How do I do this alone?

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Elizabeth - posted on 03/04/2009

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hi, im alone with 2 boys, and a little girl is on the way, my childrens dad has been and gone and come back again, and now hes gone for good, there are day when i just cry and there are days that i love life more then anything, but even when times are hard i look at my children and feel my little girl move inside of me, i know its all worth it, and their dad is the one losing out not me and the children. to be honest life has been easyer with out him around, the boys have settled and are more happy. you can do this alone, try some toddler groups u can make some really great friends there and they will help and surport you. the local childrens centre will be a good start.x

Billie - posted on 03/04/2009

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Single mother, from one to another...





A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.
- Cardinal Mermillod







Motherhood brings as much joy as ever, but it still brings boredom, exhaustion, and sorrow too. Nothing else ever will make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his own individuality especially while you struggle to keep your own.
- Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons










 

Shereese - posted on 03/04/2009

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Stay in prayer. Keep a support group. And stay organized and calm. My daughter is only 8 mohths old, but being organized, focused and keeping a schedule really really helps. But, most importantly, pray, pray and more prayer and keep an open relationship with God. Everything will work itself out. It almost always does when you have children. God looks out for babies. Good Luck

Pam - posted on 02/28/2009

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The first thing i will say is that you are not doing it alone. You and your child/ren are doing it together. there will be hard times where you just want to give up but then our children pull us together and make us realise that we do everything we do for our children.
Sure we may never have much time to ourselves but include your children in your activities and it will get easier.\
Dont ever be afraid to reach out for help. i do it all the time and although i like to raise my children my way it is great to sometimes know that their are people there that i can talk to.

Chelseaszidik - posted on 02/28/2009

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Budget, Budget, Budget!!!! That's how I survive.  I also am extremely organized and that decrases any stress if I know that we can afford what we need and we have a plan for everyday.  You have to just give up on putting your needs first in order to raise a happy and healthy child, but that  being said you have to take a few minutes everyday for yourself.  I always put my daughter in her bouncy seat for 20-25 minutes in the morning with toys and her baby einstein video so that i can shower, dress and get ready for the day.  

Heather - posted on 02/28/2009

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That was a question I often asked myself when my son was a baby....and now, he's almost 15!  I've learned that moms are NEVER alone over the years, although there are certainly times where I've felt alone...usually once my son was safely tucked in for the night.  But, you get through one day at a time and eventually will be saying...."How did I do that alone?"  and "Why did it go so fast?"  Enjoy every moment...good and bad...smiles and tears...before you know it, the little one will be on the verge of leaving the nest and, if you've done your job well, will have been taking care of you every step of the way!

Angie - posted on 02/28/2009

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You just do it.  It is hard and stressful but you just do it and don't think about it.  No need to feel sorry for yourself.  It could always be worse just as it could be better.  I understand how you feel completely!  I find that the more i dwell on what i am doing and how stressful it is the worse it seems. 

Kelly - posted on 02/28/2009

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You take life day by day, and if that seems to much, hour by hour or minute by minute. You look at your child and tell them how much you love them, and when your about to break down, you hug them and kiss them. Talk to your friends who have children and are single parents. If you feel you need an outlet see a counselor. You are never alone, you and your child are a team! A team that can and will overcome everything that gets thrown at you guys. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS ON TOP!

Chloe - posted on 02/27/2009

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Quoting Jennifer:



You do the absolute best you can do.  We are not perfect and they don't need perfect moms.  Love your children, the rest will come naturally. 






There will be times you will feel sorry for yourself and there will be times you want to strangle your child but you will have the closest most rewarding relationship of your life.






You are not doing it alone.  You are doing it together.  You and your child.






cant respond any better than this. great answer Jennifer.

Ariel - posted on 02/27/2009

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I wonder the same thing everyday. My son is 13 months and I am 7 months pregnant! The day in day out dealing with Trysten makes me doubt that i will ever be able to care for two. Especially when I am doing it alone. At this time Im not able to work so just providing for my son is a challenge. I have learned, though, to take people up on their assistance. If the lady next door offers to watch Trysten while I run to the store or a doctors appt. i gladly accept! And when I have those days where I just can not bring myself to dealing with his temper tantrums and hair pulling I will ask someone to come over and assist! If nothing else there is always the park. I have been a single mom since December. Before then I worked 60 + hours a week and really never saw my baby. His daddy was the primary care giver! then outta the blue, Im a full time mama! Its scary and its hard, but I would never trade it! hopefully you will find a way to cope and enjoy your baby! Good luck

Kelly - posted on 02/27/2009

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I am a single mom to two children with special needs. They are 17 months apart (ages 1 and 2 1/2). I ask myself that same question on a regular basis. But it all just kinda happens because you just do what you need to do. The one thing I needed to learn (and did learn quickly) is that cleaning can wait (to a point) but the children do not. They grow up so fast and have so many precious moments in the day. Make sure you take time to enjoy those moments. During the day mistakes may be made and you may wish you would have done things differently. But every night the kids are very willing to give hugs and kisses good night. That unconditional love is priceless.

Michelle - posted on 02/27/2009

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Hey, I have asked that question most of the past 2 1/2 years since i became pregnant. I have relied on God for almost everything i have needed to get through it. Lately i've been feeling defeated. Logan (my lil boy 2 yrs old) has been giving me lots of trouble. I have a full time job and in school full time it gets hard but its so worth it when i see him happy. Since i started the circle of moms i've been feeling a lot better now seeing im not the only one. So take it one day at a time! I will be praying for you.

Michelle - posted on 02/27/2009

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We all ask that question often.  My son is three and there are many challenges.  When he was younger I tried to be super mom and do and be everything at all  times.  I began to realize my limits.  I, pray, trust God and prioritize events and needs.  Things are done more slowly, one at a time.  Sometimes I have to make time for a rest.  Both my parents are deceased.  God has blessed me with an awesome group of friends and support from a wonderful church body.  It is very important to create a routine and follow it as much as possible.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  Don't be afraid to say no.  Frustration means you love your baby and you are human.  I give time for those unexpected baby moments.  You'll learn more about those.  Be blessed.  All the best. 

[deleted account]

You do the absolute best you can do.  We are not perfect and they don't need perfect moms.  Love your children, the rest will come naturally. 



There will be times you will feel sorry for yourself and there will be times you want to strangle your child but you will have the closest most rewarding relationship of your life.



You are not doing it alone.  You are doing it together.  You and your child.

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