My fiancé and I broke up a little over a month ago, he already has a girlfriend. How do i get over it?

Shelley - posted on 09/02/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )




I need some advice. My fiance broke up with me a little over a month ago and walked out on me and our 3 month old baby girl. and yesterday i found out he has a girlfriend, who has a one year old son. Why is it that he wants to be with her and her son, rather than his own daughter and me? I'm heart broken and I can't seem to get over the facts. What can i do? I can't stop thinking about him...


Tia - posted on 09/03/2010




Hi Shelley. I wish I had some kind of real, practical answers for these kinds of questions, but honestly, I don't other than to say some people are just selfish jerks who go through life making snap decisions based on emotions they feel at the very moment they feel them. There are no practical reasons for what they do...but, they do usually end up living their lives in turmoil and ultimately, their lives wind up being in shambles. If he walked out on his own daughter (and the woman who loved him enough to bear his child), then his relationship with his new girlfriend will more than likely end when he goes through another phase...or things get to be to tough. I would actually pity her because she has yet to find out what a selfish jerk he is. That being said, I have to ask if he is on your daughter's birth certificate as her father? I am asking because as a single mom of 2 boys, the only way I could get their father to pay child support was to file through the state. It took my state SIX YEARS to enforce the order of support, even though their father and I only lived about an hour away from each other and I supplied all the info they asked for about him....employer, phone #, DL #, DOB, address, make/model/and license plate # of his car, SS#. It is very important that you file as soon as possible...even though it may mean having to deal with him being upset with you. Men do not like to be forced to do anything, especially when it deals with their money. Check the child support laws for your state and find out the steps you will have to take to pursue getting an order of support..and having it enforced. Other than that, I say just thank God that he showed his true colors before your daughter got old enough to get used to having him in the home. My oldest son was devastated when his father cut ties with us to "focus on his work" (I was 8 months pregnant with my 2nd son and my first child was 5). It took him years as well as therapy to get over the devastation. The other ladies are right. time will mend your heart and in the end, you'll be stronger because of what you're going through. Best of luck to you and God Bless!


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Shelley - posted on 09/03/2010




Thank you all so much. All of this was very encouraging. Its just so hard at the moment. But, he left now than later. And I've already filed for child support. I'm sorry to hear all of y'all stories. It's heartbreaking. Some men are just jerks!

Barbora Milena - posted on 09/03/2010




Hi, my partner broke up with me 6wks before my daughter was born. He was supposed to call me when he will fly over to be present of the birth, instead he told me i dont wanna be with you anymore and i dont wanna see the baby in my life and he signed a legal document, giving up his daughter was born on Nov 15th and he married another woman on Nov 18th...he was so scared to tell his family his non spanish gf is expecting child with him and he is not married with her, that he prefered to leave me and go back to his previous (of course spanish) gf and marry her, so his family will be happy...mind you, he was 35yrs old and we were together for a 3yrs...
just forget your fiance, if he walked out on you, he doesnt deserve you nor your child and you are better without him...
my daughter is 9mo old now and i totally love being single mom, yes, i missed him first and felt pain and anger, but my daughter deserves happy mommy and positive loving caring home, so no sadness, anger or regrets are allowed here...thanks to being single mom, i have more time for her and i can study university while being at home with her...
time will heal your broken heart, i do not think about him at all now... and to ppl who feel sorry for me i say my girl has a big advantage - she will pick her daddy on her own :-D
keep your head highand stop wasting your time by thinking about someone who doesnt deserve your attention, enjoy every single moment with your child and be happy and live your life!

Jenita - posted on 09/02/2010




I know it is hard, but I promise you sometime soon you'll start to forget about the good memories and the bitterness that comes with them. I went through a similar situation. My fiance broke up with me when i was 7 months over the phone, in the hospital for gestational diabetes. It was a real blow because it came out of no where and he is the one who was really excited about the baby. He came for the baby's birth and left after 3 days, 2 months later i found out he got a girlfriend about 2 weeks after he broke up with me. That was about 13 months ago and gradually i dealt with the pain and moved on. There are better days coming, just keep your head up and focus on you and more importantly that baby girl.

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