i am a single mum of 3 children and im feeling very low, i dont have any support from exhusband how do you lift your mood when your so low??

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Demetria - posted on 02/13/2009

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Keep your head up honey. My mother said a lot of things that never made sense to me when she was alive and i never understood until i became an adult. But every time i was sad or even looked down she would say "Ain't nothing on the ground for you, keep your head to the sky." She used this saying to teach me optimism, strength, confidence, and positivity. You need to develop something that constantly pushes you towards success and positive thinking.( for me that something is my son) My mom also used to write a positive thought or word on the bathroom mirror each night with soap. So when i awoke each morning i kept that positive thought in my head all throughout my day. I find when i have had a hard day, it helps me to write something positive on my mirror. Yes i still do this for myself. Im so tired the night i write it that when i wake up the next day i forgot what i wrote until i see it. When you think you've got it bad there is always someone who has it worse. (a universal mom quote).

Francine - posted on 02/10/2009

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antidepressants, seriously i saw this program and it sad when a neg thought comes into your had ask yourself do u know that thought is absolutly true then turn the thought around for examble " no one would ever want a single mom with 3 kids" do u know that is absolutly true , no so turn it around someone will want a mom with 3 kids. Made sence to me anyway

Tymicka - posted on 02/10/2009

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Try writing a grateful list everyday.  You can use it when your down and ask a friend to do it with you so you two can keep in other in check!  The grateful list is to consist of stuff that makes you happy and you seek that mood in whatever you do and write it down!  Happiness is an inside job!!!!  Believe that!

[deleted account]

I am a single mom of 3 young young girls, my eldest is 2, and my youngest (twins) are 11mnths. I have my hands full alright! I was in a relationship plagued with Domestic Violence and I don't have support from their father, neither do I want it! Do u know wot I do to relax? I put my kids into daycare 2 days a week and in those 2 days I catch up with someone and not think of the kids over a nice cold beer. It might seem terrible but it helps out so much and my kids love me more for it because they get to interact & play with other children and mummy comes back all full of love because despite the fact that she had a break, it did give her a chance to miss them! And I did terribly but I still had an awesome time too! Its good to get urself happy and excited about the world, doll urself up n make ur self feel pretty and u will feel heaps better! And do something you have always wanted to, as for me I am going back to Law School! Life is just beginning =)

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User - posted on 02/13/2009

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Single mom to one son 11.  While getting away is always fabulous, I also sometime engage my son in one of his favorite activities.  Right now that is video games.  Even though I am not particularly into it, playing with him helps me to unwind from stressers of life, work, family, etc.  But alone time away from the kids is also a must.  Feeling low is a given and will happen, if it lasts too long go talk to someone.

Jane - posted on 02/12/2009

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I also have this problem, I'm a single mother of a 19mths old girl, She sees her daddy only 2 weekends a month and its not even a full weekend (i drop her of Sat morning and pick her up Sun afternoon, If i didn't take her, she would never get to see him), i'm feelin tired, a little over welmed and need a break sometimes, i'm feeling lonely but don't have the time or energy to do anything about it.

So Sandra hun, i'm feelin ya but i don't have the answer either, sorry.

Zezinha - posted on 02/12/2009

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UAuua

Very Inspiring

I am a single mom of a almost 3 year old and it is very hard but I really really wish that I would go and get pregnant again I wnat my daughter to have a sis or bro at home she has one bro at his father home but none here and Although I should maybe plan to marry before the second kid I dont feel the the wish to marry at all

What do I do ?



As for all of you above

CONGRATULATIONS you did it!

Mirjeta - posted on 02/11/2009

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you have always to remember that they didn't ask to be born and they are to young to understand what we are going through, that being mom is that special gift given us from god and remind yourself that always there is someone who has more difficulties raising children than you f ex nonhealthy children, abused children living with two parents .... or me that my husband passed away when my son was 19 months and a daughter only a week. be brave and just be a good mom, we can't substitued their fathers.

Denai - posted on 02/10/2009

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I'm a newly single mum myself,to 3 kids aged 4, 2 and a 1/2 and 20 months,and I completely understand where you are coming from. I have started to go to a local play group,where I can interact with other mums. My older 2 go to pre-school 2 days a week,and their nan has all 3 of them most Fridays. I know its hard at times,I still have days when I dont even want to get out of bed,let alone deal with 3 feral toddlers,but once you get that first bit of motivation out of the way it gets easier day by day. Try to keep yourself busy so you dont have time to dwell on negative feelings,and put your idiot ex-husband out of your mind. As exhausting as it is having no support from the other parent,if he isn't prepared to put in the effort then you and your kids really are better off without him. Keep your chin up,and good luck!

Carrie - posted on 02/10/2009

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I am a single mom of a 9 year old daughter, and sometimes when I'm feeling the way you are I try to surround my self with family and friends. I find that it helps to talk about whats bothering me. I also have to set aside me time and do something that makes me happy. My suggestion is to get a sitter for a night and go out with some of your girlfriends, go dancing or to dinner and a movie. I hope this helps and hang in there things will get better.

Karen - posted on 02/10/2009

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You need to take a minute and thank God for the blessings of 3 children that you get to love and teach and watch grow. Think about the impact that you get to make on someone's life who depends on you and loves you for who you are their MOM. Children are a blessing and when you are going through some low points (which we all go through) we need to be reminded that we are loved. Cherish the time that you get with your kids and when your feeling low find some special way to show them that you care about them and it will be returned. Do a small art project, read a book, play a game and remember that you have a huge job to do in raising your kids and you will need to make sure to find some time for yourself, if even 20 minutes.

[deleted account]

Sandra. I am a single mom of one teenager at the moment. My other's are grown but I know how very difficult this must be for you. If you need anything, please feel free to write me.
Melissa

Sandy - posted on 02/10/2009

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I too am a single mom.  i have 7 kids and the youngest two are twin boys with Autism.  I also put myself back into school FT to fnish my degree.  It can get pretty crazy here, but you can't let it get to you.  Just remind yourself everyday that your children didn't choose to be here, you chose them.  if not for you, who do they have??   They are looking up to you for answers, strength and emotional stability.... even if you don't have them.  Take a few minutes for your self everyday.  I stay up late after the kids go to bed to get my free time and to my homework.



Life is what you make it out to be...it truely is all about your attitude.  i have some quotes om my myspace page you might find helpful (and a few blogs)...  www.myspace.com/patchers7



The greatful list is a great suggestion!

Deana - posted on 02/10/2009

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single mom of 3...14,13, 11...no support from their father, nor do I want it...I left their abusive, drug-using father & was on my own for 9 years, not looking for anything in particular but wanted to fill the void, found myself kicked while I was down...kids would go to bed, then I'd pick up the King of Beers & drink until I fell asleep, realized I was messing up my childrens lives even more so I looked for help, I started going back to church & found God again & with him came my current husband & knight in shining armor...find faith in Jesus & he will help you through, believe me, ...trust in Him & He will help you through....you are in my prayers!

Rande - posted on 02/10/2009

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Find a good book, movie or activity you can do with or without the kids to lift your mood. It may help to talk to counselor if the feelings of lowness don't go away by finding a good activity. It is hard I know to be a single mom cuz I have been one for 16 years. I have a 16 yr old boy and a 7yr old girl so I know it can be overwhelming. Neither father has been in their lives. Find a part-time job while the kids are in school or if they are not old enough for school then find a church that allows drop in daycare and once a week take them to it and just have me time. Me time doesn't have to be expensive it could just be taking a bath or shower without the kids yelling for your attention or meditating without interuptions. If the kids are old enough to spend a little time by themselves in another room tell them you need 20 minutes of alone time and set a timer so they know when 20 minutes are over and just read, exercise or play on the computer without interuption then when the timer goes off you are more ready to focus on them.

Alexia - posted on 02/10/2009

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Hi there...I am a mom of one 8year old son. When I feel low and things get hard I look at my son...and know no matter what its so worth it. The unconditional love children bring. Even when it's hard your never alone. Hang in there!!!!

Rebecca - posted on 02/10/2009

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i no its hard isnt it, im a single mom of 2 my son as a.d.h.d an poss phycological prbs i get abused by im am lft bruised, my poor 6yr old is c in ths its so hard when u got no nk up i no, thr sum days when i wana run away or jus tek a few pills n hpe it goes away but at the end of the day my kids need me an i av 2 carry on

Sue - posted on 02/10/2009

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I am a single mum to a 6 yr old, a 4 yr old and an 11 month old, none of which see their dads because they are to busy with their own lives and their new families. I moved away from family a while ago before splitting up with my ex partner due to his work. Now I am stuck here and can't afford to move back near my family. I have a small group of friends who i go for coffee with most mornings when the big kids are at school and I av the odd (very rare) girls night in at mine when my friends husbands don't mind looking after their own kids so my friends can come to mine for a few hours in the evening. Othere than that.... it is just me and my little terrors. I tend to be ok in myself when I am out of the house or the kids are home with me but when they are all in bed and I am sat on my own in the living room, that's when it hits me that I am constantly low but I occupy myself to not think about in the day time. I have started having early nights seeing as I have to be up at 6am to do the school run and when I sleep, I don't think about being lonely. I have started saving my house work to do when the kids are in bed so I am not sat thinking for too long......



 



So basically, I keep my mind busy. Other than that I don't know what to say other than no matter how low I feel... I look at my kids and realise I am the luckiest person alive!!!



 



Hope you feel better soon hun x

Fiona - posted on 02/10/2009

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It is hard being a single mum.  I am a single mum of a 3 year old, who luckily has started pre-school.    Her dad sees her once a week, but apart from that we have no dealings with him.   My family lives 600 miles away from where we are, so I don't have their support either.  I found that by going to as many groups as I could, and getting the chance to meet other mums helped me out a lot.  There are a lof ot lonely mums out there, that just need someon to talk to.  I know it's hard to find the enthusiasm to get up and go out, but once you take the first step, you will wish you had done it sooner.  Hope this helps a little.

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