what do i do when my 7 year daughter wont listen and i have tryed everthing

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Dena - posted on 03/27/2009

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Boy do I relate.  I created a reward system for when my, now 5 year old, would listen.   She was so used to be scolded when she didn't listen or misbehaved that she almost became immune to it.  My older daughter said, "Mommy, why don't we use the star chart you bought with Emma?"  Wow!  Out of the mouths of babes, pearls of wisdom!



The star chart has made a huge difference.  I tried to locate the one I bought online for you but what I found was this article:  http://www.squidoo.com/starchartsforkids.



I hope this helps.



 



In love and service,



 



Dena The Doula



 

Neely - posted on 03/26/2009

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Have you sought a councilor for her?  My 6 year old sees one and the advice she gives helps me and the rest of my family.  There is a disorder that they call Oppositional Defiance Disorder, which my daughter has symptoms of.  She completely ignores me when I talk, refuses to do anything I ask her to do, etc etc there is behavior modification that works.  Try by giving her so many "pieces of tape" (or chances) a day and at the end of the day if she still has the tape (or chances) then she gets a special reward like you read her a book before bed, or one tv show or whatever really interests her.  Hope this is helpful for you, good luck, know that you are not alone!





Marisa - posted on 03/26/2009

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Hello Laurie,



Have you tried putting her in time-out? If not, try designating a certain place in your house with a chair for her to go in every time she does something she shouldn't be doing. Once you put her there, leave her there for 7 minutes. The rule is to leave a child in time out for 1 minute for every year of her age. Once you put her there, be sure she knows why she's being put there and that during her sit in time-out, she can not do anything but sit there for the time alotted. such as, back-talking, playing, crying and whining etc... if she does, then time starts all over again and this will happen every single time you have to get on to her while she is in time-out.

You may be thinking that it may take to long but trust me...it does work. I have always done this with my daughter since she was about 31/2 yrs old and even to this day...she's ten now. Of course, it took a tremendous amount of patience and it was time consuming in the beginning but she got used to it when she did something she wasn't supposed to. Now, I also ground her depending on what the problem is...but I find that when she thinks she's going to back-talk me or roll her eyes or something of that nature, I send her to time-out and I tell you what, she knows to stay there for ten minutes without a peep or it will start over again until she stops acting out.



I hope this helps.

Good Luck,



Marisa

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