how do i deal with a 3 year old that doesn't want anything to do with her dad?

Misty - posted on 04/30/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

1

19

0

my three year old daughter is to the point of not wanting to have anything to do with her dad cause she says she doesn't want to see him at all

11 Comments

View replies by

Deana - posted on 05/06/2009

6

23

0

i wouldnt force her to see him that will more then likely make her not want to see him even more, maybe you can like take her to the park and have him play with her while u are there...going thur the same thing

Melissa - posted on 05/04/2009

4

28

0

I agree with most of the above replies. My youngest just turned 4 on saturday and he does not always want to go to dad's. I feel bad when he is crying "no". I know their father would never hurt them but at times I wonder if he is as patient as me, and maybe raising his voice more than what should be. I say this because my 8 year old tells me sometime he does. So basically no matter what, it's hard to have your child go when they truly don't want too, maybe they have a reason they don't want to. Talk to her, look for facial expressions, or anything that might help you decide better. Good luck:)

Jennifer - posted on 05/04/2009

2

6

0

I still feel you shouldn't force her. talk to her about it, but don't make her spend time alone with him. She will not only recent you but act out towards him. yea she is young but she is still a living breathing person with feelings and they need to be concidered.

Kirstin - posted on 05/03/2009

101

15

8

When i was younger if me or my brother did not want to see our dad we didnt. You will regret it everytime if you force her to.

Let her decide when she is ready.

Anita - posted on 05/03/2009

15

15

5

i am sure you are going to be angry for me saying this but, your daughter is 3. she is not in control... you and her dad are. perhaps she does the same thing to him when it is her turn to come to you. maybe it's just that she misses you.. and not that she doesn't want to go to her dads. i have a 3 and 4 year old, so i know the age you are dealing with. i would honestly say, i would take their concerns, i would look into the issue, but if you have a visitation order in place, you cannot keep her from her dad. you could go to jail for that. if there is no visitation order in place, speak with the dad. where does he take her for the visits? is there anyone else there? how long are they for? perhaps it isn't seeing her dad but it is who he is with or where she goes.

Laura - posted on 05/01/2009

33

24

6

Like the others, i agree not to push her into doing something she isnt comfortable with, and I think it is worth trying to talk to her to see why she doesnt want to see daddy,

[deleted account]

I agree not to push her. However, my daughter, who is almost 5, does the same thing sometimes and tells me she doesn't want to go to her dads. Her father and I have been split for 3 years now and the schedule that we currently have has been in place for about the same amount of time. We share her 50/50 and if I requested to keep her because she said she didn't want to go with him he would flip! No joke! So even when she looks right at him and tells him she doesn't want to go with him and wants to stay with me (like she did christmas day and on other occassions) I have no choice but to let her go with him. He would do something ridiculous like hold me in contempt of the parental rights court order. Good luck hunny!

Gifty - posted on 05/01/2009

40

19

4

I agree,don't force her until she's ready 2 see him an pls do try an talk to her to find out why she don't want to see him.All the best.

Jennifer - posted on 04/30/2009

2

6

0

I agree, don't posh her. She will warm up to him when she is ready. If you are the primary care giver she see's you as the safe zone. My daughter's father has just come bck in to the picture after no being around since she was an infant. He expects her to just jump in his arms and love him. It takes time. She will play with him after he has been around for a while, but she is very selective about the love she gives him and has a problem listening to him when he tells her to do something. I have been her only parent for all of her almost 4 years of life. I don't feel it would be good for her relationship with him to push her to love him or show him love, She has to feel comfortable with him to do that....... so I feel don't push her. she will come around in her own time

Idah - posted on 04/30/2009

9

41

0

Wow, that's hard. My child's father is not in our lives, but I don't think I would force it on her if she didn't want to see him. Maybe she doesn't like the way he treats you or other people. Give them space, she will miss him. If you guys argue in front of her, avoid that as much as you can. She will be daddy's little girl before you know it. All the best.

[deleted account]

I know this is going to be hard to do because all good mom's want their kids to be involved with their fathers but sometimes it's better not to push the issue. My daughters used to go w/ their dad every other weekend but my oldest would litterally throw crying fits and throw herself on the floor. So I had to keep her home a few times (it sucks for mommy alone time) and eventually she got tired of being left out. When he finally did take her it was kind of like a reward after not having seen him for a few weeks.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms