4 week old needs held to sleep

Jennifer - posted on 03/13/2013 ( 11 moms have responded )

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Hello
I have a 4 week old that will only sleep if he's held during the day. I love spending time with him but I can't get much done around the house. He also goes through a super fussy period every evening where it's hard to comfort him. Anyone else have the same problem? If so when did the fussiness pass?

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Christina - posted on 03/17/2013

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True coliciness seems to just need to run it's course. However, sometimes a chiropractor can help A LOT! Also, warm rice bags laid on the belly seem to soothe very fussy babies. As far as pumping, I think I started pumping maybe once a day around 3 -4 weeks. If there was an opportunity where she maybe started to eat but then decided not to or fell asleep, I would pump since my body was wanting her to eat....those I think are the easiest times to get the most milk! I remember getting tons of milk, too, if I pumped on one side while she was eating on the other side. Not easy at first but it can be done :) Sounds strange but your body responds to pumping better if it thinks it's your baby....this is the reason why it can be hard to go back to work and pump productively. Your body knows the difference between baby and pump. So try to pump before, during or after your baby eats.

User - posted on 03/15/2013

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It sounds like my LO at that age. He slept for 2 hours at a time and got extremely fussy in late afternoon/early evening. I think he was feeling exhausted! The paediatrician said it sounded like reflux, as soon as he started treatment for reflux and I changed his formula to Karicare AR the lack of sleep stopped and he started sleeping 6-7 stretches over night and nap 3x/day by himself. It was bliss! Maybe get him checked for reflux? Good luck.

Rachel - posted on 03/15/2013

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Like the other poster said, get a wrap. You can wear the baby around. Babies that young want and need to be held. Enjoy it. The housework can wait.

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Jennifer - posted on 03/17/2013

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I have my pump ready to go. I'll see his it works.
You're right about colic having to run its course. It's so horrible. It makes me want our son to be 12 weeks already to see if it would be gone. Then I feel bad for wishing this time away:(

Jennifer - posted on 03/15/2013

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I have been putting him in the moby wrap and that does help. hes colicky so he has major meltdowns where nothing can soothe him. i would love for us to have a date night but I'm breastfeeding and he likes to eat every 2 hours. If any of you are breastfeeding when did you start pumping?

Christina - posted on 03/15/2013

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Yes, the wrap is way different than say, the baby bjorn. It only really works for the first few months but it feels like you are not even wearing anything. They are so close that it is not hard at all! It is tricky getting it on but once you have it figured out, I could wear my daughter for hours :) Also, take a date night if you have ANYONE willing to babysit! Don't feel guilty. Sometimes it rejuvenates you when times are trying with a screaming infant. You need a break sometimes and your baby can survive without you ;)

Jan - posted on 03/14/2013

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Christina is spot on! You need to hold your baby as much as possible, they NEED it. Buy yourself a wrap, they're more comfortable and better for baby than say, a normal baby carrier. With your baby nice and taught on you(I said taught not tight - for those of you who might jump at my comment and take it the wrong way), you'll be able to do more things than you can imagine and you'll have a happy and loved baby. I wore all three of my girls, and trust me, the more you wear your baby, the easier it gets :)

Jennifer - posted on 03/14/2013

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It was really bad last night. I pray it does start getting better at 6 weeks! I feel like my husband and I are only together during his fussy time since he works all day. We need some positive time together.

Elfrieda - posted on 03/14/2013

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The fussiness gets worse until 6 weeks, at which point it will start getting better.

Jennifer - posted on 03/13/2013

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Thanks for the advice. Since I am a first time mom I am doing the same thing you did. I always wonder if he's eating enough since I BF. we just got back from his 1 mo check up and he's gaining weight right how he should be. That's what I need is more encouraging things like that to happen.
I'm glad to know that other babies have a fussy period every night too. It is so tiring and a struggle to get through some nights. He was prescribed a new medication for acid reflux so we will see if that guves him any relief. Like you said it will get better.
I'm sure I will look back on this time and wish all he wanted to do is snuggle.

Christina - posted on 03/13/2013

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I know it can be very overwhelming to have a newborn. They are very needy and as much as you love the snuggle time, you look around and see a million things that could be done. Not to mention the sleep deprivation! :) But sometimes we need a little reminder of what newborns really need and what should be expected of their age. With my first child, I would get so crazy about things like "not sleeping at night yet", "eating too much or too little", "wants to be held all the time".....then I had my second child and laughed about how crazy I was with the first! Remind yourself of these things:

Newborns need to be held! Only 4 wks ago, your baby was in your belly 24/7 being snuggled by you. It's only natural that they still crave that. With my second daughter, I had a lot more to do, like taking care of my 2 year old. I bought a really great, comfortable wrap and wore her A LOT of the day! Especially when she was sleeping. They do eventually outgrow this and around 4 months is when babies sleep cycles naturally change and they start to be able to conform to a more normal routine. Most babies don't just automatically adjust to sleeping on their own. With consistency, they usually get it.

Babies at this age, up until 3-4 months, usually have a fussy time of day. My second daughter was the happiest, most chilled out baby, until 6pm came! She would cry for about 2 hours every night. This lasted a few weeks. It does get better :)

So hang in there! Enjoy the snuggle time....it passes quicker than you think. There is really no way to train a 4 wk old. Let them lead the way at this young age.

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