Fathers that have died? x

Michelle - posted on 01/28/2009 ( 24 moms have responded )

10

6

0

i recently lost my patner (my daughters dad) in a car accident,anyone in the same postion? x

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Michelle - posted on 02/02/2009

10

6

0

hi everone,yes i do alot of friend and family support which im very gratefull for. its great to talk to people who hav been in the same situation. have you joined the group speacialy for 'mothers with children whos fathers have deceased?'-i hate that word,sounds so formal! the group is really good coz everyone on there is chattin bout the same thing. xx



 

24 Comments

View replies by

Betty - posted on 02/20/2009

23

4

0

Quoting Claire:



i tell him his gone to the angels but he comes out with why?wen i say he wasnt well he says things like why didnt he go to the doctors,the angels are magic why cnt they open his mouth and take the ill stiff out i miss my daddy,his only four but he has an answer to everything his so smart. and its hard i mean how can i tell a four year old he took illegal drugs and overdosed!





From time to time, my 4 yr old keeps asking for his daddy to come back. I just keep reiterating that daddy can't come back because if he does, he will be in pain again. He will also say he misses his dad and then I'll say that I miss him too and that daddy is better off where he is right now because he is free from pain. This explanation seems to help him understand why daddy can't come back even though I know it won't be the last time my son will ask about his dad.

Felicia - posted on 02/20/2009

4

1

1

Hailey says Daddy's sleeping with Jesus now.  I love it.  Sometimes she pretends to talk on the phone to Dad,  I try every day to mention him to her.  She will be 3 in May and Quentin has been gone for eight months now.  My mother in law has been the greatest help, she lost her husband to cancer in 2000.  she understands the hardship, I wish there is more I could do for her, losing her husband and her son to cancer, that sucks!  Being a widow at 28, I feel old.  But at the same time I feel lucky.  We have this part of our lives that not very people get to have.  We have loved the man of our dreams and had them torn from us.  We are so much stronger.  Many people never go through anything like this, and they will live their whole lives never getting the chance to grow, to love and understand loss.  God puts this tests before us, I think to make us better people.  I know that I am a better person now, having gone through this.

Katie - posted on 02/20/2009

2

2

1

I lost my husband to a heart attack almost 2 yrs ago. I have 7 children to raise alone and it is hard. We had only lived in our new home together for 6 weeks. My dream of growing old there together was shattered. My two youngest are 3 now and they are asking about their dad. They say they miss him, but they dont even remember him.

Cristina - posted on 02/19/2009

19

31

2

its very healthy to talk about something that happened suddenly and so recent . People feel reluctant to talk about things surrounding the subject but I feel a great release when I talk about it and its something that on my mind all the time. they say time heals things but I feel like it will never go away  I just dont let it way me down. alot of poeple think I should go see a shrink but they dont really understand the jist of things. I was 23 when he passed away and he was 27 it happened while on a family vacation he drowned and I I saw it all happen along with my son but I look to the future with hope.

Tracy - posted on 02/19/2009

14

12

1

Hi everyone, I think we all have simular feelings over losing our loved one. My daughter has been at a great loss since he passed and she talks about him all the time. For us its only been 7 months.

Cristina - posted on 02/19/2009

19

31

2

It has only been 2 and a half years for me and I have a great boyfriend now that helps thing and I have my good and bad days. I am so sorry for your loss.How did he pass

Rachel - posted on 02/19/2009

3

15

0

Hello



I'm sorry for your loss!!  I lost my husband two years and two months ago.  Our daughter was 5 months old at the time of the car accident.  It was very very hard at first and still is sometimes.  But, as time has gone on I have been able to have new relationships and that helps the pain a little. 



How old are your girls?

Cristina - posted on 02/19/2009

19

31

2

I have a son whos 4 years old now but his dad died when he was 2 and my inlaws invited me to live with them knowing I shouldnt be left alone. I have been thru hell an back and moved in and out of my moms place she helps out with my son but often makes me feel like I am burdening her. Its tough living at home because I have a way of parenting that differs from my moms and she seems to think she was the worlds greatest mom  while I was growing up and she just doesnt back me up when im trying to dicipline my son which makes it tougher to be able to deal with my son. I didnt chose to be a single mom and I carry around so much guilt I am going to school and working and trying to be the best mom possible so I look forward to connecting with you guys I am a 26 year old widow  I am in a longterm relationship with my boyfriend and he always back me up and agrees with my parenting and sometimes has input of his own wich I appreciate because his own daughter is now 12.

Denise - posted on 02/19/2009

1

13

0

hi everyone, my friend suggested this site to me. I lost my husband nearly 7 months ago. He had a brain tumour but the operation was successful it was a dvt that he died from. leaving his 4 yr old daughter and myself to deal with all the uncertainty life has to throw at u with a whopping great big sledge hammer xx

Michelle - posted on 02/19/2009

10

6

0

my godness claire i feel for you. must be very hard for u to try and xplain to your son. hopefully he will understand one day and you can both speak about what happend. i hav no advice,i wish i did,i can only wish you luck and happiness in the futre. xx 

Claire - posted on 02/18/2009

25

10

2

i tell him his gone to the angels but he comes out with why?wen i say he wasnt well he says things like why didnt he go to the doctors,the angels are magic why cnt they open his mouth and take the ill stiff out i miss my daddy,his only four but he has an answer to everything his so smart. and its hard i mean how can i tell a four year old he took illegal drugs and overdosed!

Vasudha - posted on 02/17/2009

3

0

0

I always told my son since he was 2 that Daddy has gone to stars and God....and will not come back.God is taking care of him beacuse none of us could help him or make him feel better

Vasudha - posted on 02/17/2009

3

0

0

Hi
Sorry to hear about your loss.
I lost my husband 2yrs ago to cancer,when my son was 2.
I am glad my mom and dad came over from india and are with me...but it just seems so unrealistic...not having him around

Fleur - posted on 02/17/2009

1

24

0

Michelle, yes i too have last my partner. It was very sudden. I have 2 boys, one just turned 3 and the other just turned 1. I am also pregnant 6 months.Everyday is difficult, it was only 3 months ago since his passing. I just have to remember that tomorrow is a new day.even if i have some moments that are not going so well. But im lucky, my boys are god boys:) I try and enjoy being in the moment.

Claire - posted on 02/17/2009

25

10

2

hello,im 22 years old and i lost my partner (sons dad) 20 months ago,he was only 23 at the time and my son was only two and a half, he unfortunatly had a drug problem and died of a heart attack due to an overdose of cocaine.



it happened in our first home together after being a couple of three years,so i saw it all and it wasnt preety,the council moved me into anouther flat close to my family,i have lots of family suport but it does get hard some days when i really miss him but i ahve to get through it for my sons sake.i have a question though what do i tell my sont (now 4) when he asks where his daddys gone?

Tracy - posted on 02/15/2009

14

12

1

Hi Felicia,



I lost my partner to cancer about 8 months ago and I hate the weekends as well as all my friends are married with kids. It gets very very lonely and all my family live elsewhere in NZ so I dont even have them. Where are you from??



 

Betty - posted on 02/01/2009

23

4

0

Hi Felicia! Actually - I can't wait until the weekends come! Even though my husband has been gone for almost 1 year, I still look forward to hanging with my kids. My 4 year old is quite a handful but my 13 yr. daughter helps when I need her. The only thing I hate most about the weekend is having to cook again. My husband loved to cook and he would cook on the weekends - I miss that!



You are right! Since my life has been so tied up wiht my husband and the kids, I've neglected my friendships and I am in the same boat as you. I just take it one day at a time and wait for what the future brings me. You can always talk to me when you need to chat or vent! :)

Felicia - posted on 01/31/2009

4

1

1

Sorry to hear it.  Right now I hate it when its a weekend, and I really don't have anything to do.  About all my friends are married with kids, just like I was, but I wish that I had some one to just hang out with.  I miss that the most.  Talking about funny stuff the kids did, or just about work and things like that.

Betty - posted on 01/31/2009

23

4

0

Hi ladies! I've been looking around for this category. My husband passed away last year from an illness and now I'm alone raising 2 kids. It was very scary in the beginning and still is and I'm still finding my way. I agree - I have some good days and some bad days when I feel so alone and overwhelmed!

Felicia - posted on 01/29/2009

4

1

1

Yes I was 7 months when he died.  Thank God I had tons of family around.  Do you?

Michelle - posted on 01/29/2009

10

6

0

yes ur right,some days are better than others. my patner died 3 months ago as he collided with a fire engine. i lost my brother who was 24 to cancer 4 days before. was you pregnant with your son when husband died? x

Felicia - posted on 01/28/2009

4

1

1

Michelle, Hi, I lost my husband about 8 months ago to cancer, we had a daughter who is 2, and now I have a son who is almost 4 months. doing it alone sucks, but some days aren't so bad.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms