Should I drop the child support case?

Jennifer - posted on 07/13/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My ex left me when I was 4 months pregnant. After our daughter was born I filed for child support. I went to the meeting in December that he was supposed to be at too (and of course wasn't) and I just got a letter last week saying that they're not going to search for him actively anymore. I called them and they said that without any information as to where he's living they won't be able to serve him papers. They said they would still search for him, but it won't be actively like they have been doing. We still talk and he won't say he doesn't want anything to do with her because he doesn't think she's his daughter. He's seen her twice and didn't even acknowledge that she existed. His sister and I are friends, but she won't give me any information on where him and his new girlfriend are staying. I'm thinking about just dropping the child support case and moving on with my life. All thoughts and suggestions are appreciated. :)

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Mallory - posted on 07/13/2009

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oh and remember, its better one awesome mother alone, than a mother trying to make excuses for her dad all the time. If he's not in her life at all, then its all she will ever know, so its definitely not as bad as a man who doesn't show up at her birthday, forgets to pick her up at school, bringing other girls around and making her feel like an obligation and inconvenience. BE STRONG and help her to be. You will find a man that wants to take care of you and her, just don't go looking...he will find you this time. Meanwhile, make sure she spends time with male figures in your life who have been inspirational...your dad?? If she has a good Grandpa, then at least she can see a man in a good light through him. Again, good luck. All will be well...get rid of him.

Mallory - posted on 07/13/2009

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There is help from the government without child support. Ask someone at your local DHS office to fill out a Claim for Good Cause form. I'm in the process right now for my 4 month old daughter. I don't want an unworthy father in her life or in mine. Our daughters need good responsible men to look up to, not dead beats. Good luck to you.

Jennifer - posted on 07/13/2009

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I've thought about that. I don't want her to ask me one day where her daddy is, even though she will eventually. But, at the same time, he goes from job to job, girlfriend to girlfriend, and house to house. There is no stability in his life. I've even confronted him about it and he doesn't seem to care. I live in Texas and they told me that he would have visitation, but first he had to follow a schedule. It's kinda weird but if he didn't come to the first two visits he wouldn't be able to take her until she was 3. I've given him the opportunity to be in her life, and the offer still stands. But I don't want him to be a dad whenever he feels like it. I don't think it's healthy for him to be coming and going from her life like that.

Tracy - posted on 07/13/2009

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He is responsible for providing for his child whether or not he wants to acknowledge this child or not. But keep in mind that if he pays child support or is court ordered to depending on which state you live in he has the right to visitation. If i would have known that then I would not have requested child support. Also are you prepared to answer questions from your child about why the father is not in their life?

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