Why do we get pregnant by such idiots in the first place?

Tammy - posted on 04/01/2009 ( 50 moms have responded )

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Really wondering why it is that I can't see the guy is an ass until I'm knocked up? Anyone else in the same situation?

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Emma - posted on 04/18/2009

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Its all fun and games until they knock you up then its somehow your fault that his member got you pregnant. I mean these guys think there men? You know what it takes a real man to step up and deal with his responsiblities instead of acting like a selfish prat! My sons "dad" broke up with me when i was 6 months gone. He and i quote said "I love you but not enough to have a kid with you" uhm hello its a bit late for that! He then lied about having cancer, threatened suicide, did drugs & told me it was my fault, then lied about moving to America. Oh and cheated on me. I mean seriously if i had known he was that much of a complete and utter tosser i wouldn't of touched him with a barch pole!

Lisa - posted on 04/17/2009

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most men are idiots. so theres not much to chose from. all the good ones are taken. and the single nice ones are boring or weird....men, cant live with or without them.

Coretta - posted on 04/27/2009

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My little girl' father hasn't seen her since she was one year old. Lemme tell ya.... She's a beautiful, well adjusted, fun loving smart little girl. It'shis loss. I take ALL the credit for what a wonderful little girl she is. All I have to say to him is...."Thanks for the sperm"!

Wendy - posted on 04/15/2009

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Women have this unexplainable attraction to well asses.We want to rescue the troubled soul.And that's how we ended up with the asses that are ruining our lives.O.k maybe not ruining,but interfearing

Muriel - posted on 04/10/2009

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Quoting Monica:

This is a good question. I was with my ex for 5 years and we had been engaged for a year and a half of that. I had been raped in january of 06 and found out I was pregnant in March and my ex left me in april. We had a paternity test to be sure the baby was his and it was. He stuck around for the first 6 months popping in an out for about an hour at a time every couple of weeks. When my sone was 6 months old he dropped off the face of the earth. I havent heard from him since and my son is almost 2 1/2 years old. What is sad is now he is dating someone old enough to be my mother and claiming her kids and grand kids while his own lives 5 minutes from him and he has nothing to do with him. I fully understand the why cant i see he is an idiot until i'm pregnant thing. Ohh and after I found out I was pregnant I asked him if the baby wasent his and was from the rape if I could just tell people it was his so I didnt have to explain my person life to everyone and he was NO!!! I dont want people thinking I got you pregnant and left you. How sweet isnt he


He's a loser! Your son is not missing anything. Who wants a male role model like that? Gross. You are so strong and ur son will realize that. xo

50 Comments

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Monique - posted on 04/29/2009

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I think we are just to blind to see all the bad in these kind of men. Three years and and look at me now. Pregnant and single, his with another women.

Most of the time I hate myself for just falling for him. I dont think I'll ever forget myself for this

Gemma - posted on 04/29/2009

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i say this to myself most of the time i was with my babies dad for 5n alf years n things wo goin great we had talked about having a baby for a while but as soon as i found out i was pregnant he cheated on me, then made out as if it was my fault for putting presure on him. then he stuck around for a few month n then i never saw him i gave birth to my son n i didnt tell him i had my son as by the time i gave birth he was no longer there he ad moved on changed his number n moved in wi his girlfriend.

he found out a week after i ad him n still wasnt bovad about his son my son is now 10months n he has justed started seeing him again but my son doesnt now who he is n crys wens e sees him. but no1 knws wot they gunna b like untill u ave a baby

Christina - posted on 04/28/2009

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Im in the same boat at you. My boy is a little over 2 mouths and he will never see his dad. His dad told me that he will never want to see the thing, as he said it. Did not care if it was a boy or girl. Its sad but women take care of kid by themselfs everyday and the kids turn out sometimes better then if the dad was in the pic., I know that my boy will be. So good luck from one loving mother to another.

Stefanie - posted on 04/28/2009

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Well, I ended up doing it two times over and then had my exhusband walk out on my third.. My oldest is 7 and her bio has never laid eyes on her although he has a son 6 months younger that he has not missed a bit of his life.. My middle is 6 and her dad comes and goes in her life, and he has a 2 year son that he is always there for.. What is it, they can't take havin a daughter first? Then my son is 4 and has LGS and that is the one that I married and thougt that I had find "the one".. We had been friends for years.. I find out he was cheatin and could not deal with it.. I left him and took our son with me.. At the time, he was 1.. His bio came around off and on for about 6 months, but when he was asked to help with day care bill he said "i have more important things for my money to go to" and has not been seen or heard from again.. He sent his girlfriend to drop off christmas toys in september that were from the christmas before one time but that was it.. When my son started havin his problems, I tried to ask the family about heath issues and they acted like they cared, but has yet to call and check on him.. And he has been though a lot in that time frime and that has only been 6 months.. I ask myself that question daily..

Amanda - posted on 04/27/2009

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Quoting Tammy:

i plead temporary insanity!!!



lol well that works! can i plead brainwashing? i mean a year and a half is a bit long for temporary insanity but ... lol oh well they're jerks who don't don't deserve to have us let alone the wonderful children! and accutally they have a medical reason for why women stay in bad relationships now! a hormone we release called oxytocin! it's what bonds us to someone after having sex lol apperently women produce more! so we can all just plead under the influance of oxytocin!

Cece - posted on 04/27/2009

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Quoting Tammy:

Why do we get pregnant by such idiots in the first place?

Really wondering why it is that I can't see the guy is an ass until I'm knocked up? Anyone else in the same situation?


hi moms.Oh my thats the question I ask myself all the time.as in what the hell.Those idiots dont deserve us in the first place and we can do so much better.Thank God for opening our eyes and letting us see them for who they really are.They can all go and drown in the sea.Good work to all the single hard working moms.God loves us all and He will not give us a burden that we cannot carry.he says he will be the father to the Fatherless and the husband to the husbandless if theres such a word but he will always be our Strengh.Our kids are our gifts from Him.And he will definately punish those men who dont have brains.

Danita - posted on 04/25/2009

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I ask myself that same question all the time! All I can say is that he's given me the best thing in the world! I won't repeat what we've all echoed, but he irks me every single day and from my other family and friends in the same situation, he never goes away...lol. But my Bella is worth it...completely worth it. I just pray she got my smart-nerdy genes!!

Amanda - posted on 04/25/2009

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god i asked my self that question and i feel twice as stupid because i got knocked up by the same guy twice!! the second time i didn't find out till after i had kicked his sorry butt out! now he's saying the babies probebly not his and i said its fine if he thinks that. honestly the less he has to do with my kids the better! but i HATE when people say things like "well you picked him!" thanks cause THAT helps! the worst part is i knew my ex was a jerk before i got knocked up the second time... but i was so in love and stupid.. turns out i was the only one in love anyway... men are so wonderful soemtimes -.-'

Yolonder - posted on 04/25/2009

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Wolves in sheeps clothing!!! How were we to know that Wiley Coyote was inside of there.!!

Melissa - posted on 04/17/2009

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yes! we were on and off so many times i lost count. and tho everyone said to be careful i let him talk me into "starting our family" because "it was for real this time" and of course he was my first love and i was still very much in love with him. i even remember him calling me immature for believing "once a cheater, always a cheater" - turns out it's true tho!

Marie - posted on 04/17/2009

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Quoting Tammy:

Why do we get pregnant by such idiots in the first place?

Really wondering why it is that I can't see the guy is an ass until I'm knocked up? Anyone else in the same situation?



cuz they dont show their true colours til they fink they got u where they want u

Monica - posted on 04/14/2009

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I have asked myself the same question a thousand times!! All we can do is move forward & hopefully we learn from this.

Savannah - posted on 04/14/2009

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Quoting Lara:

Well my daughter is nearly 8, and has never met her father on account of his not giving a damn. He was informed of th epregnancy at the very beginning and has proceeded to never get in contact since that day. I say good riddance!

Trouble is my taste has apparantly got no better, and i am now pregnant with an entirely different guy, but guess what? he is ignoring me, pretending that i don't exist - did I get pregnant by myself?? I don't think so!
But the thing is, right up until the point when i told him that i'm pregnant, I had him pegged as a pretty good guy! Shows what a great judge of character I am doesnt it? lol


 



No worries hon, I'm in the same boat! I'm on #2 with a guy that I was in a long-term relationship with. We both had a child from a previous relationship, and I thought he was gonna be forever. Now, I don't exist and he denies paternity. (Although conception was during a wonderful point in our relationship)



I  sure feel like fool. But it's better to have found out about his heartless ways now, than later when your up to chin and he decides to bolt.

Kristin - posted on 04/14/2009

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I too got pregnant by an idiot. He has a very unstable lifestyle and cannot keep a job. He says he wants to be in my daughters life but has done nothing to better his situation or to even try to help out with her. He has yet to meet her because I refuse to allow him in her life unless he changes how he lives, what he does, and unless he gets a job he can keep. He says I am not allowing him to help but I have told him repeatedly what he needs to do in order to be in her life. He just chooses to do nothing. I am torn as to if I should allow him to see her or not but I think that I am making the right choice. I never thought that this was the situation I would end up in but I have come to accept it. I just hope one day he does what it takes so that he can be apart of her life.

Cheryl - posted on 04/13/2009

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I understand! I was four month's into a very PLANNED pregnacy when he said after a fight, " Well I knew you were trying to get pregnant but I was really done!" He had 2 older children that lived with us. Thing was we talked about it EVERYDAY for a year before we got pregnant. Took me almost 2 year's to relize what a lier he was!! I felt like an idot for not leaving him when he told me that. He has since lost custody of both his other children to their mom and hasn't had ajob in 9 month's!

Cheryl - posted on 04/13/2009

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I understand! I was four month's into a very PLANNED pregnacy when he said after a fight, " Well I knew you were trying to get pregnant but I was really done!" He had 2 older children that lived with us. Thing was we talked about it EVERYDAY for a year before we got pregnant. Took me almost 2 year's to relize what a lier he was!! I felt like an idot for not leaving him when he told me that. He has since lost custody of both his other children to their mom and hasn't had ajob in 9 month's!

Pat - posted on 04/13/2009

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hi tammy Ive asked the same thing myself,I left my ex as I had enough,Ive got a son who is 10 years,after 4 months I let him see our son,untill one day he said his puppy was more inportant than our son,I met someone else and he didnt like it but offer him to see our son,and he didnt so I just didnt let him see our son,until he started to take me to court to see our son,he still upset our son and still is a ass to,if you ever want to talk either here or on facebook pat x

Elizabeth - posted on 04/13/2009

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hiya, i got two boys and a girl due in 4days, my x went off after the frist was born, sleeping around and i took him back when he put the tears and all the charm on, after our second i kicked him out cos i found drugs in the house and he was seing someone because i wouldnt sleep with him as he had no respect for the children or i and was out thursday night till sunday, with out a word, i fall for it all again when he returned, he was seeing a new gf he said they were over i let him back in and after a while let him move back in, i fall preganant with this one,( girl) adnhe moved out right back to her, hes bee nseeing her since 2007 and she knew about the children and i. , he told me he didnt want a family with me any more , and they were haing a baby, so now he has gone for good but has walked out on his two boys and his little girl he never wants to see, yet he wants to stick with it and his new family to be, due only a few weeks after our little girl, what id like to know is what the children have done for him to not want to know them, they r the best boys in the world and he is missing out on every little thing they do, they are 4 and 3 and growing and changing every day, they are happy and do not go with out anything, but he doesnt provide a penny for them, nor a penny for any thing for his little girl due in 4 days, im hoping he stays way for ever i cant stop the way the way the boys feel about him, the oldest doesnt want top know him, but i can stop my little girl getting hurt by him, hes done the damage he is going to do and i will be strong for my children and he wont be coming back in to our lifes again, i just hope in a way he does stay with his gf and doesnt do what hes done to my children to hers,. good luck and keep ur head up.

Meaghan - posted on 04/13/2009

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Dear Lara
it has nothing to do with you.
the problem is entirely to do with men and their consequent lack of emotion. It sucks that you ended up with another guy who is crappy. Sometimes though you don't know though until responsibility knocks on the door. You are a strong woman you are raising an incredible 8 year old i am sure, and the baby you are carrying now will be just as lucky to have you as a mom. Dont be hard on yourself i think the majority of men are deuche bags. id say 80 percent and thats me being generous.Hang in there and dont be mean to you , its not your fault the guy is a tool.
love and support from a fellow single mom
meag

Lara - posted on 04/13/2009

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Well my daughter is nearly 8, and has never met her father on account of his not giving a damn. He was informed of th epregnancy at the very beginning and has proceeded to never get in contact since that day. I say good riddance!



Trouble is my taste has apparantly got no better, and i am now pregnant with an entirely different guy, but guess what? he is ignoring me, pretending that i don't exist - did I get pregnant by myself?? I don't think so!

But the thing is, right up until the point when i told him that i'm pregnant, I had him pegged as a pretty good guy! Shows what a great judge of character I am doesnt it? lol

Mila - posted on 04/12/2009

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Any GUYS out there reading this that would like to offer some insight? And "I dunno…" doesn't count as insight!

Mila - posted on 04/12/2009

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Over here! My daughter's father is a pathological liar, amongst other things. The most recent line of b.s. was that the house he was renting was up for sale, and they were putting the cash in escrow (or something like that). I found out from the landlord that they got evicted (not moved voluntarily) because they hadn't paid rent for 6 months. Why is this an issue? Our daughter lives with him! Now that we know they're human turds, what can we do about it?

Meaghan - posted on 04/12/2009

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well unfortunately men take longer to grow up than women do. my sons father choose partying over us. and i gave him the choice his family or his teenage lifestyle, he choose his teenage lifestyle my son is over 4 and we havent seen him since noah was 5 months old. Being a single mom Sucks sometimes! its lonely and its hard. but can you imagine how much more miserable you would be if he was in your life still? to make you hopefully feel better about two years ago my sons father called to say he was going to get a tatoo of our sons name(idotic all he is, is a sperm donor) and he didnt know how to spell noah. so i am most likely better off without him, guys love the fun of making them but once responsibilty hits, it takes a strong man not to hit the road. take care girl it blows, but there is a reason as to why we were given the uterus, not the man.

Victoria - posted on 04/11/2009

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I was with my baby's daddy for 3 years when I got pregnant. One of which I was continually thinking about leaving. When I told him I was pregnant he seemed really excited, too excited even. Two days later he asked me if I was going to have an abortion and after telling him no, he continued to ask me up until I was almost half way into my pregnancy, saying that his female friend said I can still have an abortion up to 20 weeks into the pregnancy. I think I cried more during my pregnancy (for actual reasons, not just because I was hormonal) than I ever had in my whole life. We fought constantly, he always told me he wished I wasn't pregnant. He tried to intimidate and scare me and then apoligize later every time.

After my daughter was born, he payed little attention to us. He didn't do anything to help out around the house or with the baby. He smoked pot several times a day, drank more than usual, went out with friends, and hid in the room playing video games all day and night if he wasn't at work.

Now that we're broken up he won't leave me alone. I told him he needs to work on improving himself but he still tries to get back with me. He lies and is manipulative. He uses our daughter to talk to me. I take our daughter to see him 3 times a week and he pays more attention to me than he does to our daughter even though I repeatedly told him that visitation is for him to visit with his daughter, not with me. I know I can avoid that by leaving during visitation but honestly, I don't trust him and his parents alone with my daughter.

Wow, that was more than I thought. I just really needed to vent and your idiot comment inspired me. LOL.

Muriel - posted on 04/10/2009

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Quoting Kerri:



Quoting Tammy:

Why do we get pregnant by such idiots in the first place?

Really wondering why it is that I can't see the guy is an ass until I'm knocked up? Anyone else in the same situation?






My son will be 7 in August and he has never met his dad.  When he found out I was pregnant he wanted me to have an abortion.. I didn't and he tried for a bit but then he took off and the last time I saw his was when we were in court so I could get full custody.  He has called once...he told me he wanted to see his son...I agreed (STUPID) then the day before it was to happen he called me and told me he wasn't ready. My son was 5 at the time... He had 5 friggin years to get ready. I told him never to contact me again.  He hasn't.  I think that him being this way is a good thing because my son doesn't need someone like that in his life. He needs stability and a dad with brains.  Things like this happen for a reason...my son is happy and  is doing fine without him.






You can do it...its hard but well worth it...you don't need someone like that in your childs life.





You weren't being stupid Tammy. You were doing what a good hearted person would do and give someone the benefit of the doubt. In hopes that he did really want to be a part of his biological son. HIS LOSS. Your son is better off and looks like a handsome little man. =}

Muriel - posted on 04/10/2009

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i think we are all victims of FAKE and controlling men! it's amazing how our children are such beautiful creatures that were created by half a monster (our ex's) now I don't believe half of the crap that comes out of men's mouth. i think, I hope, we all eventually learn right?? look out for signs. 

Kirsty - posted on 04/09/2009

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Quoting Shelley:



I too, am a victim to the dead beat father syndrome....  The only thing that matters is the child.  Yes, the father is an ass, but your child is such a gift.  My son will be 5 in May and his father has never met him, but my son has totally changed my life.  It's hard being a single mom, but it very do-able!  Just look around for different resources available whether it's family or community support groups.  When you see your child grow up and use the lessons you've taught them, it is all worth it!!  My son is the sweetest, most caring, and smart guy I know (not that I'm biased at all... :^)  ) It is worth it even if the father doesn't want to be a part of it!!





I am in the same boat.



i was inlove with a man who put up 1 hell of an act, and i thought he was the 1-i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him-(he told his mother in-front of me that i was the woman for him and that we were going to get enagaged and start a proper life together, and his mum was beyond over-joyed)



its now 3yrs later and i have a 2yr old son-who he has never met, who he will never know, he is a deadbeat junkie, who comes off as this "clean stable father" to his other children and possibly the current gf (in which he has just had baby no.4 with and stuck around for) (he goes mnths at a time where he is off the drugs but wen the goin gets tough or he is bored sure enough back he goes to them)



but he is an arse!! sadly we dont always see the bad in ppl straight up-and even though i have my son and he is my world my everything-oh how i wish somedaysi had known what a f***n deadbeat his biological contributer really is...



but most of us as human beings only want to see the good in ppl and believe every1 deserves a fair go-its just a shame we dnt c how hurt we may become from it, but at the end of the day uve got urself a wonderful life-a child, and thats what matters...the deadbeat that helped create ur child doesnt.





Savannah - posted on 04/08/2009

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For the second time around now!



10 years ago, I was only 16 and pregnant with my first child. My son's father convinced me that we would be together forever and would move out together, yadayadayada. Naturally I believed him, being my highschool sweetheart, and continued with the pregnancy. In the meantime he was screwing around on me and feeding his cocaine addiction with the money that we were saving for the baby. Of course nobody told me this until after I moved in with him and our son was almost 2!  I booted him out and swore I would never have anymore kids unless I was married.



Today, I am separated from my bf of 9 months. He and I were an item from 5 years ago, that never worked out at the time. He has a 3yr old daughter from a previous relationship that he sees on weekends. He seeked me out last summer wanting to try and give "us" another chance. We were best friends instantly and together every day. Our kids loved each other; we were a modern day Brady Bunch. I broke up with him in February after almost 2 months of feeling like I meant nothing to him anymore. 3 weeks later I discovered I was about 3 months pregnant! I was told by him to either "get rid of it, or never speak to me or my family again". I have been on birth control for 10 years so here's good proof that accidents DO happen. According to my ex though, "I planned this whole thing" and "have trapped him". Right.



I'm now almost 5 months pregnant and I haven't spoken to him but to tell him that I wasn't having an abortion and to have my ear bleed from the profanity he screamed at me from his end of the telephone. 

Casey - posted on 04/08/2009

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yes.... my ex is a complete scumbag. i look at the person he is and everything he's done and i'm embarassed that i procreated with such a creature. but my beautiful baby boy is so worth it.

Michelle - posted on 04/08/2009

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AMEN to that. I am fortunate to only have one ass to be speaking of but it took me 4 pregnacies to figure it out!! We are currently in the middle of a divorce and

his ass is getting bigger by the day!!! Not sure why this happens do know that it will never happen again. :) It really has taken me a good part of 17 years to figure it out but I thank GOD EVERY DAY that I did figure it out!!! I could go on for days ....

Tammy - posted on 04/08/2009

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I know I have absolutely awsome kids and I wouldn't change anything.  I just wonder why I accept horrible treatment but when I have a child I want out of the relationship because it's not good for my children.  None of my pregnancies was planned BC for the first 3 and BC plus condomes for last two, but why was I in relationships with such losers in the first place.  Why do I demand better for my children but accept the unacceptable myself?????

Shereese - posted on 04/08/2009

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I keep blaming myself for my situtation. You see, I slept with a married man for over 8 years and got pregnant at 32. Being as though it was my first pregnancy and after being told I'd never conceive, I decided to keep the baby. My baby's father begged me to abort, but my heart wouldn't allow it. Now my daughter is 9 months and has never and probably will never know her dad. I understand he's married and he's afraid he will loose his wife if she was to find out about my daughter, however, HE was married, not me. Yet, I keep blaming myself for this and its hard. I want to apologize to his wife, but I know she wont forgive me, so I've asked God for his forgiveness and I'm moving on. And oh yeah, I've filed for child support and I'm in the process of filing for full custody just in case he has a change of heart years from now and wants to be in her life. Keep your heads up ladies and learn from my mistakes and never date and/or sleep with someone's man. Its not cool. I love my daughter and I'm glad I have her. She's changed my life and has forced me to grow up. I regret the day I'd have to explain to her why her dad isn't around. She has her stepdad though and thats good because he's a better person than her real dad is anyway. Keep God first ladies and things will work out.

Emma - posted on 04/08/2009

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That happened to me aswell. I was going out with a guy i really thought i loved. We planned our pregnancy and am now 12weeks pregnant. Since finding out we were pregnant early feb, everything went downhill between us. Later finding out he was a very controlling person. We had an argument one day and that was that, he just decided to walk away from me and the baby, he's since changed his mobile number and told me he doesnt want any part of the baby's life.

I was heartbroken by this, but just shows the intelligence and childish behaviour of any such man. I have come to terms with the fact im going to be doing it alone. But at first it frightened me so much.

I found out that the person i was with also had a baby from an ex partner which is now 2 years old, he's done the same with her, never bothered once.

Unfortunately i had my blinkers on and probably didnt want to see how bad this person was for me. But you got to think, he's done something right cos you are going to have a precious baby that will change your life forever. Just forget him, the right man for you will come in time. I believe that for myself. Its how i keep going. xxx

Shelley - posted on 04/07/2009

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I too, am a victim to the dead beat father syndrome....  The only thing that matters is the child.  Yes, the father is an ass, but your child is such a gift.  My son will be 5 in May and his father has never met him, but my son has totally changed my life.  It's hard being a single mom, but it very do-able!  Just look around for different resources available whether it's family or community support groups.  When you see your child grow up and use the lessons you've taught them, it is all worth it!!  My son is the sweetest, most caring, and smart guy I know (not that I'm biased at all... :^)  ) It is worth it even if the father doesn't want to be a part of it!!

Adrian - posted on 04/07/2009

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Well we all know how we get pregnant, but I was on bc so I was very much suprised that I was. I am dealing with his father being an ass, of course he said that he wanted to be there for the baby and I.....hmmm, where is he. I am used to doing it all on my own and its easier as it goes. My son has changed my way of thinking and I couldnt ask for anything more.

Kerri - posted on 04/05/2009

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Quoting Tammy:

Why do we get pregnant by such idiots in the first place?

Really wondering why it is that I can't see the guy is an ass until I'm knocked up? Anyone else in the same situation?



My son will be 7 in August and he has never met his dad.  When he found out I was pregnant he wanted me to have an abortion.. I didn't and he tried for a bit but then he took off and the last time I saw his was when we were in court so I could get full custody.  He has called once...he told me he wanted to see his son...I agreed (STUPID) then the day before it was to happen he called me and told me he wasn't ready. My son was 5 at the time... He had 5 friggin years to get ready. I told him never to contact me again.  He hasn't.  I think that him being this way is a good thing because my son doesn't need someone like that in his life. He needs stability and a dad with brains.  Things like this happen for a reason...my son is happy and  is doing fine without him.



You can do it...its hard but well worth it...you don't need someone like that in your childs life.

Jennifer - posted on 04/04/2009

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Who knows, maybe temporary insanity. I'm just glad I have my "little man" and his asshole of a "father" is nowhere to be seen! I wouldn't want that sort of thing rubbing of on my son! :D

Ruthie - posted on 04/04/2009

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Good question, but sadly, we will never know why we do dumb stuff. Well, except that we have 'lapses' in judgement. Its a medical issue, when jerks come around females seem to be taken by them, pharamones or somethng. But don't worry, and don't harp on it too much, look at the loving gift that you have to mold into a non-jerk and make sure that baby knows how much you love them

LaKysha - posted on 04/04/2009

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I am right there with you and I knew this guy for 5 years before! It seems like when we get pregnant we are not the only one's with a chemical imbalance. They go crazy and their true colors show, all I can say is grit your teeth and keep pushing forward. You will see your way through, I have....

Jennifer - posted on 04/02/2009

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That was a great question...lol I have asked myself that a million times over. The father to my oldest two children is actually a great guy and father, we just didn't seem to be anything more than friends, but the father to my youngest child is a complete ASS. He actually pretended to be someone he wasn't for close to 5 years then couldn't keep up the act. Once I found him out he turned into jeckle and hyde daily. Now I am fighting for sole custody of my child and he hasn't bothered to answer the original petition or even acknowledged the fact that he has suspended visitation with my child. Think he really cares? I don't. Good thing I left him when I did. Now, I am a full time student and spend all my extra time with my kiddos.



As far as dating or men in general fit in my life, well, I choose to focus on my education, children, and career goals. It's lonely, but less complicated. One day the right guy will come along, but for now I am not looking. Guess I am too just tired of being an ASS HOLE magnet.

[deleted account]

This is a good question. I was with my ex for 5 years and we had been engaged for a year and a half of that. I had been raped in january of 06 and found out I was pregnant in March and my ex left me in april. We had a paternity test to be sure the baby was his and it was. He stuck around for the first 6 months popping in an out for about an hour at a time every couple of weeks. When my sone was 6 months old he dropped off the face of the earth. I havent heard from him since and my son is almost 2 1/2 years old. What is sad is now he is dating someone old enough to be my mother and claiming her kids and grand kids while his own lives 5 minutes from him and he has nothing to do with him. I fully understand the why cant i see he is an idiot until i'm pregnant thing. Ohh and after I found out I was pregnant I asked him if the baby wasent his and was from the rape if I could just tell people it was his so I didnt have to explain my person life to everyone and he was NO!!! I dont want people thinking I got you pregnant and left you. How sweet isnt he

Shereese - posted on 04/02/2009

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You ended up getting pregnant by an idiot just like I did because you can never predict a person's actions nor can you predict the future. Thank God you see that he's an idiot. Some women never see it. And maybe your kid(s) is better off w/o the idiot.

Colleen - posted on 04/01/2009

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I have asked myself that same question over and over. I consider myself a fairly educated intelligent person. So HOW ON EARTH did I end up with my daughter's loser dad? (she's already 10 but my life has been very difficult because of the ass that I had her with so that question pops up in my mind quite frequently) My guess is that you had a hunch that he was an ass before you got pregnant but you're a woman and that's what women do. We think that people can or will change and be better and we try to stick it out and hope they get it together. If you're anything like me you're very trusting and you don't believe that you could be fooled by such a crooked person so you let your guard down and believe their lies and fall for whatever fake charm they may be emitting. I've been there and luckily I snapped out of it before I married the guy. I don't know what your situation is but I was young and inexperienced. I didn't have a whole lot of direction about demanding respect for myself and watching out for those kinds of people while I was growing up either so that didn't help. If I knew then what I know now I wouldn't have stood for his crap and I would have been smarter about my own actions. But you just have to take it as a learning lesson and keep both eyes wide open if you think you may be headed into a similar situation again. I have learned a lot from it and it is a hard life lesson but I know better now and you can bet I'll be instilling what I have learned in my daughter so that hopefully she won't have to be asking that same question. Good luck!

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