How do you balance being both mother and father to your child?

Marisa - posted on 12/01/2008 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Since my daughter's been born, her father has been out of the picture in more ways than one. Not only has he been absent from her life, he doesn't even pay child support or, at the very least, cover her insurance. I have been super-mom and dad for ten years. I sometimes feel like, by over-compensating, I'm doing her more harm than good. Is there a happy medium or will I always feel this way? Don't get me wrong, I don't mind being both mother and father to my daughter...she's my life, I'm just wondering if it gets any easier. Please help,



Marisa

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Alicia - posted on 02/23/2009

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Marisa -

I can't say I have a wealth of information, but I understand and relate. My daughter is 12 1/2 and her father has been in and out of her life every few years for a few visits and then disappears again. It's been 3 years again. The only thing we can do is be the best Mom we can be.

We can't be a father but we can find strong male role models - uncles, grandfathers, friends, clergy, etc to be a part of our children's lives. I've been fortunate that my father and a really good male friend have been able to be that strong male role.



Be strong and know that you can only be the best YOU to your child.

User - posted on 02/22/2009

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Hi Marisa, I too am a single parent, something that I learned after about 30 years at it - YOU CANNOT BE FATHER in any way. Be the best Mother that you can, call on some good male people to be good role models. I have learned so much about the differences in how women and men feel, think and act. You will loose your SELF if you try to be anyone but the best of yourself. I hope this helps.

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