7 month old is going through the mommy phase. How do I break this pattern?

[deleted account] ( 5 moms have responded )

My 7 month yr old wont let anyone hold him. He cries instantly when I try to pass him off to someone. He is fine with Daddy but still scans the room to see if im around.

Im hoping it is just a phase bc im so tired and people are getting frustrated, mostly family! help!

5 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

Thank you everyone! I know its a phase...and more likely then not ill miss him wanting me so much. I plan to take it in stride and incorporate more self soothing.
Its def. a help to hear that im not alone and its not a fault of mine as a parent. Whew.
Keep the tips coming though! loving the advice and stories! ox

Renae - posted on 06/22/2010

2,209

23

156

Google "separation anxiety". In a nutshell, it is a normal phase of psychological (intellectual and emotional) development. In boys it starts around 6 months and peaks at 8 months, passes by 10-12 months. (Girls are a bit earlier.) Just ride it out. Dont force him to go to people and leaving him to cry will not help it will make it take longer to pass.

You can try to encourage independent play so you can get things done. You start by sitting on the floor playing with him, then you stop playing but still sit there and let him continue playing. Then you start doing something else, like reading or folding laundry, so you are still there but not engaging with him. After a few days of doing this several times per day, when you stop playing with him, move a couple of feet away (slide your bum on the floor dont get up). Continue to move a little further away every couple of days until you can move to the edge of the room and he doesn't notice. Your next step is to stand up, dont leave just stand there doing your task. The last step is to leave the room for increasing amounts of time, start with a couple of minutes and increase it gradually. In a month you will be able to leave him alone for 20 minutes at a time (dont expect much longer than that at his age). This is a good exercise for everyone because it gives you a chance to shower and get chores done.

Corinne - posted on 06/21/2010

1,288

14

121

It's just a phase honey, keep your chin up as "this too shall pass". I always try to remember that. Also, talk to your family. Why are they frustrated with a baby? It's a very childish response from them when what you need is their love and support. You could try holding a muslin square or small blanket between you and your baby so that when you pass him to Aunty, or Gran, he still has your smell with him? Good luck. x

Crystal - posted on 06/20/2010

72

15

21

well, what i found was that i am always with my daughter and never went anywhere without her, so once a week family members offered to take her so she can get used to other people. she cried for about an hour the first couple of times, but now she doesnt cry for that long. i packed her favorite things that she doesn't get often like Popsicle and stuff. and my husband and i go to a movie or something. the problem iss though, you have to find someone willing to deal with a crying cranky baby. lol. good luck. its hard.

[deleted account]

I have found there is no way around this! My daughters went through this and then they both (my youngest still there) got into Daddy-only. I dont get it its a bonding thing i guess. Just be patient i've found it to be a phase so good luck!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms