6 year old son wont talk to adults

Gemma - posted on 12/15/2015 ( 12 moms have responded )

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hi my 6 year old refuses to speak to adults ,his fine at home with me and his dad and brother and sister but he refuses to even speak to his grandparents ,he will talk in front of adults if other children are around and his playing but if an adult says something to him or asks him a question he will just ignore them or put his fingers in his mouth . if no other children are about and just adults and he needs my attention he will look at the other adults who are about and whisper to me what he wants

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Suwarato - posted on 10/26/2017

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does anyone in the family hit him? I was and still am like this as an adult by the way, I came from an abused home. If you or anyone in the family results to any form of violence as a result of punishment.. stop. Even verbal abuse can do this to someone. Sometimes we say things we do not realize we are saying. try to catch all you say and have family members do the same. this doesn't sound like a regular shy kid especially with a nervous habit at 6.

Suwarato - posted on 10/26/2017

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does anyone in the family hit him? I was and still am like this as an adult by the way, I came from an abused home. If you or anyone in the family results to any form of violence as a result of punishment.. stop. Even verbal abuse can do this to someone. Sometimes we say things we do not realize we are saying. try to catch all you say and have family members do the same. this doesn't sound like a regular shy kid especially with a nervous habit at 6.

JazzyGirl - posted on 12/16/2015

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Some children are more outspoken and some are more shy. With my son who's five it's the exact opposite I have to tell him not to talk to everyone he sees because not all people are safe or friendly. It's great that your sons communicating with other kids his age though that's a good thing, but when it comes to the grandparents that's something i'm not sure about. Usually children open up around family and our least likely around strangers because that's someone there more comfortable with, unless they're not around the grandparents much then that would be different, but other than that I see no harm in the situation. But if it starts to concern you more as something unusual maybe you should look into things and find a family psychologist for kids to make sure everything's okay. There's nothing wrong with asking questions when it comes to your child.

Ana - posted on 12/16/2015

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Well, I don't see a problem. He's fine around his peers and that seems typical and appropriate for a little boy his age who happens to be shy around adults. If he was sucking his fingers and playing shy as a pre-teen, then for sure go see a pediatrician.

Ana - posted on 12/16/2015

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Sarah, I beg to differ. My kids were shy towards adults- including their grandparents at that age. They outgrew the shy stage on their own and are confident young men now. I have no doubt this little guy is going to be just fine.

Raye - posted on 12/16/2015

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Shyness to a degree is normal, but if he won't talk to teachers or adults that he's been around many times, then that is a problem. You should work with the child to get their confidence up. And doing it now is important before it becomes a habit that a child can’t, or won’t, break. Begin with steady reminders that it's important to look a person in the eye when he/she is talking to you, or you are talking to someone. This is a life lesson that will take him right through everything from a job interview to a marriage proposal. I'd gently explain that ignoring people who are talking to him is rude, and hurts other people's feelings. I'd teach him some standard responses (when someone asks, "How are you?," say, "Fine, thank you."). Keep it positive and give lots of praise even for the smallest improvement.

It is good to make sure he understood that strangers who strike up conversations when trusted adults aren't around are OK to ignore.

Ana - posted on 12/16/2015

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That's completely normal behavior for a young child. Little kids are supposed to play shy around strangers, it's a natural instinct to keep them safe.

Raye - posted on 12/15/2015

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You should be planning more activities where he has to interact with many different kinds of people, children and adults. Is he not in school yet? He will need to talk to teachers and other adults. Quit babying him and make him do it. Praise him when he is more outspoken so he gains confidence.

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