Hi I need your emotional support!!!

Jessica - posted on 03/22/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I am a mother of 4. My twins will be 4 in june. i also had a baby that died of a spider bite at the age of 6 weeks. And i also have a daughter that is 1. While i was pregnant with my last my ex-husband decided to live polygamy. i left him as soon as possible afterwards. i had not financial support, I didnt have any job experience, and im only 22. My children are now living with their father right now which i feel is a dangerous environment for my children. they ar with him because i still have no way to feed or care for them. I will have completed a phlebotomy course in 2 weeks and can get a job imediately afterwards. my problem is that when I am financially able to get a home and be able to feed them, i dont know how i can get them back. My heart aches so bad not having them with me right now! But they need a safe place. I know they can come live with me afterwards. i have no doubt about that. but my question is do i live near their father so they can still see him or do i take them and move away?

9 Comments

View replies by

Neely - posted on 03/26/2009

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Did you go to court with your ex for him to get legal custody?  If so, I would talk to your ex first, try to be civil anyways and negotiate before going to court, my ex husband and I put out over 8 grand to get custody of his daughter and she (his OTHER ex wife) can still at any time bring the case up for review and try to take her back.  Listen to everyone else and don't move away from there dad.  I moved an hour away and it is so hard on the kids not getting to see him as much as they did before I moved.  We do the drive every weekend.





Jennifer - posted on 03/26/2009

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My sister lost her kids because she left her kids with the father because of the same reason. When she got situated she went back for them. He would not let her have them back. he won custody because she left them. Don't make the same mistake.

Jennifer - posted on 03/26/2009

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U go where you need to go so you can find a job. Apply for low income houseing now. Not having a job u can still get into housing. also get your self food stamps. last but not least when you get the foodstamps they will have information on lowincome lawyers. Get one and protect your self before your exs gets costody of them. Don't be too proud. Take the help now. Later on in life maybe you'll be the one helping some one alse!! Please trust me on this I have been through it!

Karen - posted on 03/26/2009

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I agree with Demetria, Im 33 years of age and always felt a void because of not having my dad around. The child will eventually suffer emotionally eventually. As for you, you could not be doing a better job at making youself better for your children. You have to focus a deal with this head strong. And if be it, the court will see that you was not sitting and waiting for a handout. Good luck

Demetria - posted on 03/23/2009

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Never deny your kids their father. No matter how messed up he is. But you just hurry and better yourself and your environment before you get them back. Just pray and pull the energy from other places. Start working out, reading books and stay actively engaged in you and your well being. Your kids will need you to be mentally and physically strong when you get them back. Take the opportunity to futher you education and go to college. This will give you more education to make better money and you will show the courts (if needed) that you are making moves to give them a better , more structured life. And all the moms on here will kepp you in our prayers, im sure. keep your head up sister.

Alexis - posted on 03/23/2009

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hi,i have a 3 yo and a 2 yo,i divorced my husband last christmas. all my family are interstate. so i dont have any family support around me.. i have thougth seriously about moving closer to them but then the children need their dad.... they will get to an age where the need for thier dad will lessen, but at the end of the day who am i to stop a relationship between a father and a child when both parties are willing.... it is difficult but the kids are happy. and i get a break.....

Jessica - posted on 03/23/2009

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thanks guys. i really needed your advice! I know that i can get my kids back because we did already work that out luckily

Jen - posted on 03/22/2009

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Melissa- couldn't have said it better myself! My husband and I separated in July of last year, and I moved my daughter across the state to be closer to my parents. My daughter sees her dad every other weekend, and it's a toll to drive the 2 hours back and forth to meet him, but it's worth it because he is her dad, after all. BUT Melissa is also right in that your kids will eventually see their father for what he's worth and make their own decisions, then.

Melissa - posted on 03/22/2009

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Quoting Jessica:

Hi I need your emotional support!!!

I am a mother of 4. My twins will be 4 in june. i also had a baby that died of a spider bite at the age of 6 weeks. And i also have a daughter that is 1. While i was pregnant with my last my ex-husband decided to live polygamy. i left him as soon as possible afterwards. i had not financial support, I didnt have any job experience, and im only 22. My children are now living with their father right now which i feel is a dangerous environment for my children. they ar with him because i still have no way to feed or care for them. I will have completed a phlebotomy course in 2 weeks and can get a job imediately afterwards. my problem is that when I am financially able to get a home and be able to feed them, i dont know how i can get them back. My heart aches so bad not having them with me right now! But they need a safe place. I know they can come live with me afterwards. i have no doubt about that. but my question is do i live near their father so they can still see him or do i take them and move away?


Jessica-I was divorced 5 years ago and wanted badly to leave the area.  To get away from my ex.  My situation was different granted, but one thing I am glad about is that my oldest (now 10) sees him for what he is.  My 5 year is starting too.  But they love their father and always will.  Eventually, if you where to take him away, they will have hard feelings towards you.  let them be the judge of him, it will allow you to move freely later on.  



I hope that your legal battle will be in you favor, because I don't know how else you would be able to get them back, unless your ex would work with you.

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