Advice for my relationship

Julie - posted on 10/18/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Hi Ladies, I was wondering if you can help me with my problem. I am currently on Mat leave with our 8 month old and my husband works out of town 24 days of the month. When he comes home he is always busy working on the house and of course I help out with this. He is constantly saying that he would rather stay home all day and "play" with our baby than go to work and wishes that I could make more money so he doesn't have to work anymore. It seems like he is resenting the fact that I am at home and does not realise how much work it is here with a baby, a dog and two cats all alone. How do I make him realise that it isn't easy what I do, without starting a big fight?

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Jill - posted on 10/18/2012

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Make plans for a weekend. Go somewhere for two days with a girlfriend, leaving dad and baby home.



He'll figure it out right quick.

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Julie - posted on 10/19/2012

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Don't get me wrong, he is absolutely a loving and hard working husband. This is not the problem. It is just that he thinks that staying home is easy and that all I do all day is play. I think I will take a day trip with a friend and see how he does!

Stefanie - posted on 10/18/2012

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Leave for a long weekend. He will then appreciate what staying at home means. If not then leave for a longer time a few months later. ;) There is a country song called Mr. Mom (I think) It totally sums up the working parents point of view on staying home.

Carla - posted on 10/18/2012

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I'd do what Jill suggested, leave him for the w.e.. Or don't help when he is actually do it, jst let him go and juggle it on his own. My partner was exactlly the same, until I let him go one w.e for half the day, while I slept in and jst observed.. He never helped when he came home from work though coz he thought I should be able to handle a 4yr old and 9week old by myself, clean the house, run errands, laundry, dinner etc all by myself. He now helps with either dinner or watches the baby and entertains mr 4yr old while I do dinner.. And never gets on my case if I haven't hung his washing out within minutes of the machine finishing.

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I don't really get it. Why are you frustrated with your husband wanting to be at home and caring for your son? Isn't that a good quality? So what if he doesn't get how hard it is. His point is most likely that he wants to have time with his child. He works, then comes home and works on the house. From the sound of it, he wants more time to do devote to his child.



Based on what you've posted, I think you are reading way too much into what he is saying and being overly critical. It sounds to me like you have a hardworking loving husband who is also a loving father.

User - posted on 10/18/2012

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I know exactly how you feel. Leave him at home all day with your little one and ask him to do a few things while you are gone. He will realize how much work it is. We have 9 month old twins and I have let him do ALL the cleaning for a few days and he realized super fast how hard it is to keep a clean house 24/7.

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