Dealing with son's spiteful dad & daughter's narcissistic dad

Tina - posted on 09/04/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




My 7 year old son's father (never married) & I have been apart for 6 1/2 years. As far as co-parenting, it's been back & forth. But lately, he has been nothing but spiteful & hateful towards me. Nothing has changed, that I know of.
My 2 year old daughter's father (ex-husband)& I have a great relationship. Better than it ever was when we were together. The only thing, he is very narcissistic, and stuck in his way of thinking. He's not much of a challenge, but still knows how to manipulate me into thinking I'm wrong. I.E: Being in a relationship, and having my kids around my new boyfriend. I'm honestly just looking for some reassurance that Im not the only mama going through it. And that having a boyfriend doesn't make me a bad mother.


Marie - posted on 09/09/2013




Hi Tina:

Sounds like your kids' dads are stressful to deal with. Spite is no fun at all, and a narcissist is always a treat and will show you exactly where you are wrong every time...all the time...even if you're not connected to the situation. The crazy making is something else.

You are not the only one. My kids' father is hateful (though he cheated and refused to quit his gfs, so I had no choice but to divorce) and narcissistic, or something like it. SUPER powers at pushing my buttons.

As for having your children around your new bf, I'm really not one that likes that. Having young children around new boyfriends could mean a lot of changes and losses (potentially) for your children. I prefer that a relationship be six months and getting serious before the children are involved, but that's only my preference. You aren't a bad mother for having the children around your boyfriend. Why does your ex think this is a problem? Is it for the reasons I mention? Just curious. OR is it more of a control thing for him? My guess is the latter, but if it's the former, then take it for what it is. Differences in parenting. If it's a control thing, don't give it another thought: his issue.

Hoping having some support helps.

All the best!

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms