about to leave him

Cleaver - posted on 01/22/2013 ( 11 moms have responded )

580

0

90

i am seriously about to leave my husband i am tired of the verbal abuse im going to start recording him being abusive to me and the kids so of he tries taking them away from me i have proof of how he is and ill get them

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Tracey - posted on 01/25/2013

236

440

0

If you have a smart phone, you can get voice-activated recorders that can record the verbal abuse. Some of them you can even set to automatically email the recorded files to an email address--like your lawyer's.

11 Comments

View replies by

Cleaver - posted on 01/24/2013

580

0

90

thank you very much i will push more for counseling and i will have to leave if he doesn't accept there is a certain point where enough is enough

Jodi - posted on 01/24/2013

3,562

36

3907

Except that it isn't good for the children if you can't make some changes. Seeing a mother who is unhappy and a father who is verbally abusive towards her is more damaging to children than having their parents separate. Just remember that separation does not mean no father. You can both still be highly involved in their lives without being together as a couple.

Jodi - posted on 01/24/2013

3,562

36

3907

A counselling session can really help. If there is still something in the marriage, and you think it could be saved if you both made some compromises, counselling can be helpful in finding those compromises.

Cleaver - posted on 01/24/2013

580

0

90

actually the rosary was a gift when i was visiting family in winnipeg. its weird he says hes okay with it then acts differently. normally everything is okay even though we have different beliefs but if its brought up he flips out.
i want to try counseling i have told him this. there's just some things i we need to talk about that i think it might be easier on us with someone else there trying to keep us in our corners.

Jodi - posted on 01/24/2013

3,562

36

3907

While I agree that the verbal abuse is unacceptable, I can kind of see his point about the religion thing. You are the one who has changed in this relationship in his eyes, not him. You have found religion, which I am not saying is a bad thing, but now, you are no longer on the same page, and in particular, if you have purchased a rosary for your son, then you have made the decision, seemingly without his approval or agreement, to raise your children within that religion. Evidently, he is not okay with this. Something happened here that YOU changed, and no, he hasn't accepted it. Why does he have to accept that you are going to indoctrinate HIS children in a religion he doesn't necessarily agree with? Did you know that if you leave him, he actually has the legal right to prevent you raising your children in religion if he chooses to go that direction?

Anyway, I am not saying he is right in yelling at you all the time, but I am saying it isn't fair to put all the blame on him for the problems in your marriage, because you have created some of them.

Have you tried counselling to try and find some common ground on these issues in your marriage (and just remember, religion is a BIG deal breaker in many marriages)?

Cleaver - posted on 01/24/2013

580

0

90

religion is one of the reasons he yells at me i 'found god' after having my sons and he cant accept that. my son has an unbreakable rosary that he yells at me when he sees him with.its not physical its all verbal i want to record him and show his mother and see what she has to say

Kalina - posted on 01/22/2013

7

0

0

If he is abusing you and your children you need to do what is best and get out if you can, I would definitely record him so you can prove him to be unfit if he tries to get custody. I'm so sorry you are even faced with this situation. I wish you and your children the best.

Lori - posted on 01/22/2013

1

0

0

Where exactly in the bible does it say that? As far as I know, the bible only condones divorce in situations of infidelity. Not that it really matters what the bible has to say anyway. Good luck Cleaver. I'm sorry you and your children have to deal with that.

Erika - posted on 01/22/2013

7

0

1

well God says thats the only that were suppose to stay by there sides through anything except abuse so if his abusing you in some way get out of there he doesnt deserve you

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms