I need to rant!!!

Deanna - posted on 02/04/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My daughter was in the hospital the last week of Jan. with bronchiolitis. Of course, I have no insurance as my work doesn't afford me that luxury and I barely make enough to keep us going even with sperm donor's sporadic child support payments. So needless to say the hospital bills are coming in and I'm the creek here.



So here's my problem.... I email sperm donor with what he owes me as it is per our child support agreement that we each pay half of what the medical bills are or if he carries insurance that he is to carry her on his policy (Course he doesn't have insurance either). What I get in return is a very hateful email (He never once asks about if she is well or not and just basically reinforces my belief that he is a jerk... He also blocked me from emailing him ...I find this move very childish)from him talking about how doesn't owe me squat cause me and the kangaroo court decided all this without him (Mind you he had every opportunity to show his lazy ass to court or even call the court to dispute whatever he thought he should but opted to do neither). Course, he blames me for what the COURT laid out in the child support agreement. I had NO say in what the court decided. I just showed up to court to prove that I was willing to pursue him as her legal "father". So now I'm trying to hold him in contempt of court for not following the agreement but I can't seem to get any help from the state of Florida about it. I called the courthouse and asked them what to do and the woman I spoke with was rude and not very helpful. I asked if I could get sperm donor's address so I could have him served with contempt papers but was told that they couldn't give out addresses over the phone. And on top of that the courthouse doesn't even have his correct address cause he never notified them that he had moved back to Illinios. This is also another contempt charge because without the address notification it's like he is attemptnig to hide from the court.



Then I called the Child Support Enforcement Office and have heard NOTHING from them. I'm giving them til Friday to call me back and if I still hear nothing from them then they will get a letter from me asking why they refuse to help me. CSE has sperm donor's address (I inquired about his address before I moved to Louisiana) and was told that they couldn't give me his address. So my main thought is to have CSE give the courthouse a call and update them so that the court can hopefully file a contempt charge on sperm donor for not updating his address like he was suppose to. I'm just at my wit's end here with not getting any help from the state of Florida... It's like they just don't care anymore. Least I can say Louisiana has been a little kinder in thier dealings with me. While in the hospital someone helped us with trying to get Medicaid forms started and stuff like that. Now I'm just getting ready to turn in some info they need to hopefully get Medicaid for my daughter so that the hospital bills don't kill me completely.



I just need someone to give me some advice on how to deal with this a-hole who refuses to help me pay for the bills that I have already incurred. I'm so angry with him at this point that I'm literally seeing red. Sorry the rant was so long but I just needed to get that out of my system. Thanks for reading.

10 Comments

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Amanda - posted on 02/05/2009

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I am not really for sure how things work in Louisiana, but I live in Kentucky and the CSE is slowly making things better. My son's father does not pay child support and they have taken action for contempt of court. He has his court date in about 2 weeks. I call my local county's office regularly to get things moving and I am not for sure if that helps or not. I just ask what is going on with the case. Also, there was a time where my son was in the hospital and I called to let him know and he wasn't concerned at all. He never asked how he was doing or anything along those lines. You are not alone on "not-so-fabulous" sperm donors. I am sorry to hear that she is sick again. I will keep her in my prayers.

Deanna - posted on 02/05/2009

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Right now we're back to square one... After a nap today we woke up to the same problem as before... A little labored breathing and being lethargic. So I'm praying that it's not the same problem as before and that we don't need a return trip to the hospital. Thank God they gave (well I bought) a breathing treatment machine at the hospital so now we're back to breathing treatments every 4 hours... So please say a little prayer for us.

Tammy - posted on 02/05/2009

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I'm very fortunate that I make enough to care for my 5 children without welfare or child support, but when sperm donor decided he had all theese rights get overly involved in my childrens life even though he hasn't paid a dime in 10 yrs i asked CSE to help Ha Ha!! Didn't happen.  I have never denied him visitation even though he doesn't pay but my 16 yr old daughter is going to a residential school for gifted children and he is actually  starting to stalk her.  He is violent and went to prison for holding us hostage.  Now he has the nerve to say he's claiming them on income taxes and he wants their SS#'s. CSE is a joke unless the father is a nice guy and already paying. 

Deanna - posted on 02/05/2009

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Thank you all for the kind words. My daughter is doing just wonderful. She's all better and today has been running around with a box on her head...lol... So that tells me she's back up to par.



Kate, I'm looking into free legal services so hopefully that will get me somewhere.



Denise, I'll have to look into that. THANK YOU!



Alisa, my daughter has Medicaid through the state of Florida but it's no longer valid now that we live in Louisiana. So now I'm busy busting my tail trying to get her on Louisiana Medicaid cause I can't get the sperm donor to help me out. I've already put $845.00 on a credit card so that's coming out of my pocket. And I got a bill for where they put her under for $810.00 and I haven't even recieved the hosiptal bill itself. But he knows he is legally responsible for half of what I have incurred. It's just trying to collect on the payment that's pissing me off.

Alisa - posted on 02/05/2009

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Hi Deanna,

Florida doesn't have type of subsidized health insurance for children? I looked this up for you, there are free programs if you meet the income requirement, I'm not sure if you do but there are also state sponsored insurance plans that cost around $20/month which I'm sure the court would add to his child support payment not that you recieve it yet but when you do it'll be alot in back child support.



But either way $20 is alot better than what you owe.. You should atleast look into it then she's covered and you have less of a reason to deal with that asshole.





I HOPE YOUR DAUGHTER'S FEELING BETTER! =)

Kate - posted on 02/05/2009

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Hey, I hope things work out for you and your daughter gets better. I live in Australia so am not sure how the system works there, but I have been speaking to a social worker and she has been really helpful. Maybe you can find one to speak to who can advise you of your options?

Denise - posted on 02/04/2009

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Hi. One way to get him to own up to his responsibility is to file for welfare benefits for your daughter. They'll find him and go after him for reimbursement. Good luck, and I hope your daughter is feeling better.

Deanna - posted on 02/04/2009

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Thanks Steph! I appreciate your MSN addy and the offer to talk. That was sweet of you to offer that. I felt soooooooooo much better after posting that rant but I think the main thing that really gets to me is that he NEVER even asked if she was ok... At this point the money is a moot point. I just want him to care about her health and well being like he does for his other two children. Maybe if he asked if she was ok then I might not have been so hot under the collar about the money. But he's just a jerk who doesn't deserve her.. Sad thing is I have a very good friend in Georgia who is willing to marry me and be her Dad. Very odd that it takes my best friend wanting to be her Dad when her real "dad" wants nothing to do with her.

Steph - posted on 02/04/2009

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hi i honestly dont know what to suggest because i dont get anything off my baby's dad either and csa(child support agency) got involved he blamed me for it but i still dont get a penny coz he apaerntly has him 1 nyt a week and sez if i ask him to get something for my son he will but i asked for something and all he could say is hes skint like im not i have bills to pay a child to pay for and myself aswell it aint easy all he has to pay for is gas n electric n tht it. grrrr men are all the same if u ask me but dnt be sorry for the rant you need to get it off your chest and if u need someone to talk to i know it may sound stupid but im here my msn addrss if u want it is stephanie.donnison.18@hotmail.com if u need to talk add me id probably be greatful for the chat. just stay strong its all we can do

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