out for you!

Brittni - posted on 02/08/2010

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I have 3 children and 2 dead beat fathers to deal with but I do not have neither one on child support due to the fact that money comes in handy when raising a baby but that is not everything a baby needs. I also told both of them that if they cannot help me and be involved with my kids when they are little then dont bother to come when they get older because they will NOT see them. My younger two children I have full custody of and you need to go to the prothonotary (sp) office at your court house and ask them to give you papers for custody. I always believe that I dont need a man to depend on for nothing and that there is nothing a man can do for me that I cant do for myself. If he wants to play daddy than he needs to play daddy full time and when the time comes that you had enough you will realize that its not worth going through all the BS in trying to get him to be a father figure. I have memories of my children's first steps and words and all the other firsts that you will encounter and my children's fathers have none of those memories let alone be able to go back in time to get those memories. I am very proud of doing what I do when it comes to my children I am 25 and have raised my kids for the past going on 9 years by my self and would not change it for nothing. It is their loss not mine and my children realize that they are getting older that I have been the one who has been by their sides for everything. Good luck and it is really not worth wasting your time on somebody like him just focus on you and your baby and everything will work out for the best in the end. If it dont break you it will only make you stronger.

Tyria - posted on 02/08/2010

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The father of my child is the epitomy of a dead beat dad. If there is some communication between u and baby eli's father, then be specific with requests. I definitely URGE you to file child support ASAP, and make your way to file for full custody as well. Most times the court will award partial custody to you and the father to give a chance for the father to be in the life of his child. the only time you will get full custody is if the father doesn't show to the court date, or IF you can prove that the father abuses drugs, you, or is an unfit parent. I was awarded full custody because my princess' father didn't care to show up, and I also filed for the child support injucntion when my baby was 4 days old. do everything you need to do to protect your child. having custody and visitation are two separate things, but in the custody court (from what I was advised by the lawyer) there are two different kinds of custody physical and legal. since the baby is young the judge will award you full physical custody and partial to the father and with legal (which is covers everything except physical custody) both parents will have legal rights to the child...good luck. I hope you make the right decision for you and your child.

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