A Third Child

Christy - posted on 02/20/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I grew up an only child, so siblings are little out of my area of expertise. My husband is the oldest of four boys and they are all very close. I have a 3 year old daughter and a 17 1/2 month old son, both are good children, though at times they can be quite a handful. I would love to have another child, but my husband is on the fence about having another one. Its not so much a question of loving a third child, but being capable of handling another child. So my question is this.... for those of you that have three children... is there a big difference in being able to handle three children than there is handling two?

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[deleted account]

I had the same problem trying to decide to have a 3rd or not. I have 4 brothers/sisters growing up, my husband had 5. I loved the fact that I had br/sis to talk to, play, hang out, do things together...when growing up. I knew I would have at least 2 and always thought 3 was a nice number. I am now pregnant with my 3rd and feel good about it. My son is 7 and daughter is 4.5 right now. The hard part about having a 3rd was having to do the baby thing again. Right now my kids are so independant, and I have a girl and a boy. I could have left things the way they were but then I think I would always wonder about the 3rd baby. I knew now was the time. Good luck, just think about what you guys want.

Kim - posted on 02/21/2010

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The big difference going from 1-2 you have found out, less sleep, when can you get in a nap, pretty much never. That doesn't change having a 3rd. Yours will be closer together so a big thing will be getting them safely to places, from the car thru the parking lot to the store and back. Handling them while you are anywhere, although your oldest will be around 4 and usually are better listeners but they do still do stupid things(bolting across a street or to the car, walking away from you). My 3rd was 4 yrs younger than my 2nd and 7 yrs younger than my 1st(not really our choice) so I really didn't have to worry too much about the 7 yr old in parking lots(well most of the time, he can be my worst sometimes) and he was in 1st grade by then. My biggest change was the house going back to a playroom. I had finally been able to put toys upstairs in the kids' rooms, less in the livingroom and now all the youngest toys are downstairs again so she has access to them. I do rotate them but so don't my older ones so my livingroom is always a messy playroom. Oh and your older one will be getting those lovely 3 and up toys, and she probably will not be careful with those toys. You will have to be very very careful with them to keep them out of the younger ones mouthes.

Mandy - posted on 02/20/2010

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I think if you can handle two, you can handle 10. I went from 2 to 4 overnight when I had twins. Although it was hard at first, it's a piece of cake now. And the thought of a big family and lots of grandkids makes me happy!

Jamie - posted on 02/20/2010

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If you can have two kids that close in age than im sure you can handle it i had my second child almost excatly 2 years apart and its ok wouldnt change a thing Rebecca got out of diapers just as soon and Kaitlyn got to be like 3 months! Is your older child a helper ? bec mine isnt as much as i ve heard of in other familys ive known and they will be in school soon so it will be like only have two around the house for the main part of the the day .....i def want a third but im just not there yet i think i will def do the two years apart again but life is what happens when we are making other plans

Jamie - posted on 02/20/2010

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Hi Christy, I have three gilrs! We thought about the same thing whenn it came to adding another baby!! My kids are spread out a little futher than yours though; 7,4 and 4months!!! I would not change a thing!! I did not find it very hard of an adjustment. I do know that it was a little difficult when she was first born but that is because it was the day before halloween, my four yr old had an infection and then my oldest got another one a few days later so that was interesting. It is so much fun though watching them grow and love one another!

Natalie - posted on 02/20/2010

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I ave a 4 year old boy and a 2 year old girl and pregnant with our 3rd. They'll be 2 1/2 and 4 1/2 when this baby is born and i am sure i can handle it :-)
Yes, 2 is quite a handful, but my son will be starting pre-k after the summer, pretty soon after the baby's gonna be born so it all works out great. I can handle 2 kids no problem.
Also, my son understands more now and he knows to stay by my side when we go somewhere.

Kymberly - posted on 02/20/2010

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I am a mother of 4. I have a 4 year old boy, 3 year old girl, a 21 month old boy, and a 7 month old girl. For my husband and I, we said we would have as many kids as we wanted until we felt done. And we did not get that feeling until I had my fourth child. If you guys are sure, I would say go for it if it fits in your family. Personally with your kids already being young, now is the time to do it, and really it is not that big of an ajustment. I found the biggest ajustment going from 1 and 2, but not 3 and 4. You will feel tired, especially after giving birth, but if you have a good support system you will get through the rough patches. My husband and I really dont have family support, and he works all the time to allow me to stay home with out kids, so I feel like a single mother at times, but would not change a thing. So my advice is if you are going to have another child, don't put too big of a gap, keep them close. The bigger the gap in age, the harder the adjustment on you and your family. Good luck!

[deleted account]

I found the opposite from Erin. My jump for 2 to 3 was a much bigger adjustment for me then going from 1 to 2. My first & second, however, were very close together (less than a year) in age and I never got out of the baby stage between them. My second and third, though, were over 3 years apart, so I had been out of the diaper/bottle/night waking stage for a while. That very well could be why I found my third such a hard adjustment!

Erin - posted on 02/20/2010

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for me, the jump from 1 to 2 was more difficut then from 2 to 3. but it is different for everybody, good luck with whatever you deside

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