“15-year-old daughter wants to sleepover with boyfriend”

Claire - posted on 10/09/2010 ( 16 moms have responded )




A new piece titled “15-year-old daughter wants to sleepover with boyfriend” has just been posted on Inspired Parenting. www.inspiredparenting.co.za Comment on this on the forum .

Let friends and family know about us.


Emma - posted on 10/12/2010




Ok well there is sleeping over and sleeping over...
I slept at boyfriends houses when i was 16 in the spare room or with there door open, as boyfriends had slept at my house.
I think it all depends on what your talking about

Lady Heather - posted on 10/12/2010




We had guys "sleep over" at our place when we were teenagers, but they were usually just friends and they were always in the basement. My parents liked for our house to be the crash place because then they knew where we were, so they made a nice teen-friendly basement and let the kids stay over. To me that seems kind of normal. There were a couple of other homes that were gathering places where we were allowed to stay (parents were all friends) and nothing bad ever happened. It's not the same thing as boyfriend or girlfriend's sharing a teen's bed though. I don't think that's appropriate for underage kids at all.
I think my parents were probably more liberal than most though. We were allowed to bring home our significant others when we hit 19. I had my boyfriend over all the time starting at that age with my parents approval. They loved him and I ended up marrying him, so it all worked out. I imagine if they'd had a problem with him, they wouldn't have been so accommodating.

I don't really expect that my future teenagers will necessarily remain chaste because the fact is that most kids are doing things we wish they wouldn't. I'll give them birth control info and STD prevention info. But allowing them to share a bed seems like you're telling them to have sex. Not a good plan.

Christy - posted on 10/10/2010




Um, NO!? Is my answer. Who is parenting here, the 15 yr old or the mom? Really, to me this is a silly question. Boundaries, people!

This conversation has been closed to further comments


View replies by

Stephanie - posted on 05/27/2012




i had the same question as well my aunt has a 15 year old girl living with her family and she allows this girl who is under the ministry have her older bf sleep over this girl also goes out all the time getting drunk and she gets away with it all what do you guys think about this?

[deleted account]

I would say no. The first time I slept at my boyfriend's house (now husband) I was 17 years old. And even then my mam didn't actually agree to it I just did what I wanted to do. With my own children I think as long as they were over 16 the age of consent and were using birth control I'd be fine with it.

Veronique - posted on 10/12/2010




Nope! Not while she is living under my roof.......I remember those years very clearly, and never would i let a boy sleep over at my house nor would i let my daughter go to a sleep over where there will be boys. Not a good idea. I have no intentions of being a very young grand-mother + having to support that child and my daughter.......Now i'm far from those years but those rules are very clear in my mind and as soon as my daughters ( there 2 years and 11 months ) are old enough to understand i will let them know.

Erin - posted on 10/12/2010




no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, when I was 15 I knew what was on our minds. You would have to be crazy and very naive to think nothing would happen.

Deanna - posted on 10/11/2010




NO, NO, AND NO AGAIN!!! You are condoning premarital sex. And no matter how many times they tell you that they are not doing anything, then just tell them that you are gonna help keep it that way!!! Allowing them to sleep together is like saying go ahead and have sex too while you are at it!!!

User - posted on 10/11/2010




Claire, you can put my post on the other site if you would like, first name only please.

Bec - posted on 10/11/2010




i dont have a teenager yet, but i do remember being one!! I wouldnt let my daughter do that (if i had one...i have 3 boys...and i wouldnt let them either!!) but i do realise that some parents believe in giving them a safe environment to do it in...teenagers are teenagers and if they want to do something, they will find a way to do it, but i believe as parents that by saying no, we are still instilling our value system on them...whether they agree or not, and you can only hope that your words stay in their conscious to haunt them!! lol

Gretchen - posted on 10/11/2010




I would say no. That would just start a bad habit. Like Natasha said, you dont want her to come home and say shes preggo and knowing you could've prevented it. It would lead your daughter to think she can do whatever she wants I think. I know that if you tell her no that its gonna happon sooner or later anyways. But at 15 I would say no. Maybe a girl sleepover but with her boyfriend?? uh...no. Its totally up to you. This is only a place for advice.

Chloie - posted on 10/11/2010




yeah no no no no no no no no no no no no unless u wish to become a grandmother right now no no no no no :) i lost my virginity at 15 im 22 now n i regret it already just a heads up

Claire - posted on 10/10/2010




Thanks ladies. With your permission I"d liketo put your comments on my website with or without your name?


User - posted on 10/10/2010




When I was 15 my mom let my boyfriend move in. He was 18 at the time and his parents kicked him out of the house as a graduation gift. He was a good kid and my parents really liked him. I was a good kid myself- never in trouble and on the high honors in school. My parents even gave him their blessing to ask me to marry him when I was 15, but had to wait until I graduated high school. He left for the Navy at the end of the summer.

Now that I am a parent myself I wonder why my parents allowed this to happen...

Kimberly (Edwards) - posted on 10/09/2010




I would say no but 15 is a rebellious age that may trigger something and she might do something drastic! I say meet with the boys parents, if you don't know them well, and go from there! Set down ground rules, and make sure she knows the consequences for her actions! If you raised her right, which I'm sure you have, she knows to mind her P's and Q's when with her fella! Call often and at unusual times! Maybe go as far as making her watch a documentary on how tough teen moms have it!

Natasha - posted on 10/09/2010




I would say not a good idea! You dont want your daughter coming home and then a couple of weeks later find out she is pregnant. I would never let my daughter do that for respect of my rules and respect for her and her body and the respect of her boyfriend. You dont know what will happen over there. Day dates are ok and you can monitor them but sleepovers should not be a option for teenage love.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms