HOw diffcult isit to be a single mom?

Noridayu - posted on 02/22/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Im in a process of divorce, while im working full time, both sons are in a child care centre. Age 3 & 5

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Lisa - posted on 02/22/2009

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my daughter turns two very soon iv been a single mum to her for near all of it and ill tell you yes it does get hard but all the times she looks at me in her cheeky way makes it all worth while :) men are more trouble than they are worth so chin up



 

Alice - posted on 02/22/2009

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It is very difficult! Especially if you are working, bless you! I think the most important thing I could tell you is to please take care of yourself...the better you feel the better you will be able to care for these cute little guys! Try to get enough rest, eat healthy and get personal time for yourself! This is hard if you work because I used to feel that I spent enough time away at my job, but you just have to get time alone too! Accept help from family and friends, if they offer. That was a hard one for me. Its easy to try to be superwoman only if it doesnt kill you! LOL



It seems that looking ahead to all that responsibility is overwhelming, but you will see that all of a sudden you will look behind and they are all grown up! Cherish every moment and try not to "sweat' the small stuff like unmade beds or a pile of laundry! good luck!



 

Andrea - posted on 02/22/2009

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I am a 26 year old single mom. It does get hard sometimes, but I know my daughter is better off this way. Her father and I could not get along, so I decided for us to not be together would be much healthier and happier of an environment for our daughter than for us to be at each other's throats every day. She has adapted to it really well, but she is only 14 months old. It may be harder since your kids are older, but they will adapt also, just give it time. It gets hard sometimes for me because her father doesn't take her as much as he should, so I rarely get a break and get very stressed out every day, but I wouldn't trade being a mom for the world. My daughter is my life. I am a stay at home mom, so I 'm with my daughter 24/7, which gets pretty stressful, but it will get easier. Trust me, if I can do this alone, anyone can! Lol. Good luck =)

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Dorota - posted on 02/23/2009

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I'm a single mom of a 5 year old boy, I left his father when I was 7 months pregnant and have been doing it alone since. I actually left the country (USA) and moved back home to Canada so he doesn't know his dad at all as he hasn't seen him in 4 years now. All he knows is pictures and he does talk to him on the phone twice a year. I work full time and he is in daycare/nursery currently 10 hours out of each day. On top of that I am taking courses by correspondence which entails 20 hours of study time per week, but I'm doing it and sometimes it gets really stressful but I believe my son and I are much better off alone than if I were to have stayed. Hopefully your divorce goes as smoothly as possible, and as long as you have a good support system you'll do fine. It'll make you a stronger person even though at times you may want to completely break down. In terms of breaking it to your sons - make sure you both sit down with them and emphasize to them how much you both absolutely love them and that even though you and your ex will not be living together anymore, that they will always be loved by both of you. To make it a more stable transition, make sure your boys have a sense of home in both places that they will be staying - some of their favourite things should be in both homes. Just some advice for an easier transition. Hope it all works out for you!

Denise - posted on 02/23/2009

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my boys were 5 and 7 and in school and afterschhol daycare as well when i went on mine own. They did ok, i also work full time. It has been 4 years now and the kids are happy and they see there dad every other weekend which works. i would to chat more if there us anything you want to know.



Take care Denise

Julie - posted on 02/23/2009

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Hard can be an understatement sometimes!



Im a single mum with 3 kids, the eldest is 11 & the youngest is 4.  Their dad has very little to do with them most of the time, (unless theres no better offers!) & he doesnt pay maintainence either. So my biggest problems are energy & money! But you know what, its worth it!  When they are older, they will know that it was me who was there for them, through the good & the bad. That it was me who worked my butt off to give them the best education.



One day ,the fact that it was me who yelled or smacked or banned them from their bikes, wont matter, coz they'll rememeber it was me who loved them enough to be there for them everyday.



I hope your divorce goes as smoothly as possible.  God bless you & your children.......:-)

Jodi - posted on 02/22/2009

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its very hard but life is hard and you will deal with what eva life throws at you. If you can still keep a good parenting relationship with the father for your or your kids sake, it makes it alot easier. I am still good friends with my sons father and we always make sure communication lines are open, it is good this way as we are no longer fighting and always doing what is best for our child. i havent been with him since my son was 1 and he is now five, and it is still working well. I will hower say it is really hard disipline wise not to have that extra parent backing you up at the time it is happening, it does get hard when feeling like you dont know what to do and dont have that backup. But as i said keep communication lines open and its alot easier.

Tina - posted on 02/22/2009

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Im a widow who just gave birth to 2healthy beautiful baby boys born Feb1/09 - 5wks premature. My partner passed away last august, and i miss him alot. Its hard looking after twins, but i have a great support group and lots of family where i live. which is good.

Noridayu - posted on 02/22/2009

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that is really a great advise. Thank God i do have wonderful family to give me all e support that i may need. Thank you & i shall note it in my head.... oh! btw your words really remind me of MS OPRAH..

Noridayu - posted on 02/22/2009

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Hey nice to know that i got myself a reply so quickly..well i guess our story kinda of alike. Me & my husband just drifted apart and have totally different goals. I really hope this is for e best but he doesnt think that way u know.. I really hope that e split will be amicable coz he's a good guy 2. The worst part right now is how to break e news to my boys...I work full time & e only time i see them is in e morning and if im lucky, i'll get to put them to sleep. I've learnt that hardship is coming my way and im willing to go for it!! Thank u soo much 4 ur advise.. {wink}

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