8 yr. old attitude how did/are you getting through?

Karen - posted on 07/05/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )

481

19

48

I am altering this from another post that I posted in mom's who need to vent. I realized my son is going through the attitude/disrespectful stage that most kids go through. He is driving me utterly insane! Anyway, he's driving me nuts. It's like he's going through the terrible 2's all over again. Testing his limits he's already learned. Only it's 10X worse because he can talk a lot better now. He's a mini teenager. He knows it all, thinks we owe him everything, demands that we do this or that for him, doesn't learn from any of the punishments we have been using for yrs. It doesn't matter how much we take away from him, for how long, nothing works. He gets out of control he goes to his room until he calms down. He's out of control for 80% of his day. Nothing suites him, he's constantly irritated with his brother and sister, hurting them everytime he passes them even though they are doing nothing to him. He acts so spoiled too and my kids are far from being spoiled. Once a yr. we splurge and take them to the carnival. Well this yr. we had more money so we bought more tickets and played more games. My oldest wasn't satisfied. He pouted and acted like a brat the whole time. All weekend was full of "I want a cell phone, I want a dirt bike' ect ect. and just acting so unpleasant. We tried so hard to lighten him up to no avail. I've seen so many friends' kids go through this and I remember going through it for a little while. He seems to be dragging on and on though. Any suggestions/tips to hang onto my sanity. I'm prego with #4 and new to the staying at home. I've waited to long to be able to stay at home and now it's not so pleasant most of the time because of my oldest.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Katherine - posted on 07/06/2011

65,420

232

5195

Why don't you try the reward system with him? Make up a reward chart and every time he does something right he gets a star. Don't make it too hard, make it so his goals are reachable. Put chores on their, not hurting his siblings, being respectful etc.....at the end of the week if he has so many stars he gets something special. OR he can work towards something bigger. By doing well for a month, maybe he can get his dirt bike......or you can give him money and he can save it up for one. Maybe a nickle? That way he is learning that it takes WORK to earn things.

Amanda - posted on 07/06/2011

27

38

1

We have been going through the same thing with our son for about six months now. But he has definitely come around now that we have stayed consistant with him. It does take time and patience. But just from experience I would say it is more acting out from the changes you said have occured in your house. You're a new stay at home mom, and there's a new baby on the way. he could be acting out because he is not sure how to deal with all the changes and new feelings he is having about everything. When our son went through that stage when we had baby #4 and he was six, we tried to let him have a couple extra privileges just for him and some extra time with us. We reminded him constantly how much we loved him and how amazing it was that he was the oldest and could do all these different things his little sisters couldn't even think of being allowed to. But he is now going through it again. And consistancy really is the key. We have given him more responsibilites as well as more privileges. He does get grounded. He can and has had the TV, movies, DS, Wii and playdates with friends taken away. It took him a few times to lose all of these things before he realized I was serious and the attitude and all the other stuff would be taken away and would not be given back until the time was up. We have also done it in the way that it all gets taken away for an unlimited time frame. He has to earn ONE of those items back at a time. Once his attitude and everything changes he will not get any of it back and it he earns something and we feel the need it can and has gotten taken away again Stay strong and firm and consistant! Good luck!

Jennifer - posted on 07/06/2011

1,431

1

298

Oh, I definately know how you feel. My oldest is 7 and has had a really bad attitude for a while now. I forget where I read it, but a lot of it comes from the fact that they are trying to find their place. They are too old for the "baby-ish" things, but still young enough that they can't handle a lot of things that are for older kids/teens. I found that the more responsibilities I give my son, the better off his attitude is. Like now, he is responsibile for all trash in the house whether it's taking a full bag out to the cans or taking the cans to the curb on trash day. He picks out his own clothes and unless we are going somewhere that it really matters like church or a wedding, I don't say anything even though the poor boy has no sense of matching. lol Pretty much, I let him do everything that he can for him self, like making toast or pouring his own milk, or a ton of other things. I think this gives him a sense of controll and the knowledge that he can do things his younger brother and sisters can't. The attitude still comes out, but it seems like the more I give him controll over things, the less severe it is.

[deleted account]

it's hard, my oldest turned 10 last week,and still has attitude issues... a lot of it is copied from kids at school. Hopefully we can do some "de-programming" over the summer. But she can be very disrespectful, yells at her sisters constantly (they are 4 and 5) and is very demanding. I tell her that if she can't get along with her sisters, she can't play with anyone else, because friends come and go, but family you live with and are more important to get along with. My husband and I also decided to get our cable turned off because I think that most of the programs were sending the wrong message. Too much teenager-type stuff that is aimed at the younger kids...these shows are showing kids who treat the parents as equals, and don't respect authority, and even when they do get in "trouble" they don't have any real consequences for it. I explained to my girls that what they were seeing was not how a family was meant to be, and that we would no longer have Disney and Nick and all that because of this. Kids today seem to think they are entitled to everything and anything they desire. I want my girls to learn patience and contentment. When she is disrespectful or angry I look up Bible verses on whatever we are going through and have her write them out. Some of them that I gave her she even put on neon note cards and taped to her wall! Raising kids takes a lot of prayer! lol so just don't get down on yourself, and most importantly don't give in! Because that will just reinforce the wrong behavior all the more for next time! Be the best example you can, and just keep doing what you're doing. It may seem like it's not working, but maybe when he sees that you aren't giving in, he will. And if he is acting a little spoiled, take him to volunteer somewhere like a soup kitchen or something...giving them a visual to see how much they should be thankful for. My daughter is better that she used to be, but I think she is already in the beginning stages of puberty! Ahhh! So pray for me, and I will pray for you! :)

10 Comments

View replies by

Karen - posted on 07/06/2011

481

19

48

I know. He's a lazy one when it comes to doing something lol. I have to pull teeth to get him to walk through Wal Mart without whining that his legs hurt. But when he's on his bike at home he can ride for hours lol. Kids. He did manage to save up for 1 toy. That's as far as he had gotten.

Katherine - posted on 07/06/2011

65,420

232

5195

I can't believe he wouldn't want to do the rewards chart!!!!

Earning that much money....he could have saved up for a bike.

Karen - posted on 07/06/2011

481

19

48

thanks for all the great ideas! I've tried the reward charts and it doesn't work for him. He ends up ripping the chart up and doesn't want to earn anything. I have made it super easy for him to earn something. We did a chore list where he could earn 25 cents for every chore and he had extra chores like washing the car where he could get $1. After 3 weeks I kept the chore chart in my purse because he kept messing with it. Then once it was out of sight I reminded him every day that it was still an active thing, but he lost interest. i even tried helping him with the chores like i would dry the dishes with him to help him get some $. Nope.

Katherine - posted on 07/06/2011

65,420

232

5195

Why don't you try the reward system with him? Make up a reward chart and every time he does something right he gets a star. Don't make it too hard, make it so his goals are reachable. Put chores on their, not hurting his siblings, being respectful etc.....at the end of the week if he has so many stars he gets something special. OR he can work towards something bigger. By doing well for a month, maybe he can get his dirt bike......or you can give him money and he can save it up for one. Maybe a nickle? That way he is learning that it takes WORK to earn things.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms