Ex is making it very hard to be civil

Cecilia - posted on 01/20/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Ok first the back story. My son is now 15. I left his father when he was 6 months old due to abuse. One fight he knocked over my sons basinett with him in it. I got up right then took my son and left. Never turned back. Never even bothered with child support, because that meant he could find me.

Fast foward to now- Ex did find me on facebook asking for a divorce since he wants to remarry. i informed him i already tried and there is no marriage certificate on file, thus no divorce is needed (the state we were in doesn't allow common law marriage) Then he asks about his son. I give him my number and allow him to call. He called once a year ago. Then I asked him to call for son's birthday. He did. He told my son he would call every weekend. He hasn't been.

So today i get this message on facebook.==Hey I didn't want to say this before because my wife and I wanted to make sure that communication between us for our sons sake was ok. I want to be honest and say that I don't want any negatitive stuff being said about my family except dad who's a douche. Ta been there for us for years and Wanzetta has too. Were a grown family and happy. Not kids anymore and its been over 15yrs. Tell will to hit me on the weekends but I don't want to have to go thru u all the time.

so my responce was==I'll say it this way, i don't say anything to anyone about anyone in your family. Positive or negative. (not even your dad) As i told you, Will doesn't even know why i left. I never said anything. It was my way. Not sure why you said it. Feel free to explain.
As far as asking Will to call you... I think you should take the initiative and call him. It's not like you have to have a convo with me if i answer. It is your responsibility to build a relationship with him, not the other way around. If you wait for a teenager to find you to talk, you'll never see them. I know you would have no way of knowing this, so i'm just letting you know. If you want to know what is going on in their life, you need to ask, they won't just tell you.


so he says === My wife and I are all sitting in the car with Ta; her husband and all their kids just enjoying each others company and talking about Will. My wife voiced concerns that we all agree about which is where the comment is from.

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Ok so he's being a drama queen. Here's what it says in short form- hey we were all sitting around talking about you and we wanted to tell you "don't talk about us." He keeps going on how it's so important to stick up for your family and such yet never does he mention calling again...

I'm trying so hard to be civil for my son's sake although i know this man is the scum of the earth and so is his family (his father even shot a gun at me while i was pregnant.) Seriously though. I'm wanting to just block him and his drama from my facebook. It's not even like he's being a father of any sort.

Anyone know how to deal with wanting to punch someone in the face and standing there so calm instead?

2 Comments

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Ashli - posted on 01/21/2013

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I'm actually going through something similar. I am 7 mo pregnant and my ex doesn't want to go to any of the appoinments, because he said he got burned out on going to them with his exwife. well than shouldn't have gotten me pregnant. in my eyes you can't choose when you want to be a father, that is not how that works..... So I give up trying with him, He will get a text telling him his son his born, other than that i could care less what happens to him.

Stacey - posted on 01/20/2013

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I've had to keep from straight out decking my ex multiple times. I would send one final message saying simply: if you want to try to build a relationship with your son, you have the number where he can be reached. After you send that block him and anyone else who may contact you on his behalf. He sounds like complete scum and its good you got out of a bad situation when it got to a bad point like that. I was verbally abused and I left when it was starting to become physical. It's hard and takes a lot of courage. Good luck and I hope you find peace again soon :)

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