Going to play groups with mums that have partners.

Courtney - posted on 02/14/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

41

9

3

Im 23 and Im a single mum to 13 month old twins. I have been on my own since before I found out I was pregnant so have never known things any other way. The problem is that I really want to start socialising with my kids at play groups but feel self conscious about being a young single mother. I find it hard hearing other mums talk about their familiesand hate that people give my sympathy for my "situation". Has anyone else felt like this?

7 Comments

View replies by

Anne - posted on 02/20/2009

5

29

0

It is a way of life you get so acustomed to, I couldnt imagine having their dad around anymore. When it comes down to it, it really doesnt matter what other poeple think. All that matters is if your children are happy and healthy, and trusting in yourself that you are doing the best job you can. Hold your head up high and be proud of yourself for being strong enough to do it on your own. And dont worry about everyone else, cause at the end of the day its just you and your babies!

Jodie - posted on 02/20/2009

34

11

3

Quoting Stacia:

Yea, I actually find it kind of funny when they complain about their partners not helping out. It makes me feel a little grateful that I don't have anyone else to get annoyed with!


I hear ya!!! Some mothers ask out how I do it, but if its all youve ever known then you dont know different so what a stupid question. (I am 22 with a 1 yr old and on my own since 3 months pregnant). Some I have heard sit there and say they would not be able to cope with out their partners helping and I just think well how do you think I cope???

Michelle - posted on 02/15/2009

14

37

2

Just like the other lady's have told you it's great time to have ADULT conversation and good for your twins to have socialization also. I've found more times then not I'm the one feeling sorry for them. They usually rushed into a marriage or rushed into getting prego and didn't think/discuss things through with their partner. After they have the baby one wants to parent this way the other that way. Who's going to take responsibility for what. Who's going to work or are they both, is that going to cause jealous and/or hurt feelings cuz the other wanted to. So most of the time i laugh at them they feel sorry for me, I count it as equal. We as single mom's know what needs to be done and we do it however we know best to do.
The one great thing having these play groups and them knowing your "situation" is that these peeps can help you out. If you need a babysitter, someone to talk to about your kid (since they will get to know both of you), they also could let you know about resources that are in your area, and the list goes on. Don't hate that people give their sympathies to you, use it for your and your children advantage.

Courtney - posted on 02/15/2009

41

9

3

Thanks for your comments, its good to get other peoples opinions on the situation. I to find it relieving to not have that other person to worry about, just really miss having someone to relay the day to and to snuggle up with:) I have our first play group session this week so hopefully the nerves settle before the day arrives!!

Amanda - posted on 02/15/2009

43

30

5

ya totally!!!! I sometimes feel that way too!!! But I also feel like telling them to shut up sometimes too!!! hahaha although my daughters father takes her at least once a month over night i try to take one of my friends babies for the night so they can have a break too!!! They always are the first to tell me atleast i get a break when her dad takes her!!! So i just say why dont you tell your husband to take your child lol i dont know i have very different feelings sometimes!!! Im sure it depends on the day lol

Stacia - posted on 02/15/2009

2

22

0

Yea, I actually find it kind of funny when they complain about their partners not helping out. It makes me feel a little grateful that I don't have anyone else to get annoyed with!

Amanda - posted on 02/15/2009

43

30

5

I am a single mom to a 10 month old and i am 22!!!! I have had play dates with other mothers and their children and what i have to say is it can be very relieving but also very stressful!!!! You will sometimes have to listen how their partners dont help them and so on and it makes me feel like they complain too much becuase they at least have someone!!! But it is nice to have the kids playing together and having adult conversations!!! They seem to be sympathetic towards me but dont really go on and on about it!!! It actually is nice to talk about things that other mothers can relate too and stuff!!! Not sure i helped but thats what i have to say!!!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms