SUPERWOMAN

User - posted on 02/13/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

8

12

0

I have the single mom superwoman complex!! Because I do everything on my own it is difficult for me to accept help or let people know when things are going well. My friends complain cause they hear about stuff during crisis mode or after the fact. One friend says that being a single parent can make a person over independent. Is anyone else like this or am I on my own? If you are like me or have been like me, send some advice.

8 Comments

View replies by

User - posted on 02/18/2009

8

12

0

Nicola-



I am working on realizing that I don't have to do it on my own.  As I look around I see that my peers don't wait they ask for what they want.  I do it in every other part of my life, I should do it in this on too.

Nicola - posted on 02/17/2009

9

23

1

i know that feelign very very well when I had my Luke 4 years ago i felt that if i needed help even from my mother that i was failing as a mum and that my son would be better off with someone who could do thigns easily has taken me a while but i ave realised that the washign can wait a day or no ones gonna judge me if i dont hit deadlines or remember the correct thigns at the supermarket! with my daughter i am takign it a bit easier and realiseing just cos ur a single mum doesnt mean ur own ur own !! lol

Tammy - posted on 02/17/2009

157

5

18

My prob is very simiar.  I would love help but would never think of asking for it and when people ask I feel obligated to say everything is great.  I wish people would just do something instead of asking.  It's hard to say refuse when someone shows up with a casserole or just says "you picked up my child last time, I'll do it this time."  I don't want to appear weak but there are times when people are asking "how do you do it" or praise me for being a "SuperMom" I just want to scream.  Guess we all just have to learn to set limits but the guilt can sometimes overwhelm us.

Latavia - posted on 02/13/2009

47

169

8

I'm just like the rest of you guys. I always kept things that were going on with me to myself, but when i had my son 8 years ago it got worse. My mind is always running and I'm always pushing myself to do more. Situations that have happened in my life have made me this way. My sisters are always getting on my case about opening up or not being afraid to ask them for anything. I am proud to have the single mom, superwoman complex. LOL!

Yavira - posted on 02/13/2009

1

0

0

I can really relate because ever since my son was born i would try to never let anyoen know of the crisis' or help i really needed.  But i have learned as Sarah has said to let those...especially those who do offer the help, take them on the offer.  You soul will feel much better once you let those around you know what they can do to relieve you of some of those pressures.  Try and practice asking for minor help and you will learn and make you feel better.  I still struggle to ask for help but of course it takes time.  God luck!

Sarah - posted on 02/13/2009

7

1

1

I'm right there with you guys. I've always tended toward the 'do it yourself' attitude but have noticed it has gotten worse since I've been a mom. I just always felt like asking for help was a weakness and I hate to put other people out. I know realize that not asking for help is actually the weakness. If I allow other people to help me, that usually means I have more one on one with my little boy. Especially when people offer their help, which my friends tend to do before I need to ask, because they all know how hard it is for me. Letting someone else help you, doesn't mean you aren't capable of doing it alone. Remember the old saying, it takes a village to raise a child, we in society now are so secular, especially single parents. It took me a long time to realize this, actually it is still something I struggle with. My advice, if people offer, take them up on it. They wouldn't offer if they didn't love you and mean it!!

Demetria - posted on 02/13/2009

62

23

9

Sorry no advice here cause im just like you. I do it all and then some. I work, go to school, carpool the kids ( my son and his friends) to and from karate practice, chairwoman of the PTO, and host movie night every other Friday. There are times when i cant fulfill all my duties because of gas money being low and i wont ask for help from the other parents. IDK why i am like that cause i know if i had help things would be a lot easier. I'll pray for us!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms