why do teenagers upset their mums, even though they know theyre hurting their parent???

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Angie - posted on 03/27/2009

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Hi there, my eldest daughter is 12 and i am going through this at the  min with my daughter, in their eyes they see us as over dramatic, care free women. they are of innocence and they  dont see the world as we see it, they see it as big and exciting and safe place but us parents know the truth and they wont listen to us. I get accused of been nasty, because i wont give my daughter money when she thinks it grows on trees and i am telling her that i literally have only got enougth to pay the bills, she sees me as been tight as she calls it because i want her in at a decent hour because its late and she has school teh next morning or i have work and thi sgoes on and on., many a time i have been crying, and my eldest daughter has picked up on this but rather than ask me how i am she will see this as my weak point and go on to see how far she can push me, answer to your question i really dont know why they do this, i just think iits because they look at life through rose tinted  windows and think we rae their enemies rather than the loving parents  we deserve to be known as, Basically we need to not take it to heart, hormones have a lot to do with it, puberty and of corse eduction is very stressful for most kids, pressures that youngsters are under is tremendous, all we can really do  is try and support our kids and not go to their leverl ike shouting and getting agitated  etc, it really is  an hard job is being a parent, in the end we will feel rewarded xx

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They don't really comprehend how it hurts you, they know because they're told but other than that they aren't feeling any compassion. Being a teen is reverting back to toddlerhood you are the center of the world and the only one with feelings. Now's the time to bring back the old no-tolerance I'm the mom bit. To keep your sanity just keep reminding yourself, this too shall pass and keep up on your self-care. best of luck :)

Kimberley - posted on 03/26/2009

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Quoting Kimberley:

The simple and straight answer is YES. And i think its part of the adolecent stage for children to put their parents through hell and back. I don't know bout you, but wen i was bout 15 i was a rebel without a cause. I knew it was hurting my mum but i kept at it, cos i thort i was invincible. Eventually i snapped out of it and me and my mum a best friends. I think if you can talk openly with your children about anything it makes it easier on both parts. Hopefully things settle down for you soon



 





i have a 16yr old son who thnks hez invincable toooo, no matter wot i tell him he NEVER listens to me & it causes sooo many rows in the house wiv my dad, son & me.... he knows hez hurting me but carries on despite evryfing.... then wen he cums in later he apologises 2 me n cuddles me(arselicking) & he sez "im sorry mum 4 hurting you"... the next day is the same...



wen i woz that age i must admit i played up n took the P, but not anyfing like wot my son does tho... maybe girls r diff lol.....



THANX 4 the reply  xxx

Kimberley - posted on 03/26/2009

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The simple and straight answer is YES. And i think its part of the adolecent stage for children to put their parents through hell and back. I don't know bout you, but wen i was bout 15 i was a rebel without a cause. I knew it was hurting my mum but i kept at it, cos i thort i was invincible. Eventually i snapped out of it and me and my mum a best friends. I think if you can talk openly with your children about anything it makes it easier on both parts. Hopefully things settle down for you soon.

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