Laura - posted on 02/04/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )




hI i really need some advise, if any one can help.

Ihave a 4yr old boy and 2yr old girl, my ex hubby and i split when my daughter was 2 weeks old, their dad has always had contact wityh the kids up until 5 months ago, he refuses to give me any contact info as to where he takes kids on overnight stays and his phone number so i suspended contact until he gave me the info, since then i have not heard a thing from him, he pays regular maintanence tho,

This is really affecting my little boy now and constantly asks question and i am as honest as i can in a 4 yr old terminology, he knows as soon as his dad gives me the details and stops being silly he will see him again. The other afternoon he was talking bout his dad and asked tyo ring him at work so i allowed it, he spoke to him for the first time in 5 months and now this is really affecting him, he hasnt stopped talking bout his dad and constantly asking to see him.

What do i do?, Idont like seeing my son like this but also feel i cant let him go to his dads since i havce no contact details. Please help!!!!

Many thanks



View replies by

Rachael - posted on 02/12/2009




you should have contact info and i think you are goin about this in the right way my biggest fear for my son is that when he is old enough to understand what a dad is that i am not goin to be able to tell him is the dads choice not to call and talk to his kids that is his business and i can understand where you are coming from with the " you dont want to see your child like that" but you have told him everything...

Sharon - posted on 02/10/2009




yeah you stick with what your doing,i know it's heartbreaking for you & your little boy but those kids safety is your priority. If their father is having them over night then he should provide you with an address & contact number as a responsible adult he would expect it from you! I had the same problem when my ex started seeing his son,so we have since made arrangments that when he see's his son he has him at the grandparents house. good luck with the situation & stay strong.

Melissa - posted on 02/04/2009




Yeah, you definitely need to know where he can be reached! Could you deal with having the father come to your house for a little while or meeting him somewhere so the kids can spend time with him but they go home with you? But why doesn't he want to give you any contact info? That's weird. I'm so sorry this is so hard on your little boy, it must be heartbreaking for you. I guess just keep doing what you are doing, being honest and try to get some info. You're doing the right thing, good luck!

Shasean - posted on 02/04/2009




He sounds like a child himself!  You were absolutely right in your actions and should stick to your guns.  God forbid something should happen that you need to get in touch with him for emergency purposes or if there is a situation that you have to involve police in and you cna't get in touch with him.  If ever a situation like that should occur and goes to court you'll look like the fool for not having contact information.  If there is no order of protection involved, there is no reason why he can't give you the contact information.  Your son sounds very mature for his age.  Just keep doing what you are doing and explaining things to your son as you are.  As he gets older start to allow your son to ask HIM the questions (if he hasn't already) and let the burden lay with him on that one.  I hope that you aren't covering for your ex with your son by making excuses for his absence and lack of contact.  I know it is hard but stay focused and you'll get through.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms