dead beat dads

Tabitha - posted on 10/14/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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i have a 4yr old she loves her daddy alot but he stays in jail most of the year in and out i want to stop him from seeing her but i dont wont to hurt my daughter i dont want her mad at me for stopping him coming over,but on the other hand he is hurting her by coming in and out of her life all the time it causes her to act out real bad from being a smart butt to hitting and kicking i wrote a paper out to get him to sign and he wont sign it all it is is saying that he will come and see her every two weeks and not to get in troulble or visitation will be took away i dont have money for court or a lawyer i have a 4 month old he comes around whenever he wants he signed my paper but he wont even buy her a teething toy for a dollar when he does comes over he holds her for a few seconds and hands her back to me because she is cryinh or she spit up on him can anyone give me any advice on these men please thank you so much

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I am 25, single mom of a 16 month old little girl. I am in a very similar position as you are in. 8 days after my daughter was born he ran off. He has a drug problem and is in and out of jail. He was recently out of jail for 2 months and I made the mistake of letting him spend the day with us. The next day he ended up back in jail and he will mostlikely be there for a while. My daughter is young, but she knows whats going on. She asks for daddy, and has started to throw fits. As mothers all we want to do is protect our children and make them happy. I am now in the process of getting her fathers visitation rights taken away. It isnt fair to the child and they do not understand. My father was in and out of my life as he pleased. It was tough for me growing up. I dont want to put my daughter through the same thing. In my opinion and my own life experience I would tell you to protect yourself and your child from the hurt that he is causing from running in and out of her life as he pleases. Being a parent is a full time job, not when it is convenient. I know that it is easier said than done. More than anything, I wanted my baby to have her daddy in her life, but I can only control my actions, not his. so I am going to do whatever it is that i need to do to protect my little girl from the hurt and sadness that she could feel from him coming and going. He wont be allowed to come around anymore.

Lisa - posted on 10/15/2010

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First of all if he will not help with his child financially he should not have visitation rights. Second he is messing with that child's head coming and going whenever he pleases, and that's not good for the child. I know it might be hard at first but I think your child would be much better of with him not seeing her any more.

Deanne - posted on 10/14/2010

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hey im a single mum to 8 month old matilda her dad left and wounldnt even sign birth cert so i think u should do wat is best for ur daughter as i have done as i wanted him in her life but i was over the fighting and i had to put my time and happeness in to my daughter so i think if ur daughter is up set u should look in to u heart and say well do i want her hurting for the rest of her life or hate me for a day or to she will thank u no matter wat when she older

Shelley - posted on 10/14/2010

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Girl, he sounds just like my daughters father too. He shows up when he wants to and then makes excuses for not giving me support for her because i had to take her doctors appointment.

Faye - posted on 10/14/2010

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Beyond them growing up first, I have no advise for you but you do have my sympathies.

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