Who knows about child support?

Joy - posted on 01/02/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My baby is due next month. I have always taken pride in being able to supprt myself. With a baby come new challenges, child care, increase in health insurance, will eventually need to move into a bigger place. The father of my child has chosen not to be involved, in fact we have talked about adoption, although I hate to give her up simply beause of money. The father has told me that he would pay child support. He has a good job. It was my understanding that they HAD to pay and in reading I find many women who say they are not recieving help from the father. Does anyone know what steps I should take to ensure that he will own up to his responisbilty to our child?

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Brittney - posted on 02/21/2015

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Joan, you have posted about having a baby simply so you can get money and not have to get off your lazy ass and work. Now you're telling someone to be respectful? You're crazy.

Joan - posted on 02/17/2015

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Why don't you work directly with him instead of plotting behind his back on a message board of women who are doing the same thing. #respect.

Deanna - posted on 01/03/2009

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Joy, I don't know where you are from but let me tell you about what I went through and maybe it can be helpful. Before my daughter was born sperm donor had the audacity to claim she wasn't his (how typical) I, therefore, took matters into my own hands and went to my local (I lived in Florida at the time) child support enforcement office (They have these in Florida and may have them in other states too.. I don't know). From there I filled out all the paperwork and waited. Child Support Enforcement served sperm donor papers and he was to report for DNA testing. Course, it took three tries and bunch of excuses before before he took the test. After the DNA test then it was back to court to get child support.... Went to court with DNA test in hand (which by the way was 99.9% that he WAS/IS her "dad" and from there it was ordered that he pay support. I also got back child support. Child support enforcement took a while cause sperm donor had to move back home to Illinois and get a job. Sperm donor was in serious jeopardy of losing his driver's license since he hadn't paid his support. I just started receiving child support in Dec. 2008



As far as costs, I did it so that it didn't cost me a dime.... Sperm donor owes the State of Florida and the Department of Revenue (DOR) so much money that it's not even funny. I know he owes for the DNA test (not sure of the actual cost.. I would have had to pay for the test had he not been the "father") and he owes DOR $444 for prosecuting the case.. He also owes the Gadsen County sheriff's office $20 for serving him papers. It was all at his expense. Of course, if he had just beleived me he could have saved himself so much time, energy and trouble.



I don't know how helpful that is to you but try local services first. You never know who out there can help you.

Venetia - posted on 01/02/2009

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My first advice, talk to a lawyer. He would be the first person who could give you more information. Then check with your state's child support system. Either one he will need to provide proof of his income.

My child support is court ordered and my ex being in the military it gets paid no matter what. I didn't have to go to court. Often times the lawyers will handle everything if you get a good lawyer.

Stephanie - posted on 01/02/2009

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If you are in California you can go to the social sefvice offices and they can help you begin a case for free.

Becky - posted on 01/02/2009

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Just to add on to my previous post...to be honest (with what I've experienced), the reason why I don't budget child support is because it's not always consistent. The father has a job where he can declare his own hours (meaning he can work as little as he wants), which means I don't receive the entire weekly amount that I should be. But, that just means that after my baby turns 18, the father will still have to pay until he's all caught up.

Becky - posted on 01/02/2009

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I highly recommend getting a lawyer. It is expensive, but worth it. You don't have to worry about the father finding loopholes....and you don't have to worry about the stresses. I have always taken pride in being able to support myself and my baby girl, that's why I don't budget child support into my monthly earnings. Caitlin is right, if the father doesn't pay, he goes to jail.

Caitlin - posted on 01/02/2009

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yeah it was expensive for me too. but in the end i thought the pay out would be worth it. i know you can go through the state ..and that helps alot what state do you live in?..in my state we have husky its health care for kids and adults in most cases its free..and then there is money help from the state and the babys fathers will have to pay it back . but your best bet is to go through your state office its there to help single moms and theyll set you up !

Joy - posted on 01/02/2009

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Is it expensive to go through the court ordeal? Can you start getting the money relatively soon? thanks for the reply!

Caitlin - posted on 01/02/2009

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hi, i just went through a divorce and yes they have to pay they have no other choice but jail..you need to go to a lawyer or your local state office..they will then set up a court date in family court..you will have to fill out a finacial form showing how much your living expenses cost..then they will garnish the money from his paycheck and there you go theres your child support..hope it helps!

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