My children's Dad.....

Jenny - posted on 03/31/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I need some single Mom advice/support.. Here's my story... I have 2 children. My daughter is 12 and my son just turned 11. In the last year their dad has seen them only twice and both times were their respective birthdays. He basically knows nothing about them, where they go to school, their freinds, who their doctor is, the fact that my daughter has braces, you name it he doesn't know and he never asks how they are. He has never been to any school functions and doesn't know anything about my son's auditory problems. When he made his latest appearance today he commented that I should call him to come and take the kids. I commented that he needs to make the effort to see them and ask about them, not me having to call him. He has always known where we live and has always had my phone number, but he nevers calls. I barely get child support and when I do it's never at what the court has ordered. Technically, custody is joint with the provision that a phone call is to be made before he comes over and wants a visit...but he has never initiated that process....ever and that was set up 12 years ago. At this point both of my children have said without my prodding that they do not want to go with him. I shouldn't force them to go with him should I? Their dad lives in an unstable environment, has never had a stable job for a steady length of time or housing and doesn't even have a valid DL so I believe they shouldn't have to go with him just for that reason. In the same conversation he used "going back to court" because he thinks I should be the one calling him to get the children, it almost made me fall apart because we have done just fine without him and to think what the court could do makes me a nervous wreck. I have never put down their Dad in front of them but behind it all I get so angry to think that he can come in and out of their lives like that and act like everything is okay when its not, he just doesn't get it. I am at a loss right now, if anything thank you for letting me vent...I needed too!

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my daughters 'father' is like that to.  he comes and goes and only wants to see her when it's convienent for him, and when im busy he gets mad and says 'you never let me see my own daughter'  like in your situation hes rarely giving me any childsupport, he doesnt have a DL and hasnt been able to hold down a job for any amount of time, he knows my number but he never calls, and when i run into him he NEVER asks how she's doing, and on top of that he does/sells drugs, and thinks that i wont find out about it.   then he always says that i should let him take her for the weekend, when in the past year he's seen her maybe 5 times, his place has been raided 5 times in like 3 months from different gangsters because they know what hes doing, and he's always high, and he wonders WHY  i dont let her see him.  and we're doing perfectly fine without him or his help, im putting myself thru school, and everything so i know how it goes... anyways just know that im here if you ever need to talk and vent about them. take care!!!!

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