my sons farther hasnt been in touch since 16th dec???

Leanne - posted on 02/07/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )




i found out i was pregnant on 26th dec 2008., i had split wiv my bf on the 3rd . (didnt knw i was pregnant at that time) i told him as soon as i found out i was pregnant, but then realised that he didnt believe it was his and then he did, and a few weeks later he sed he wanted a dna test when he the baby was born. i had my son 22nd auaust 09 and i had went out to sumwhere with my mum . one of his farthers mates wked there n told im that i had im. and i gt a msg sayin he was really srry about what he had dun n sed to me earlie in the pregnancy and he wanted to see im but he wanted a dna test first . so i waited 10 wks and still nthing . then i sed to im do u still want the dna test n he sed no as he could see that he was the double of im.. so we arranged to meet me n 2 times was ok. until i sed i could b movin . he sed thta he didnt want any other bloke bringin up his son . he started flirtin wiv me sayin he wanted to make a go of it n b a family. he was meant to meet me but didnt turn up n i txt im later to see where he was n he sed he forgot to txt me as he was ill n went to bed after wk (he had been drinkin night b4) so i sed thats it yr nt seein yr son. as if he could mess me around he will do it to his son. i sed i would leave it to csa n he sed "do it as i woulnt b here anyway" . 2 days l8ta he appolagised 4 the way he was once again . sayin he always skrews things up. n he has alot on his mind e.g debt. i then sed u can see ya son once u have ya head sorted that was 16th dec. still waitin ................................. any advice plz


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Lindsey - posted on 02/07/2010




Just keep living life and loving your son. Forget about that deadbeat dad. Your concern should be your son. If he pops in, then deal with him. Till then go on with your life.

Roberta - posted on 02/07/2010




I have been a single mom for 15 years. my children havent seen their dad but once in 5 yrs. its hard but you cant force them to be a part of your childs life. I have three well rounded children who realize their mother will do anything and everything to support them in what they do and will be there for the rest of their lives. I play the mother and the father, from helping the girls paint their nails to throwin the footballl around with my son. as he gets older involve him in any sports, that will give him some male role models to look up to that will have a positive effect in their lives, not permanent roles but positive ones. My son played JV football this year in highschool and I went to all his home games. All you can do is be there for him and support him. as he gets older and asks, tell him the truth so he never has any reason to doubt you. realize as it is nice to have a father around, it isnt neccessary for your son to become well rounded. If I can do it then anyone can. I raised my son to be what his father was not.

Martina - posted on 02/07/2010




I know what you are saying I have a 7 yr old and his father has not seen him since he was 1. I know that at times you might feel that you need to take the next step for your sons father to be their but you have to live your life for you and your son and all you can do is keep the door open for him and when he is ready he will come but you can't let him just walk in and out their has to be rules and he needs to follow them. A child didn't ask to come into this world we brought them into it and no matter what happens in our life we have to put our child or children first.It is going to be hard don't get me wrong and at times you are gonna wanna give up but don't you have a wonderful little man in your life and he is gonna need you. Myson asks me why his father doesn't come to see him and I tell him I don't know why but he can call him and ask him himself and he does now so I have put it in my sons fathers hand to tell him why and that is what you are gonna need to do when your son gets older.My door is open to my sons father it is up to him if he wants to walk in or not.I do this so that later on down the road no one can say that I shut the door and I moved on with my life you need to move forward and not worry about what he is going to do or not.

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