How do you correct a defiant 5 year old?

Jessica - posted on 04/17/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My 5 year old is very defiant with me... My hubby and I are separated and I know that she is acting out because of that but what I was wondering is there a way to kinda counter act this issue? I am at my wits end with her and I don't know how much more my parents can take either... We have only been here a short time and I work mid-nights and my mom has while I work... That makes it very hard for her to watch her any other time... Please send some suggestions my way.... Thank you so much... Jessi

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Sara - posted on 04/17/2009

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I went through this with my son. They are a lot more aware of what is going on than we think. The most important thing is to listen more than you talk (I saw this on Oprah or GMA. Can't remember which). Make sure you keep an open line of communication and don't change the rules that she had before the seperation. I actually took my son to a psychiatrist for his ADHD but we discuss this topic a lot. You have to be consistant with consequences and make sure that you and her dad are on the same page regarding consequences and positive reinforcement. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed with our personal grief over the seperation that we forget how much it affects the kids. It really is heart wrenching to see how much it really does affect them. Kids have a way of filing all those emotions away and they come out in the form of defiance because they don't know how to express thier feelings in a healthy way. You really do have to teach them how to channel all that aggression and anger and sadness. Can you tell how much counceling we've been through? haha. Make sure you make time for you too. You have to take care of yourself and your emotions too. It's a balancing act and it's not easy. Get a routine down and stick to it. Good luck!

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