Adoption (do people beleve there is a sad under current around it because its a second choice?)

Amanda - posted on 04/13/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Reciently I have been studing the internet about adopton i came a cross someones blog (to remain namless because i don't know them) stating the "sad" conitation around adoption- meaning its a second choice for both partys involved the birth mom and adoptive parents any ideas out there it made me sad/intrested to see how people view adoption as today and what they believe about adopton in todays world.

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Amber - posted on 04/13/2011

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I responded to this in the other community, but I'll give a brief response here for those who can't see that one.

My SO and I have a biological child together and still intend on having more. But we're planning on adopting also. We're thinking 2 natural and 2 adopted.

While there is a mix of emotions for all involved, I think that hope and happiness are the most prominent emotions felt.

Hope for that child's future, happiness that it is in a loving home, and happiness for the adoptive parents who wanted another child to love.

Michelle - posted on 04/13/2011

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It might initially seem sad on the surface because it's not everyone involved's "first choice". I imagine you have to work through feelings of failure. But really my uncle adopted both of his girls and the day each of them was born were the best days in his life. They know they are adopted and are very happy with their life situation as well. It seems to me that adoption is actually the ultimate win/ win for everyone involved. People who couldn't have children get them and children who wouldn't otherwise have a family (or possibly been aborted) get their family.

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I kind of have to agree. I've had a really hard time staying pregnant (I get pregnant easily). We've talked about adoption if by the time I'm 30 we don't have at least 2 more children. The idea saddens me a bit, I will have failed at a very simple task that most women have no problem with. At the same time I think there would be great joy, like what Shannon said, that choice could save a child from being killed.

Shannon - posted on 04/13/2011

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Hi there, I recently (as in the past year) have had a family member that was pregnant and her ONLY thought was abortion. We (other members of my family) knew that we had another cousin that couldn't have children due to health issues, and suggested that she consider allowing the other cousin to adopt. Due to her age and her lack of parental support, she made the decision to give this wonderful gift. The child, a little girl, is now a yr old and thriving in a loving home. There are alot of stigma's out there dealing with adoption, but not all of them are sad. I know quite a few instances where a child has been adopted and the parents have told them that they were so lucky to have that particular child, because they got to "pick" them as their own. I suppose it all depends on your own personal beliefs and what you feel is right. I look at adoption as a gift of love, not only to your child but to a family that otherwise may not have the joy of children. God bless :-)

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