Do you think that it is harder to date when you have more than one child??

User - posted on 04/16/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am so afraid to try to start dating since me and the father of my two year old ended our relationship. I found that it was really easy after I divorced from my older children' father. However, I have this constant voice in the back of my head that keeps telling me that having 3 kids is overkill for potential relationships. I am a very successful professional, and I am not looking to have anyone take care of me or my children. I, however, feel as if no one will want to date me!!! Has anyone experienced these types of feelings, and if so how did you overcome them??

Please help!

2 Comments

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Brandi - posted on 04/17/2009

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Hello I felt that way also. I have 3 kids (all Girls). I met a wonderfull man who has never been married AND does NOT have any kids. I honestlly tried to get rid of him. I was thinking who wanted me with all my "bagage". 3 girls. To this day we are still together. It will be 3 yrs in june. My advice to you would be don't look for it. Get yourself together and cherish your children. The Lord above will send you the right man at the right time.

I was in a very very ugly relationship for 12 yrs 3 kids. It will happen!!!!! I got that 2nd chance in life w/ A wonderful man. My kids and I are blessed each and every day. IT WILL HAPPEN.

Jenny - posted on 04/17/2009

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I am also a single mum to 3 children. It's very difficult to find someone who is genuinely interested in having a relationship in those circumstances. You feel pulled in different directions, wanting something for yourself but also wanting to protect yr childrens needs. I have been a single mum for 10 yrs now and have also dated several people in that time. I feel bad if a relationship ends because sometimes the children become attached. I sometimes think it would be easier to wait until they are older and have grown up - but I am not getting any younger and in today's sad climate it would seem that there are so many shallow people out there who do not appreciate the value of having a family and judge women purely on their looks and not what is in their heart. I do not wish to sound too negative. Any person genuinely seeking a relationship should be able to find it. It takes time and effort. You will need to be honest with yourself and any potential partner. I think it's all trial and error there are no easy solutions, just dip your toe in and go gently at first, do not have your expectations too high. Just try to have fun for yourself and don't rush in too quickly. You already are a successful professional and a mother. We all have the right to a successful relationship if we so wish - there are plenty of people out there who would love the chance to date you. You just need to be brave and take the first step, stick to your principles and have fun. I wish you all the luck in the world. x

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