3 yr old boy

Jennifer - posted on 01/07/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Ok I have two teenage girls. And they both have their own bedrooms. And I also have a 3 yr old who will not stay out of their rooms and when he goes in there sometimes he messes with their stuff and I don't want their things broke. He flips out and throws violent tantrums when I tell him no so its just easier to let him play with his sisters but their getting aggravated cause they want time to themselves. Any advice on what to do?

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Jennifer - posted on 01/23/2014

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My one daughter has a door with a lock on it. but my other daughters bedroom is in the attic and my husband says theres no possible way to put a door on it.... Thanks for all the advice :)

Chet - posted on 01/09/2014

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I would start by helping your teenage daughters child proof their space and learn to redirect your three year old. Install some high shelves, and encourage your teens to put stuff out of sight and out of reach.

It's not reasonable to expect a three year old to be completely disinterested in two rooms of your house, rooms that are probably packed with interesting things. Also, just saying no is not generally the most effective way to deal with a toddler or a preschooler. Your daughters would do well to gain some skills in how a preschooler thinks and how to to manage their behaviour.

We have four kids. They youngest is four now. It's not beneficial for kids to be constantly told no when they are at a stage where they learn by copying and exploring. No is sometimes necessary, and tantrums are something that you need to deal with, but at the same time, I believe very strongly that it's better to remove temptations and to redirect young children than to present them with an environment that sets them up for problematic behaviour.

I do think it's reasonable to put locks on the doors. I agree that you need to be consistent and not give in to tantrums. Surely though your girls get a couple of hours of privacy after your three year old goes to bed. And hopefully your strategy with this can include your daughters gaining some sensitivity to why their rooms are appealing and how they redirect a small child.

Brenda - posted on 01/08/2014

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I completely understand what your saying! My two yr old son does the exact same thing! He's gotten to the point, that he goes and gets a play screw driver to try to undo the door. lol Any way I would do your best to keep him out. When he goes in when they are not home, immediately remove him. Only when he is wanted in their room, is when I would allow him to be there. It is tough, especially with a determined tot! Keep with it and like the other moms said, you will eventually train him that their room is off limits. But BE CONSISTANT!

Michelle - posted on 01/08/2014

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Be the parent and deal with the tantrums. He throws them because he knows he will get his own way. You have created the whole scenario, you need to put a stop to it.

Jodi - posted on 01/07/2014

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Stop taking the easy way out. I get that it is easier just to let him, but how do you expect to teach him if you just take the easy way out? Firstly, they need to have a way they can close their doors to him so he can't just help himself - they need their privacy. Secondly, you need to be teaching him that he can't just throw a tantrum and get his way (which is what you are doing now). Eventually, he will learn to give them their privacy and their space, but this is a difficult thing to do at 3, so in the meantime, you need to manage the situation, not rely on him to understand. Continue to reinforce the message and he eventually will.

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