Do you think your child should have his or her dad's last name

Theresa - posted on 11/08/2009 ( 113 moms have responded )

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Some mom's do not care if a child is in their dad's last name. I believe it is their birth right

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April - posted on 11/14/2009

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If the father is actively involved and he agrees... then YES.... but if he isn't there and you can't count on him... then no...

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Nieemah - posted on 11/20/2013

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well my daughter is five now and have my last name. I am now married to her father and expecting our second child and i don't want them to have different names so i hifinated my last name and his last name so I have to change my daughter last name. Its a hasle! so in the end of it all we will be Chavies- Hinton. But I feel if you are going to raise your child as a single parent let the baby have your last name. expecially If you are planning to have more than one child with a different person Its not cool for brother and sisters to have different names its confusing.

Casey - posted on 12/08/2009

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My daughter has my last name, and I am glad. Me and her dad never got married. we have a on-off relationship. But unless i marry him, she will have my name. why should the dads last name be the one used? the women carry the kids for 9 months and give birth! i think it is our right to choose! i guess that is just my feminist side comin out of me. But i guess it just depends on the situation. and every one is different. but i like it this way.

Devin - posted on 12/08/2009

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My son's father left me two weeks after we found out I was pregnant. He's never come to visit, and only pays child support because the state is garnishing his wages. I do not believe it's my child's birthright to have his last name. I gave him my parent's last name so he'd have something worthwhile to live up to. I didn't feel it was right to name him after a flaky, pussy, drug using father who doesn't even care enough to come around.

Sharon - posted on 12/07/2009

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my child has my last name but I left her dad the first time when i was 5 months pregnant. He was there for the birth but with how rocky our relationship was we both decided that if we ever got married we would change her name the same week. He is now with someone else now and married to her and has twins and im glad she has my last name

Darla - posted on 12/07/2009

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Quoting Codi:

in my way of thinking if the mother has custody and the father is fully in the childs life then either hypenate the name or just give him the fathers name... but in my case where the father isnt sure if he wants to be around and is being a ass about it... give your kid your last name... because if ever you travel anywhere outta the province or state or country you need the fathers permission or the father could charge you with kidnapping



i dont know about where you live but in the state of North Dakota, if parents (either mother or father) have never gone to court for custody, its like that law possession is 9/10ths of the law. Since my son's father nor I went to court for custody i was allowed to move to Minnesota without his permission and my son has his last name. He can't do anything about it unless he takes me to court or he gets physical control over my son, and in my situation I never have to worry about it because he doesnt want his son full time that way he still has the freedom to do whatever, whenever he wants.

Codi - posted on 12/07/2009

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in my way of thinking if the mother has custody and the father is fully in the childs life then either hypenate the name or just give him the fathers name... but in my case where the father isnt sure if he wants to be around and is being a ass about it... give your kid your last name... because if ever you travel anywhere outta the province or state or country you need the fathers permission or the father could charge you with kidnapping

Darla - posted on 12/06/2009

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I believe that its up to the parents to discuss. In some situations though, it could go either way. For instance, a single mother who had a one night stand and doesnt know the father, or if the father doesnt want to be a part of the child's life. In that situation I would give the child my last name. My son's situation was a bit different. His father and I had been together for 5 years and when we found out we were having a son his father wanted to name him Michael after his best friend that passed away. I refused to give Michael my last name because its Myers and I figured when he gets older and starts school, that child are cruel enough without giving them something else to make fun of him for. So I guess it would be your choice.

Kaylee - posted on 12/06/2009

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My kids both have my last name. When the father of the children and i were together i knew that i would give them my last name, because we weren't married. We were in a serious relationship before the pregnancy of my twins, and we broke up 7 weeks before the birth of them. He has never seen them or wanted anything to do with them. Which is fine by me. Now there is no tie between him and my babies!! If we were to last longer and gotten married, i knew that they were his so it would have been no problem to get there last names changed to his.

Melissa - posted on 12/06/2009

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I think its a personal choice...really.

Although I did give my daughter my last name as, He (the father) was sellective in my//our daughters life, In saying s I'm glad I did, he hasn't seen her for a year.

Genoveva (chuy) - posted on 12/06/2009

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No I didn't put her his last name because I belived they (fathers) have to earn it. My dougther doesn't want his last name she always knew that she was not using her dad last name because we never marry, I always told her that was the reason I didn't put his last name because we were not marry and if one day we will we (her and I ) will use it. it turn out he just walk out of us two years ago and she is very happy to be Morales to her it meands honesty and true while Cruz (her fathers last name) is lies and desiveds. sad but true.

Autumn - posted on 12/02/2009

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Well I hypherated my sons last name it goes my last name then his fathers last name. It was the biggest mistake of my life I wish I would have just given him my last name. If your married give your child his last name if your not give your child your last name.

Rebecca - posted on 12/02/2009

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My son has my last name. It was the father's choice to give him my last name. He was in and out of my life during my pregnancy and he didnt know for sure if he wanted to stay with me. We decided that if we were to get married, then we would change his last name. I'm glad we made this decision because we are not together anymore and it'll make things easier.

[deleted account]

I kept my surname after marriage and both my sons got my surname (with their father's support) with their father's surname as a middle name. Now that we're separated I kind of think that it was always meant to be this way.

Karissa - posted on 12/01/2009

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i do not believe that the man should have that right if he is not going to be in the child's life. but if you believe that your baby sould have his name why not put both your names together by hyphenating the two.

RAHIM - posted on 12/01/2009

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MY MOM TOLD ME IF YOUR NOT MARRIED TO HIM THAT THE CHILD IS NOT TO HAVE HIS LAST NAME

Tia - posted on 12/01/2009

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My son has my last name. His dad hasn't done anything for me since the day I told him I was pregnant. He doesn't deserve to have the same last name as my son.

Tanya - posted on 12/01/2009

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When my son was born, it was the hospital's policy that if the parents weren't married that the child got the mothers last name. If you wanted to change it later it was no big deal, just a signing of a piece of paper. It's quite an ordeal from what I hear to change the name from the father to the mothers.. hope this helps!

Anna - posted on 11/29/2009

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My son has my last name, i chose to have my child knowing that the father hwould not be around to the Dad thing although i am lucky that we get on very well and he did get to meet his son for the first time a couple of days ago. My son's father will still not be on the scene as he has his own family, but we stay in touch and i do believe that he would do what every he could to help me or his son. I didn't want my son to grow up with a different name to me and i'm very proud that he has my name. I believe that every situation is different and no one should be judged on what they decide is right for them and their circumstances.

Stephanie - posted on 11/29/2009

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With both of my kids i gave them my last name!!! I was very young when i had them n i knew i wasnt gettin married to either of the guys so it makes it alot easier when ur kids have ur last name instead of some dead beat sperm donors who doesnt even care about them!!

Sharva - posted on 11/28/2009

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My daughter's dad wanted me to give our daughter his last name, but he wasn't there for me when I was pregnant. I figured that he wouldn't be there for her either so I gave her my last name. I was right, so I'm happy with my decision.

Veronica - posted on 11/28/2009

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dont do it. give the baby your last name. the guy will just leave or turn into an a-hole and u will be stuck with a baby that has a different last name than you. i named my baby after his dad.. we r not together and i hate it cuz the doctors always call me ms. lawrence. i dont bother correcting them anymore.... the baby should have ur last name

Elizabeth - posted on 11/28/2009

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Hyphernate. My daughter has her Dad's surname. It has caused big problems, she identifies with me and wants my surname, but as the court had already taken parental responsibility from her father they did not want to change the surname

Toni - posted on 11/28/2009

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hi theresa when i was pregnant with my second son my relationship had fallen apart and i wasn't sure whether we would get back together or if he was gonna play a roll in his sons life at all, his dads surname is ryan so i used it as a middle name and gave him my surname. however the argument about surnames and knowing the father, here in the uk as long as the father is present when you register the birth they will be named father on the certificate

Johanna - posted on 11/27/2009

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I gave my son both his father's last name and mine but mine is last and non hyphenated so he can use both or just mine but it'll be his choice when he's older.

LaShea - posted on 11/27/2009

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I think that should be up to you and your babys father. I was going to give my son his fathers last name but he did not want him to have it.

Natasha - posted on 11/27/2009

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Use both.. don't think you should deny who and where the child came from no matter how you now feel about the father.

Miranda - posted on 11/27/2009

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My son has my last name. His father is a drunk and a piece of crap. He wasnt there for me while I was pregnant or when I gave bith to our son. He is not really around now. I only see him when he shows up at my door drunk as can be screaming about seeing his son. Im glad my son has my name. I would rather him have my family name and use my dad as a role model than be plauged by his drunken fathers name for the rest of his life.

Marcia - posted on 11/27/2009

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Hmm, it's a tricky one aye. I was married to my sons father, but since we seperated - 2 years ago - he hasn't seen him at all. We get no support from him, and I'm fine with that. It keeps things simple, no contact, no expectations. He lives at the other end of the country. So, my son has his fathers name, I reverted to my maiden name. My son is legally called by his fathers name, but if you ask him what his name is, he will use mine. This is a choice he made after hearing the kids in my class use my last name. At this stage we have a / between the names, which identifies that one is his legal name but he identifies with the other. There is no way his father will let me change his name. So thats how we'll keep it I suppose

Stephanie - posted on 11/25/2009

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My daughters father didn't help me at all during my pregnancy and I didn't know what kind of father he was going to turn out to be so I insisted she have my name. He disliked it and we fought all the time but when he didn't show up for her delivery I gave her my name and I am very happy with it. He isn't around now and if he doesn't see her when she gets older we won't have to talk about why her and I have diff last names.

Jessica - posted on 11/25/2009

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I changed my son's last name back to my last name. His father and i were married and the marrage ended shortly after we wed. It was obvious he was not planning on being apart of his life but i still gave my son his last name. He was not around very much for the pregnancey and was not there at the time of birth, yet i still gave him his last name, for hopes things would work out in the long run. I soon came to understand what it ment to hold his last name. 7 months after he was born i changed his last name back to mine with no problems from him, the judge said if he couldn't make time to be at court for his own son then obviously it is not important enough for him to carrie on his last name. So the judge changed, I am happy & my son is happy. I am a single mother and have been for the past 4 years of my sons life.
It is a priviage to hold the last name of your father, to keep the family legacy going, to bring honor to the name, so who want to hold the last name of a dead beat??!! I would not let my son feel that kind of shame.

Christian - posted on 11/25/2009

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My daughter has my last name. I was pretty sure her father and I were never going to get married, but we are still friends today. I just happen to think my last name is cooler than his :)

Christina - posted on 11/21/2009

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my kids have their dads last name cuz i figured if i ever got married mine would change then the child wouldnt have either.

Amba - posted on 11/21/2009

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wow ther are alot of responces to that question. I originally gave my daughter her fathers last name as i never liked my last name growing up its acually pummeroy so i thought byrne would be easyer for her, but after being called mrs byrne so many times it get tiring especially when i am not nor was i ever mrs byrne. i was able to get her father to agree to change her last name as we were trvelling overseas and i told him i wanted her to have the same name so they knew without a doubt we were together in case we got seperated or anything so her passport has pummeroy-byrne. she likes having both names and i think t will make it easier fr her when she is older to choose and be able and legal to use either.

best of luck to you and everyone else trying to make this hard and enduring decision

Deedra - posted on 11/21/2009

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yes i do if your not married to these men and your child doesn't have there last name you have to deal with the family members and some can be really mean after the person is dies.

Amie - posted on 11/20/2009

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Quoting Katherine:

I named her with her fathers last name- then we broke up 3 months after she was born. He doesn't see her really or pay support. I would like to get married some day and have my future hubby adopt her- but he'll never let me change her name.. I just know it. He isn't anything to her. I wish I had never done that. My advice is- don't do it unless you are married and they are going to raise your child.


I know what you mean. Unfortunately, in order for someone to adopt your child, one or two parents needs to sign over legal rights. Unless it is different in different states. If that's the case, then it does not matter if your ex will not let you change your child's last name. If you are getting married and you are taking on your new husbands last name, your child should also be able to receive that name (with or without actually having to pay for your child's name change).

Angela - posted on 11/20/2009

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it doesnt really matter which name it has. my son has my last name i feel though that was better for my son though. as me and his dad aren't together anymore.

Cassie - posted on 11/16/2009

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I'm in the same situtation. My sons dad is still mad 13 months later about it. But we are a convenince factor and he doesnt always want to be there. I'm happy and completely fine with my decision!!

Cassie - posted on 11/16/2009

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Yeah, if he signed the birth certificate you have to have him sign it saying he agrees to change their last name. :(

Cassie - posted on 11/16/2009

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My son has my last name. I did this for a number of reasons; we broke up 2 weeks before I found out i was pregnant. He wanted nothing to do with me or the baby in the beginning of the pregnancy. He wanted me to get an abortion and his mom wanted me to give the baby up for adoption. He was too embarassed to tell anyone, so his family didnt know until the night I had the baby. He's been there but when theres a night that he decides he wants to go out, we really dont matter to him.. it's almost like were a convenince factor. Since we wernt together, I knew someday I would want to get married and I knew he would never consent to me having my future husband adopt my son so I decided that it would be best for Brandon to have my last name.. that way I could hyphenate my last name if I choose to do so. Basically, I chose to keep my son and he wanted nothing to do with him. I'm completely happy with my decision. I dont know when I will get marriedd so I thought it would be easier when my son went to school and wouldnt be confsued why he and his mom had different last names.. As i said, I'm happy with my decision and wouldnt change it for anything.

Adrienne - posted on 11/16/2009

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I hyphenated my son's last name with my name first then his fathers. Usually when people hyphenate a name they go by their first last name. In my opinion if the parents were not married and the child is with the mother primarily then they should have the mother's last name. A divorce, however, is a whole 'nother story!

Kyra - posted on 11/15/2009

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Hi Theresa,

Well for me the choice was simple I gave my daughter her fathers last name simply because he's her dad. He doesn't deny her but he hasn't done anything for her thus far and she's 6 months old. I think it makes taking him to child support court a little easier since she already has his name but, it's really, truly up to the individual.

Julianna - posted on 11/15/2009

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If you are not married I would give the baby your last name. I did. I oldest daughter had my last name until she got married. The younger daughter's last name was changed after I made the mistake of marrying her dad.

Kim - posted on 11/15/2009

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I gave both of my children my last name because I was not married to their father. And their father terminated parental rights. It is easier with school, medical, etc. Their father is listed on their birth certificate but that is it.

Rebecca - posted on 11/15/2009

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i gave my 4 month old son his so call fathers last name too..BIG mistake that was as he doesnt bother comng too see him but takes me thru courts for access when he really cant be bothered seeing him, only reason he is cuase he mum has told him too so his maintance will go down when he gets him overnight

Chereece - posted on 11/14/2009

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Since my daugthers father and I arent together most of the time. Also he doesnt seem to care that she needs her dad. Im glad i gave her my last name. I dont care what he thinks now since he feels she should have his name which is crap since hes never there.

Michelle - posted on 11/14/2009

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I have always believed strongly that the child should always have their fathers name. When my son was born I ended up giving him my name because I was only 99% sure who is father was and I did no want to give him the wrong last name since there was that 1% chance. I was talking about changing his last name to his fathers BUT his dad doesn't claim him and tells everyone that Dariyen is not his it is the other guys ((even though we had a paternity test and he pays child support) Also now his family wants nothing to do with my son for I don't know what reason. So I am just going to keep him with my last name and it would be his choice when he is older if he wants his fathers last name even though I know that in the future his father would not want anything to do with him still.

Laura - posted on 11/14/2009

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If you already gave you children His last name do you have to get his permission to change it if you have full custody

Desiree - posted on 11/13/2009

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Both of my kids have my last name, he wasn't there for me while I was pregnant and then last year he all of the sudden wanted to be a family and that is how we ended up with the second one and then he decided he wanted someone else and again wasn't there isn't there and has not ever supported either one of then through child support or even buying them anything. I gave them my last name because I don't want him to have a right to them. I have a legal will that prevents him from getting them if something ever happens to me. He is a lowlife that I made the mistake of being with but I am not going to let him ruin my childrens lives.

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