1st time stay at home mom needs help headed to the nut house

Mellisa - posted on 08/25/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am a 1st time stay at home and feel like am I going crazy. I mean it was a short trip after all I have medical issues and a move that forced me into my new job. I didn’t want this job it’s not that I don’t love my child but staying home all day is not my idea of a good time. I praise the women that choose this path it takes balls of steal let me tell you. I was a nanny of 21 or should I say for 21 I guess that is the right phrase but I could go home or had time off when the parents got home I can’t here this is my home and she is all ways here. HAHAHA!!



She is 4 and she went through the terrible 2’s, the horrible 3’s, and the formidable 4’s. I have told my husband if she goes through something when she turns 5 I quit and I am moving out. To which he of course asked if he could come and ask why I get to escape I told I thought of it 1st and he raised he as a baby so it was he his fault cause he let her do as she pleased no rules so I get the get out of jail free card. He has to fix it yeah it didn’t go far.



I moved 4 states away from my family or anyone I know. She is throwing massive fits, tells us what to do, what she is going or not going to do, she is sassy, hits and throws things I really don’t know what to do with her very thing I do fails. I feel like a failure. I am depressed and home sick. I am so lonely I have no friends her I can’t go out and meet anyone because she is so embarrassing. What to do??? Oh and just for fun I turning 31 and my husband and I almost got divorced so were trying to make it work. HELP S.O.S.

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Amanda - posted on 08/26/2012

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I'm 31 have a 4 yr old son and my daughter turns 3 in a few weeks. I moved from London UK to Australia, I have left behind all of my friends and family and my husband works stupid hours on shift work so is never home.

To top it off I have no one to help me out so I do it on my own. My son has ADHD and sleep apenea so it's all fun and games in my house believe me.

Does it stop me doing anything??? No. Do I let my kids control the dynamics of my house because it's the easiest thing to do when I've had enough??? No.

Is it easy?? No.

Do I wanna crawl up in a ball, ignore it and wish it would all go away or someone would help me out and give me a break??? Nearly every day



For starters you need to take a deep breath and regain control over your daughter. Set ground rules and let her know what is and isn't acceptable behaviour. If she misbehaves she needs to know there will be a consequence to her actions.

After that get out there and start living your life. Take your daughter to a playgroup, the park the zoo, where ever you can it really doesn't matter.



The only person stopping you going out and meeting people, having fun and enjoying your daughter is you.

Katherine - posted on 08/26/2012

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I felt like that with my first. I was so stressed all the time. It's just not worth it. Like Michelle said take her to play groups, try meetup.com they have plenty of them and dues are only about $12 a year. I love it and it helps me stay sane. I have a 6 year old and a 3.5 year old so I KNOW! Try to take some time for yourself too. At least once a week. Most of the meetups have a mom's night out.

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Michelle - posted on 08/26/2012

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I know exactly how you feel! I went threw this for a while and it's getting much better. When my son throws a huge fit i walk out of the room and ignore him and after a few days he stopped bc he knew it got him no where! When he throws something at me or in the house, whatever the item he has to put it in the trash (its usually a toy). It's the only thing that works for me, I've popped his butt, did time out, took away toys....nothing worked. But when i got the idea to just trash it he freaked and has now stopped for the most part. Every time he back talks me i warn him firmly but quietly that he will be going to bed early and will miss dessert or movie or whatever i come up with. When i start feeling like i'm gonna snap there's a gym him with a daycare that's very cheap and i can take him and drop his butt in the day care and work out all my frustrations! You've got to get her under control before i'd start doing play dates.... i tried that and it was sooo embarrassing and the other moms backed away from us! lol Try and see if your church has a childrens choir or something she can join to get her involved with other teachers and authority, that she has to respect and listen to!! That helped me alot. When it all fun and games and free time my son is out of control and i'm asking my self if it's to early for wine! lol Good luck to you and your daughter!

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