I think I need to take her father to court.

Jaime - posted on 01/18/2010 ( 15 moms have responded )

2

15

0

My daughter is two and a half and I have not gotten full custody yet. I tried to work it out with her father but he is manipulative and just not someone I can love anymore. I claimed her on my taxes the first two years now he claimed her this year. I needed to claim her because I can't afford not to. Should I claim her anyway? I work three 12 hour days at a hospital each week and her father keeps her those days. He doesn't pay child support because we kind of have her 50/50... Do I have the right to claim her? Should I get full custody? I just don't know what to do!

15 Comments

View replies by

Ronni - posted on 01/25/2010

19

44

0

Sounds like you need an attorney. Check out www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/denisemreis

Janet - posted on 01/25/2010

21

4

0

You need a lawyer to tell you what the laws are in your state and how the laws are usually applied and interpreted.
The courts usually take the view of providing financial and emotional support for the child 24/7. They'll take in to account the parenting skills and financial circumstances of the parents. A lot of decisions come from a very formulaic approach.
Get a good lawyer and learn what you need to do.

Karin - posted on 01/25/2010

19

62

0

Whoever the child lived with most of the time, that's who can claim the child. Especially if you have no legal arrangements in place. If it is truly 50/50, then I am thinking the people that said it would be an alternating thing every other year. Child support should not figure into taxes. My son's father tried to say he was going to claim him this year, but he lives in NC and my son lives in OH with me, not to mention that he didn't support him much at all this year anyway, even if that factored in. There is a way for you both to claim him, but receiving different amounts and credits. Look into that. I had to do some research, myself. Here's one site with great info: http://taxes.about.com/od/dependents/Cla...
Good luck, and let us know what happens! :)

Billie - posted on 01/24/2010

12

31

0

I am goin through this with my sons father. My son is just over 2 and his father has not been a part of his life since he was 2 months old. At first everything was okay, then when the state took him to court for child support (manditory in my state) it got really messy. I have him 100 % of the time and has only made 5 child support payments ever. When we went to court, they said he has to pay support and can claim him on taxes every other year, ONLY if his child support is paid in full. Custody was not brought up, it has to be done seperatly here in IL. I would not claim her on taxes, only one person can claim her and if its not written that he cant, legally he can and you dont want to get in trouble. I would HIGHLY suggest talking to an attorney to find out the laws in your state. You could possibly talk to your local child support rep as well, but if you have to actually go to court and there is a possibility for a fight, take you own lawyer, they are the only one who will fight for you. I have been through alot and will help you as much as I can..let me know if you need to talk.

KYM - posted on 01/24/2010

1

10

0

You do have a right to claim her on your taxes because you share custody, but if he is a manipulative person file full custody because a controlling man change at any moment. I've been in a custody battle for the last 3 years with my ex and it turned brutal because when I first went to court was with a legal aid. Please hire an attorney foremost if you decide to file for full custody. You do have the right to claim your daughter on your taxes, if it comes to tax auditing purposes show them proof that you filed custody.

[deleted account]

go throught the court..i went through it all last year with my daughters father....it is all paid for and they will help you with all the decisions on both sides.

Autumn - posted on 01/21/2010

18

18

1

YOu still have her living with you most of the time. And you are her primary custoding and the one that provides for her right. Then you should be claiming her on your taxs not the other way around. My sons father doesn;t see our son and doesn;t pay any child support. It has been just one be fight him my son father. He wants joint custody and I'm going for full custody. Even the so called agreement that has been written up for a second time and not sign says that I have full custody and that I get to claim him. I would go for full custody. ANd yes you should claim her.

Amber - posted on 01/21/2010

14

22

2

going to court is going to get you child support....sorting through custody is going to be a different situation...sounds like you have a nice arrangement with your work schedule and going to court might change that to something you don't want....and any lawyer will tell you that if you have joint custody then most parents split claiming the child on taxes...one gets to one year the other the next. These are all things my lawyer mentioned to me....and going to court can take awhile my custody/visitation still isn't figured out and i've been trying since april or last year....he won't cooperate so basically everything is getting tied up....i would feel out the father and see what can be worked out or what page he is on and then talk to a lawyer

[deleted account]

Going to court will make everything more clear. You can get custodianship, if you cannot get full custody. This allows you to make all decisions for the child but gives the father visitation and makes him pay child support. It all depends on your states views. I know here in Texas it is hard to get a fathers custody removed, especially if he still wants to be in the child's life.

Heather - posted on 01/20/2010

28

43

7

contact your local child services...in most cases, they will do all of the court work for you! and in my state, child support is based on the number of nights the child sleeps at each house...babysitting is great, but doesn't count. he should be paying child support and you should get to claim her on your taxes since you are the one primarily supporting her. good luck!

Veronica - posted on 01/20/2010

8

24

2

Unfortunately it is standard in most states for the parents to alternate claiming the child every other year. As for custody, I'm going through the same thing. My husband and I were separated when we got pregnant and during the pregnancy I learned who he really is and know he is not someone I can be with. Since he has been so absent my lawyer told me that until we get a court custody set, I get to make the rules and say when and if he gets to see our sun. If you go to court, in most cases it is now standard to give the parents 50/50 custody unless you can prove that that should not happen. They'll still check both of your finances and see if you should be getting child support even if you have a 50/50 arrangement. Hope this helps!

Dawn - posted on 01/19/2010

9

26

1

surly the person who the child lives with claims the money for taxes. child support gets reduced if the child stays over night at his house

Michelle - posted on 01/18/2010

245

5

24

Going to court will help you sort out that money thing. You can't both claim, that's a good way to get audited and you don't want to be on the losing side of that!

My daughter's dad hated going to court but at least it is all clear now.

Katie - posted on 01/18/2010

1

8

1

What a tough and messed up situation! I feel your pain. We couldn't come to an agreement and had to do the court thing. He helps out alot now and I do get child support, but in your case u should be able to claim her.Josh and I have an agreement that he can claim Garrett every year if he is all caught up on child support, but since u don't get any, u should be able to. I lose alot of $ not claiming both of the kids but do get a check every week, so I am so sorry for all of this and hope things work out soon for you. I am a pro at all of this stuff, I think, so if u need anything let me know. I hope things turn around and go good for u, I truly thought they never would but Josh decided one day that he "should" pay me because it is truly only helping out the kids. Sorry for he long post but i could go on and on. Good luck!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms