Should i contact my childs Fathers family?

Hannah - posted on 07/27/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi i was recently writing a letter to my child to give her in the future about her Dad. Who he is and how we met etc.. i went looking online to include any and all photos/information i could find that may help her as an adult if she ever decides she wants to find him.

This got me thinking about his family as i found family photos (it could be a cousin's child i am thinking etc ) and the baby looked so much like my daughter i was so surprised and i thought despite his feelings maybe i should reach out to at least the grandparents to see if they want to have anything to do with her or not. I dont think they know about her i am sure he didnt tell anyone.

He told me he couldnt have anything to do with my child and insisted i have an abortion so i would assume he would be very angry and deny that she is his (especially since i think he might me married now, tho he was not at the time we met) and i told him i was going to have the baby and respect his choice, i have never asked for child support and im not interested at all in his money.

If i did contact the grandparents they could ask for a dna test (which is fine with me) but once its proven he is the dad (i know 100% he is) then i think i may be forced to go for child support which would make things much more complicated i think. im not sure as i dont know anyone in this situation.

I am from Australia and my child is now 3 years old.

He 100% knows she exists and he has never made an effort to contact me about it.

Thanks!

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Raye - posted on 07/27/2015

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I don't think that you would be forced to file for child support. That is usually at your discretion (unless you are getting government assistance, then they usually want you to file). If you decide to open this can of worms with his family, don't expect to have them welcome your daughter with open arms. Their response could go a number of different directions. They will wonder why you've waited until now to bring this forward, and they might think you have ulterior motives. If the father's parents confront him about it, that may cause issues in his marriage. There's a lot to consider before you decide to do something like that. I wouldn't say that you shouldn't try to add love into your daughter's life, but just brace yourself in case it's negativity instead.

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