Single MOM really confused abut wht do wit her babydaddy!!

Cheyenne - posted on 01/22/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Well im 19yrs old and I have an 8mnth old baby boy!! My son father has been in n outta both our lifes off n on!! I been in an on n off relationship with him goin on 2 yrs April 2011..But we alway argue n fight...He will come stay with me n it only last about a 2 to 3 weeks of getting along then we will get into it or i will confront him abut all the chicks hes talkin to bc he says he dont talk to any but i see it on his ipod bc i have wireless internet then he gets mad n leaves! Well i use to call him a worthless bc if we got into it he wouldnt watch our son while i worked...then he said its bc i was callin him worthless so this last time i quit n wen we got into it i didnt call him anythin...i just let him run his mouth n he left then he didnt watch our son thursday or friday...nor went to his son surgury appt....i ask if he goin to go to his surgury he like no n told me he was not goin to watch our son anymore!! so its like even if i dont call him names he still wont watch our son...but why im writin to get ppl suggestion is bc i neva had him sign my sign birth certificate bc wen he was goin to he decided to get mad at my n rip the paper up so i neva went bak to the court house n got one but we have dna test sayin he is the father...Well this last time wen we got into it be4 he blocked me on FB i told him if he culdnt help wit our son he culd sign ova rites bc he has no job lives with his brother n pays nothin nor dont have a car...But he told me he wasnt signin shit ova n i said it take a judge to tell u that u have to watch ur son to watch him n he wont say anythin...Then he goes well im not on his birth certificate i dont have any rites to him anyways so wats the point of court...N i told him bc i want on paper sayin i have full custody or sayin u have to pay child support n take ur son every other weekend...But i want full custody bc i dont want my son raised around him bc i know how he acts wit me n if he gets another gf he will treat her the same n i dont want my son around that...am i in the wrong for takin him to court for full custody since he isnt on the birth certificate???

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Cheyenne - posted on 01/23/2011

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Kelly: oh wow!! yeah im thinkin my best bet would just be he dont want to talk to me so just not worry abut takin him to court for child support or full custody...Then wen he decides he missin his son he will decide to take me to court!! he emailed me tonite sayin me threatin him isnt gunna make things easier on him...im not sure wht im threatin him with besides tellin him if he cant be civil ill take him to court..i wrote bak n ask what he was talkin abut threatin him bc me threatin him with court not gunna make things easier on me idk how things are easy now bc ur not watchin ur son wen i work so im payin for a babysitta...so nothin else could get harder bc thats all u done for me was watch him wen i workd lol..

Cheyenne - posted on 01/23/2011

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well i just know in our state if u sign the birthcerificate u have to pay child support inles u do dna n the child comes out not to be urs....yeah the only thing we have is dna test he has not rights to our child...n he wont take him...so im tryin to decide if i just wanna say fuk court n not take him n not let him see our son til he decides to message me or take me to court...

Leah - posted on 01/22/2011

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My baby daddy is the same way. In my state he has not custody or visitation rights unless I say it is ok, and it's for the fact we were never married and he hasnt taken me to court. Before you go to court I would check the law for your state, and see what is says. My baby daddy has his name on the birth certificate, but that doesnt make him a father.

Kelly - posted on 01/22/2011

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ok, if he's not on the birth certificate, and he hasn't asked for any rights, then @ least in my state, he has none. actually in my state, even if he's on the bc & paying support but has asked for no rights he has none until he asks the court for a visitation order. now, most of the time, when they establish support, they establish visitation rights - unless you have a substantial amnt of proof that he is unfit, in most states he will get visitation rights, and i mean SUBSTANTIAL - my ex abused me & 2 of my children that are not his, and he was still awarded visitation with his but only after he asked for it which was 9 yrs later!!!!!! not sure where your dna test was thru but if it was thru support agency, if you want support just call them and see what ya need to do to get the ball rolling, but be prepared for a visitation hearing to go along with it. the only reason mine didn't get one before those 9 yrs is because he was going to prison for domestic violence so his support was established but not visitation. if you ever go for any type of public assistance, they will go for support on your behalf, if you don't agree then they'll cut off support, at least in my state. Good luck - and again, you can get full custody, but he still may get some type of visitation, i have full custody for all my children, and they all have visitation with dads - i think what your after is a severing of visitation rights, and it is extremely difficult to get unfortunately, i was literally told he'll have to hurt my kids first because i can't prove he'd hurt them, even tho i had police incident reports he claims he's a changed man and they gave him the benefit of the doubt =

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