My 12 year old refuses to go to school

Mizzpayasa24 - posted on 02/01/2018 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have a 12 year old daughter who is in the 6th grade and this year has by far been the worst school year ever as far as getting my daughter up in the morning to attend school.It’s a constant battle and I feel like my hands are tied and I am just drowning over here because nothing I have done as helped or made her want to get up and go.I have did everything I can think of from pulling off all her blankets even the mattress ,taking away cell phone and the WiFi,even tossing water,I have called the cops even the juvenile facility here and I get the same answer we are sorry there is nothing we can do,even had the police officer tell me to do what you have to as long as you don’t use excessive force or hit them in the face with anything,then followed up by good luck.I have even reached out to the school many times had meeting with teachers,assistant principal, and counselor to hear oh our hearts go out to you in this situation and we we aren’t saying you are a bad parent but she really needs to start attending school regularly..My daughter is on an IEP in school for math this year in the previous years it was math and reading but they dropped the reading one.She is struggling a great deal in math but has surprisingly good grades in all other classes when she does attend school, I thought maybe she was being bullied because in the past years she had been bullied by students due to that she was a big girl ,they would call her nasty names for it then last year mid school year she developed a bit of an eating problem and would work out a lot ,I didn’t even know this and when it was brought to my Attention it broke me and I didn’t know what to do for her so I just started asking her why is she doing this,that’s about the time my little girl drastically changed her moods became so unpredictable and she every time I asked her a question it was followed up by shouting and just A lot of attitude.I put her into counseling but it doesn’t seem to be doing much good for her and all I ever hear from them is how if my daughter doesn’t start going to school how I will be summoned to court and face hefty fines or even jail time and how my youngest will be put in DHS custody.My question is how can I make an almost 13yr old get up and go when everyday is a constant battle and argument in the mornings about going..I just feel so lost on this and don’t know what more To do for her.Any help or suggestions would be appreciated.. sincerely,J.M

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Sue - posted on 02/10/2018

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It is so sad that we all hear of more of this each day. School is hard at times and we all want the best experience possible for our kids. I don't know if bullying is the only problem, but here is an article that may help. http://bit.ly/2G3HeRE
I'd start having her come up with an outside activitiy that she needs to participate in...tell her she can choose or you will! Think of art, painting, volunteering with local kids after school programs, an instrument, etc...get creative., remind her school is just a necessary thing we all have to go through but it is not life itself. Help her think beyond school.
Prayers for good thingss to happen, and I hope you can get close to her through this too.

Lyndi - posted on 02/06/2018

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wow, that is a tough situation. I wonder if her eating disorder may have triggered this behavior? What we eat can play a huge role in our overall health and mental health. You mentioned the counselor in school, does she talk with the counselor one on one? Can you ask for her to seek counseling in school? Maybe then they could help you come up with a plan that will work for your daughter. I agree with S that you may have to get creative and take away whatever she would rather be doing at home. There is plenty of work to do around the house if she chooses not to go to school. I know it's hard, but don't give up. There is always a solution. Ask other parents that you know what they think or if they have a similar situation and what worked for them. Keep hope, it will work out.

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