Do I still need to go for custody?

JD - posted on 05/12/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )




I'm not sure if it varies from state to state, but I'm hoping to get some advice anyway. I live in a different state from the father of my 4 mo old daughter. He came to see her when she was born because I paid for most of his expenses and let him stay at my house. We split before I knew I was pregnant and if it weren't for my daughter I wouldn't have anything to do with him. He signed the affidavit of parentage, and he was just served w/ child support papers, but I'm not sure if I should still go for custody. He's not a horrible man (unless you're dating him), but I don't trust him w/ my daughter. When he gets mad he doesn't think logically and I'm afraid (and he's threatened it) he'll take her and run. He has a son w/ someone else that he doesn't use common sense w/ either and I don't want my daughter in harms way. Basically, since he's states away and he signed the affidavit, does that automatically mean I have full custody or do I still have to go to court for it. I don't want him completely out of her life if he's willing to actually try, but I want supervised visits only. What do I do?!


Amanda - posted on 07/16/2011




My kids father signed the affidavit, but we still had to do a custody battle just because he got a girl friend and was putting on a show for her. If he wanted to and any given time, he can come get your daughter, and you have know say in it.

CLARISSA - posted on 05/12/2010




I think an affidavit of parentage is like an acknowlegement of paternity. It does vary by state to state. In Georgia, just becasue a man signs the acknowledgement of paternity, it doesn't give him any kind of rights to the child, i.e. if he trys to take her, he could be lock up for attempted kidnapping. He would have to firt legitimize the child and then file for custody/visitation.

If he does go through the process of trying to get visitation. You may request and get supervised visitation, if there is cause for it, but supervised visitation isn't forever. It's only until he proves he can handle her alone.

Your local legal aid office should be able to help you with any question that you may have.


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Jessica Jadon - posted on 11/10/2014




If I send my child off with some family members of my child father. My child stayed in Wayne county Goldsboro NC with me but I sent my child off for the weekend in September 12 2014 and I have not seen my child in 2 months. But the department of DSS did not remove my child from her home. My child was at my soon to be sister in law and her husband is a cop for the county that we resign in and me and the father got into altercation that leaded him to the hospital and me in jail for 48hours father in the hospital for 48hours and while I was in jail my daughter father family members kidnap the both of them father and daughter hid the father at his sister house in a county that is called Harnett county a place I have never been to neither long have my child father never been there to live the trying to swipe me and the father out of the child life what are some suggestions for my situation I need help desperately it is a lot of fraud going on to about this whole situation some kind of advice and please don't tell me to get a lawyer cause for one this situation should have not went to far

Tina Marie - posted on 08/25/2014




I trusted my ex to take my know six month old child. He know refuses to return her even though I have custody and I haven't seen her in over a month even though he keeps telling me when we are getting a long that he will bring her back and check out my home . I always feel like crying and I have the paper work filled out for the courts and have to bring it in all because even though in the state of MN the mom is custodian until a court hear the cops won't help unless a judge puts his signature on a piece of paper that states the father has to return the child. Please don't be so trusting like I was especially when you have fears. I had fears but ignored them and look where it got me. Go to court and go for the custody before letting that man any where with out you with that child.

Allison - posted on 07/12/2011




don't know your state law but go to court. other states have to honor that court safe now rather than sorry later. and i'm not sure what the affidavit of parentage is, but it sounds like thats just him admitting he is the father which may give him full rights depending on the state. You need to get sole custody

Leeann - posted on 07/10/2011




in the state of virginia the affidavit is not enough for the mom to have sole custody. i dont know about other states but when a child is born here, and the couple is not married no one has custody of the child. my best friend didnt file for custody and when her and baby daddy broke up, he snuck behind her back and filed. it made for a nasty couple of years that left scars on us all.. mom and daughter included. so if you are worried, and it sounds like you should be i would file for full custody. that way you and your child are protected. good luck and i wish only the best for you and your child. i hope i could help.

Rebecca - posted on 05/12/2010




normally in most states if the child is born out of wedlock then the mom has sole custody. even if the dad has to pay child support he can sue for visitation. and custody if he really wants but he would have to prove you an unfit mother and that is hard to do...keep your chin up. in arkansas just because child support is order it does not mean that they get visitation they have to go to court on that differently... and with what you have said you can get supervised visits i did with my youngest daughters dad

Deanna - posted on 05/12/2010




What is an affidavit of parentage? Does that mean he is signing off his rights, or signing to say he is the parent?

I would still file for custody. Unless you have court documentation that shows you have sole legal custody and sole physical custody, he could take your daughter and the police would be in a difficult situation. Unless there is an agreement, there is nothing telling the police that he cannot have your daughter. Sadly, even with children possession is 9/10ths of the law as they say. Just to make sure you and your daughter are safe you should have custody arrangements through the court. If he does not want visitation with your child and does not question it, then you will get custody and things will be clear. If he wants visitation, then you will need to prove why he should not have visitation or why it should only be supervised. In some states you have to pay for the supervised and if he will not pay or if you will not help cover the cost it does not always happen. The fact he is in a different state is also a problem when it comes to visitation. I am not sure how it would work with your child being so young.

See if you can get a free consultation with a lawyer. He or she might be able to steer you in the right direction.

Make sure you document everything.

Good luck!

Chalita - posted on 05/12/2010




I have no idea what an affidavit of percentage is, but I would suggest you ask your local courts. If you have nothing giving you legal custody of your child, it could get real ugly if he decides to go to court for visitation or anything pertaining to your child.

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