father hasnt paid child support for over 3 months and counting

Amie - posted on 10/15/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I was supposed to have received some child support finally i got a letter about a month ago saying id recieve 55.46$ but im still waiting and the father just informed me he is jobles once again. Still nothing in the mail, if the father keeps going job to job shouldnt he get in trouble if i never recieve child support? Its getting ridiculous. I still let the father see our almost 2 year old who btw hates going, he cries hystrically kicking and screaming i hate it and he only goes for 5 hours once or twice a week, so i just dont get it. Seems the father doesnt care and since hes jobless again now he doesnt see his son or call about him, yea im sure hes looking for jobs hes a deadbeat and im a young mom who needs help in providing and protectig my baby boy. any advice on what i can do?

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Kristin - posted on 10/16/2012

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You need to get a child support order in place and even that will not guarantee he will pay. Unfortunately like it or hate it there is not much you can do if they dont pay. My childs father has not paid in years and is 40,000.00 in arrears. i dont count on it so I just live within my means and provide for my child the best I could and whatever money does come in just goes to him for his college fund. Deadbeat dads are all around and the only one your child can count on is you. If the child is having issues going with his dad than request supervised visits as it will be in the best interest of the child. Two is young as well and he may be feeling separation anxiety from you if that is the only time he is separated from you. But if you are concerned maybe go with to see how baby daddy takes care of him. Best of luck

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Amie - posted on 11/14/2012

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I have always worked and I worked all my pregnancy, literally I worked up until my baby boy popped out, I wasnt even able to work my last day of work cause that's when I had my son. I am a hard worker and I knew somehow the father wasnt going to be much help and I still have that money I saved up from working that I use today for my bills. Luckily I have my fiance, otherwise I dont think I could pay for diapers and such. I quit my job to raise my son the right way, the way I think every child deserves. At least one parent who will be there for them, to teach them, to show them the right way, etc. I never thought I'd have to be the only parent who cares though. I still have no recieved a dime from the father who continues to only take our child on sundays where I'm sure he drops my son off with his family. I can only assume that since my son seems to really not like seeing his father pull up in my driveway, my son cries as soon as he seems him, it really saddens me. I wish my son never went with his father.



I dont understand why no one can do anything about a deadbeat parent, I sadly have to use food stamps so me and my son can survive and not live off other people. I will work a job next year and start providing more for my son. I am just glad that the father does not have control over what I do with my son, I will make sure it stays that way too. Just wish somehow the states would punish the fathers who leave the mothers to do it all cause these guys are lazy and honestly I dont think they want to be parents.

Lauren - posted on 11/08/2012

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ive gone thro the same thing my ex didnt pay for almost 4 years. and only did becosue he and his gf had a baby and thay can get child tax if he didnt pay it. sadly you just need to keep pluging on with the courts and FMEP . what i found was best is asume this money will never come and you will be able to make things work and wen that money does show it will be a nice suprise . keep strong mama and you can make it work

Kristin - posted on 10/16/2012

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Amie,

Yes it is sad. I have never had to get financial aid so I dont know what that must be like. I was lucky enough to have completed my college education and work full time while raising my son. it is not east being a single parent thats for sure but your children are worth it and in the end the deadbeat parent is the one to lose out.

Cia - posted on 10/16/2012

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Well it takes a lot more drama to get them to make their lives so uncomfortable that they capitulate. I could not subscribe for assistance.( I would not have not guilt because I assure you I paid enough taxes in the past) I would advocate taking a photo of your child right before child leaves timed to show date, Ideally with as little clothes possible and another photo upon receipt of child. Diary entry submissions of the hand off so you are empowered to pivot should you need to. In filing for custody you get the opportunity to articulate concerns but documentation is needed and a together package to support your request. In my case the person did not try to see child or meaningfully articulate a desire until the child was 5 ish even then the person chose not to when I needed to stipulate locations with a relative present. However the person is not in the same vicinity where I live and I am not about to spend that much additional money to go to the mountain when Mohammend can not pay for diapers ( proverbial Mohammend) but the person can pay to see a concert with a big time popular performance artist. Priorities... Stay sane navigate carefully and pray.

Amie - posted on 10/16/2012

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I now see why our government is poor, mothers have to turn to public aid services cause no one cares to go after these deadbeat dads leaving the mother to become a fulltime parent.

Amie - posted on 10/16/2012

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I never speak of the father til he takes my baby and i see how much he doesnt want to go, im guessing the fsther shows no love for our baby he calls him dude and hes just a baby. Father never cares to call and see how we r doing or if im providing for our son alright since he is not. Going on 4 months and no child support can i just gk to court house and tell someone. They never gave me any number to call if there was ever an issue. Courts dont care what the mother has to say or bout the childs well being or they would of setup this whole thing better.

Cia - posted on 10/15/2012

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Get assessment on child's mental health

document

video tape

never speak negative in front of child about father

Cs support is not connected to visitation

However you can request supervised visitation

If he is not trying to pay

it is not going to happen w/o court action

Its better to tune out and work very slowly through the court

Get all the assistance you can because he will have to reimburse the state for what it extend trying to assist you- I believe- it may depend on the state

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