8 yr old daughter

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

Hi I am a mom to a beautiful 8 yr old. She is respectful and mindful of others however we've recently moved to an area where she is able to have a bit more freedom outdoors(apt to a house on residential street). My problem is that I find that for the sake of having friends, she is allowing herself to be taken advantage of by the other children for example: toys, food and even being deserted by these friends when others come around and left 'out' by herself. I've tried explaining why she shouldn't allow these things to happen to her and that when they do to just come in the house but to no avail. Just today I saw her hanging around outside a 'friends' house after 'they' left her to play on their own-she was hoping that they would come back out and include her again. How can I help her be a stronger individual-this is breaking my heart.

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[deleted account]

I know how heartbreaking this must be for you. I taught 4th grade and dealt with similiar situations every year. I dreaded recess for the exact reason you just described. All you can do is talk to her and keep talking to her until she learns on her own. Right now she is trying to fit in and wants to be friends which is completely understandable. Maybe it would help if you arrange playdates and invite the children to your house to play. That way the situation is turned around and she can be the hostess where everyone gets included. She'll also be back in school soon which gives her a chance to make new friends that can also come to the house to play. Good luck!

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Kelly - posted on 07/31/2009

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I would try to ask around or watch for one little girl that can be her new "best" friend. Someone who will treat her kindly. Kids are much less considerate in a group setting, than they are one-on-one. I agree with the others that she will probably learn from this on her own, but what a sad lesson to have to learn!

Michelle - posted on 07/31/2009

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That is so sad. Kids can be so cruel at times. I too have a 8 yr old daughter and i have always tried to teach her not to leave kids out. I tell her how would you feel and you should always treat others the way you would like to be treated. Although I have told her you don't have to be friends with everyone you still have to be nice and treat others with respect! If every mothers would teach their children compassion things would be different.

Ask her if she really wants to be around others who treat people that way.I would tell her to always be herself and that one special friend will come along.

I can definitely understand how painful it is to watch, but sometimes the things i think might hurt my daughter doesn't really bother her. I guess its harder on us moms. continue to talk to her and i hope things work out soon.

User - posted on 07/24/2009

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Is your daughter involved in any sort of activities - dance lessons, swimming, etc? If you see a particularly friendly child, encourage your daughter to try to make friends with that child. Allow her to invite them over for an afternoon of play, or whatever. Until she learns how a friend SHOULD treat her, she may not understand that she's being taken advantage of.



I'm sure it is very hard to watch your daughter go through this - but she will learn from it!

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