Custody

Alison - posted on 02/14/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I am so afraid I am going to have to fight for the custody of my daughter with someone who wanted me to kill her. I think he gave up the right to have her the second her offered to pay for my abortion. . .

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Alison - posted on 02/19/2009

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Thank you all so much for your input. I have saved EVERYTHING since the day I found out I was pregnant. Her father has issues with communication and prefers to have conversations over text messages and email so thankfully after I moved back to Minnesota from Colorado I haven't had to speak to him much.
I actually ended up going to employee relations because we work for the same company and he wouldn't stop accusing me of things and contacting me either at work or through my work email.
He has been horrible to me since I told him I wouldn't kill my child and now he is saying that he wants to go for 50/50 custody. That would be extremely unhealthy for her as we live in different states, but I don't think he cares about her at all.

Katie - posted on 02/17/2009

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ok well what you need to do is get signed affidavits for the courts on his behaviour and what he said and did to you during the pregnancy. If he ever abused you or threatened to hurt your unborn child it needs to be written. What I really hate about some fathers going for custody is that sometimes its more about possession than love.

Spider - posted on 02/16/2009

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Alison,



   i agree with all these ladies. Documentation is a must, you can always say something but when you can show time frames it gives more of an impact. Another thing you can do is look at your government agencies for support. I am not sure what state you are in but here in Illinois there are programs to help you with legal matters and counseling for a small fee or even for free depending on your income.

Shorty - posted on 02/16/2009

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yes these girls are right on. one thing i forgot and i actually didn't know til about a month ago is keep all your medical expense records, in Alaska each parent pays 50% so CS Services is going after him on that too.

Keep your head up love,

Tina - posted on 02/16/2009

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think postitive sometimes our fears are realised when we are consumed and in fear, you are the mother of this beautiful baby girl focus on how much you love and where you want your future to go with your daughter the father does not sound like he deserves any of your time stay positive and enjoy her they grow too fast in love and light tina xx

Michelle - posted on 02/15/2009

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Find out the laws in your state. In Minnesota a single mom has full legal and physical custody of the child, but that's not so in every state. As the other mom said keep track of everything.
+phone calls - date, time, and the basic gist of the conversation
+every time he sees her
+every time he takes her out - what was her physical well being before leaving and when returning.
+if he's scheduled to see her and doesn't show
+any form of payment given to you - grocery's, formula, clothes, anything he buys for you (he could claim it was meant for the baby), any take-out, actual cash, anything of monetary value.
+any time he threatens you or her - can be very helpful in the courtroom

Shorty - posted on 02/15/2009

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my only advice to you would be to keep record of everything. keep it organized by month/year, but make sure you keep it in a safe place where your darling child will not find it

~every child support payment, or non-payment

~phone conversations i have a small calendar book by my phone that i keep my notes in, that really helps for the time line situation.

~physical visitation if any



this will help in the long run to show the judges that he was not wanting to be involved. i don't know if he is paying child Support or not but if he is paying throught the Gov they will help keep track of payments for you.

learn what your state laws are about child support, visitation, and custody.



i can't say don't be scared because i know that feeling all to well. but just know that God will help you and keep you strong and safe. and i am here to listen to the venting and hurting. :) please write anytime you need anything

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