20 months old, and still not sleeping through the night, HELP!

Kathy - posted on 12/04/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My son is 20mths and still does not sleep through the night! I've tried letting him cry it out,(but man does this kid have stamina!!) he ends up waking up his older brother. I've tried sitting with him and telling him its still night time and time to sleep, which he settles for about 5-10 min, then is back up crying or yelling out for me, or for milk. I don't think he's hungry as I make sure he has a snack before bed to ensure he has a full tummy for night. Any suggestions would be very helpful!

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Suchitra - posted on 07/10/2013

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My daughter also doesn't sleep throughout the night since the time she's born. She is now 20 months old, still wakes up precisely after 3 hours of sleep and then would not sleep for another 3 hours. Then she'll get exhausted and would sleep again but only after 40 minutes, she'll be up again. Won't calm down without rocking her to sleep. As soon as I lay her down, she'll force me to lift her up again to be rocked. The cycle is repeated every hour. It's damn tiring. My pediatrician recommended 'Promethazine Hydrochloride', and when I give her that, she'll sleep throughout peacefully. But I can't give it to her on a daily basis. I have tried 'CIO' method too, but it's not working. How to mend her night time sleep routine? And if this can't be done, how long will it take her to be mature enough to sleep throughout? Any suggestions please.

Christina - posted on 12/07/2009

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He needs to learn to fall asleep or back to sleep on his own, without a sleep prop, such as breast or bottle feeding. I learned the hard way, as my one year old is just starting to sleep through the night now. I stopped nursing him or giving him a bottle, stopped picking him up. I just go in, don't say anything, and lay him back down and cover him up and walk out. He kept getting up and screaming. I would go in 5 mn later, then 10, then 15...just to reassure him I'm still there, but not give in. Sometimes he'd go to sleep soon after, but other times he would scream so long. In order not to cave in, I had to turn off the monitor, shut my door and even put headphones on. 2-3 nights later he stopped waking up 4 and 5 times a night. It's still not perfect. 2 nights ago he slept 12 hours and last night he cried twice. Just stick with it. I was never able to not give in when I could hear him scream, but once I put the headphones on and fell back to sleep, that helped me stick to it and I saw results. Also, get your other son an air purifier or white noise machine for his room so the baby doesn't wake him up until you get through this. Good luck!!

[deleted account]

i have no suggestions but my son does the same thing in a way he wakes up everynight atleast once an then up to four times a night he will wake up fussing an i will go give him his bink an dogg an cover him back up an then he goes back to sleep ive been told this is normal till 2 ish. if he wakes up crying then he might have had a bad dream, im not sure what little once have bad dreams about but i know they have them does he do this every night all night or does he sleep for awhile an then wake up crying

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Ashley - posted on 12/07/2009

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Its nice to see im not the only one having problems too, I kept telling myself he will sleep thru the night soon, soon and it doesnt happen! I get him to sleep thru the night for a week or two and then hes back to getting up during the night. Usually he will wake up once or twice and whine and carry on and when I go in the room and bring him in my bed and lay with him he knocks right now. I know its a bad habit and with my next child if I have anymore I will not let him or her sleep in my bed at any time! I put him in bed with me since day one and when id try to get him to sleep in his crib it was a fight. I dont really have any suggestions but from what I have read I am gonna try to get him to put himself to bed at night and when he does wake up during the night ill go in every 5-10 minutes just to let him know im there without picking him up. I hope this works for the both of us, good luck! (:

Renae - posted on 12/05/2009

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At this age whatever you do is going to take time and persistence.



The first thing I wonder is how does he go to sleep at the start of the night? With most kids who don't sleep through, once they learn to go to sleep on their own, they magically stop waking during the night. Noone knows exactly why, that's just how it works. Yes there are also kids who are helped to sleep who sleep through, but once a non-sleeper goes to sleep on their own, they sleep through the night.



Here are some options, you might have tried them but I'm wondering if maybe you needed to persist a little longer? I might be wrong.



Put him back to bed, say goodnight, leave the room. He will cry and get up again, put him back to bed, do not say anything, no cuddles, leave the room. Repeat, repeat, repeat. You could be at it for 3 hours the first couple of nights, after that the number of times you have to put him back in bed should drastically reduce until he sleeps through.



Let him cry. When you say he has some stamima, how long is he crying for? At absolute worse case scenario at his age it may take up to 2 hours the first couple of nights and the crying will decrease over the first week to little or nothing the second week. The best you can expect is about 30 minutes of crying.



Also Heather mentioned going in and settling him. In some cases that is not wise and only prolongs the crying and makes it worse for him, not better. For Heather's kids it obviously worked well. But for a lot of kids the fact that you came in and then left them again is very distressing and each time you leave they become more distressed. Some babies are best off being left to calm down on their own and having you come in makes it harder for them to wind down and go to sleep. You know your baby and need to decide what is best for him.

Erin - posted on 12/04/2009

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I know that a lot of people are going to disagree with me but, I would get a cup of milk ready before you put him to bed and as soon as he starts crying, take him the milk, let him fall asleep with it. I did that with my daughter at about that age and she only cried for the milk for about a month, after that she was fine without it. And at 3 years old, my daughter has seen the dentist 3 times with no cavities and no other issues.

Heather - posted on 12/04/2009

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If he's still on the bottle I would suggest taking it away. My daughters were waking up 3-5 times a night for a bottle. After a few nights of them crying it out they started sleeping through the night. Obviously you don't want to let him scream for hours on end. Try going in and soothing him for 5 minutes every 20 minutes. Do whatever he likes the most, rocking, rubbing their back, singing anything to soothe him even if he doesn't completely calm down. It takes a few long nights but it's worth it in the end. It doesn't hurt a baby to cry as long as you let them know you are still there to take care of them.

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