am i a bad mum?

Tarsha - posted on 11/29/2009 ( 97 moms have responded )

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my bubs just turned 5 months old...ive been bottle and breast feeding, and ive tried to make more milk 4 him to exclusive breastfeed again..i cant!!! i wanna stop breastfeeding and just give him the bottle..it seems thats what he wants..what u think?

97 Comments

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Kelly - posted on 12/07/2009

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i think its totally up to you if u want 2 breastfeed or not, there is alot of pushing out there to breastfeed.. what suits u is best! the same thing happen to me i was going inbetween bottle and breast with my son then my milk reduced and no matter how often i tried to feed him to get my milk back up it didnt come, i tried tablets to increase my milk from the doctor,nothing worked! Formula is just as good as breastmilk! dont feel bad, if its suiting him fine then it suits u :)

Jessica - posted on 12/06/2009

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u are not a bad mum lol, thats silly. its ur choice how long u breastfed. just persist with him, definitly give him the bottle if he seems ready for it. thats the only way u truley no wen to change something with ur baby, wen there looking for it. good luck

Krysta - posted on 12/06/2009

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He probably prefers the bottle because it's easier to get the milk out of! He barely has to suck on the bottle while he has to pump your breast pretty hard. He also might prefer the taste of formula over breastmilk. Yes, breastmilk is BEST for him so you should try hard to keep him breastfeeding OR you could pump your breast milk and feed him it in a bottle. This way, it's a win-win.

Catrina - posted on 12/06/2009

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i think its ok i felt like a bad mom 4 a while too but my daughter just would not take to the breast dont feel bad its ok

Debi - posted on 12/06/2009

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As long as he is gaining weight and he is a happy baby he has already gotten all the good stuff from the first month of breast feeding each child is different I breast feed my oldest till she was 6 months old but she drank breast milk out of the cup till she was a year old, my youngest did not want to give it up.. but you need to do what is right for you and yours either way he will be happy

Jayne - posted on 12/06/2009

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The only problem is when you stop breast feeding completely you can't ever go back to it and I regreted giving up with my first child. Just make sure its what you want and do whatever is right for you and the baby.

Katy - posted on 12/06/2009

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P.S NOT a bad mum!!! The fact you care about the issue proves how caring you are!

Katy - posted on 12/06/2009

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Look, I tried really hard to breast feed both of mine and I couldn't. I had no milk supply the first time and the midwife told me to put my daughter on the bottle I cried my eyes out and felt like I was a rotton mother, first time is always hardest! My son would be spitting up bloody from my torn boobs and I would cry! I put him on the bottle and he is thriving! Second time round I didn't feel so bad about it. You need to do whats right for you as well as him. And if breastfeeding is not what you want to do then don't feel badly. You need to enjoy your baby not beat yourself up! Good luck x

Christina - posted on 12/06/2009

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There is nothing wrong with putting the breast milk in a bottle and giving it to him that way. Even if you need to stop breastfeeding for not being able to produce enough there is nothing wrong with that. You are not a bad mom at all for choosing what's best for your baby. Your baby needs to eat so if you do need to give formula there is nothing wrong with that. Of course breast milk is the best and you already know this seeing as your doing it but if there is a problem and your stressing out about it then make the change he wont be on formula for that much longer then he can start on the whole milk. Don't stress yourself that only makes things worse for you and baby. Good luck and follow your instincts!

Tiffany - posted on 12/06/2009

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I lost my milk when my daughter was only 41/2 months old. It war really hard for me...but the baby was fine! She is now almost 2 years old and doing great! I breatfed my first baby until he went straigt to the cup and I can't tell any difference between the two! Good luck!

Judi - posted on 12/06/2009

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You have 4 kids, you need energy for you too, 5 months breastfeeding kudos, great job!!! If you were a "bad mom" you wouldn't be questioning yourself, you'd be sticking soda in the bootle.

Jennifer - posted on 12/06/2009

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HEY!!

Not a bad mum.. lol.. It's a known fact that bottles are easier for the little guy to get milk out of. It's not that he doesn't want your breast, it's that it's easier for him to get what he wants.

Your options are this - move him to the bottle, or don't. If you don't - he will be fussy as he realizes he has to work harder for the milk, but will eventually take the breast again with no issues. Increasing milk production... well get a good pump and when you bottle feed him, pump, - like crazy.

Here's the thing, if you want to move him to bottle, do so, it's okay. I got over the guilt, after my milk didn't have enough calories and fats to make baby "fat" - so I was full milk supply then having to add formula and extras for him to get everything. He is wonderfully healthy, happy, bouncing and round now as well. Not to mention, daddy is happy cause he gets to help out with feeding... (you and I both know that breast time is a bit of bonding time.. lol, but you still bond while they eat).

Either way works, but if you want to go back to the breast solely, then that's good too, just get a pump and every time you supplement pump. Hope this helps.. :)

Krystal - posted on 12/06/2009

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they say that its best for the first 3 months. I couldnt produce enough either and had to stop around 4 months. You have to do what you have to do. And you will notice you dont have to feed your baby as much with all bottle so youll have some time to do things you want or need to do.

Bridgette - posted on 12/06/2009

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To sum it up NO you are not a bad mum. I had the same difficulty with my 2 children. I was under alot of stress and the milk just didnt flow.Hes your child you know what he seems to want more than i do. No more bad mom thoughts or second guessing what you feel he wants.

Amy - posted on 12/06/2009

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I had 4 children. The first one nursed for 9 1/2 months, #2 5months, #3 18 (or longer, can't remember, but quit when I got prego again) and #4 quit when I gave out. It was painful because I didn't want to, but when the milk isn't there..... what can you do? There are health benefits, yes. You did your part in that already. If you both are ready to stop, congratulations on your body becoming solely yours again! (Well, maybe not solely, but you get the idea :) )Good luck to you hun, and congratulations on nursing in the first place. So many don't even try!

Seija - posted on 12/06/2009

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I went exclusively to the bottle when my son was four weeks old because I didn't make enough milk for him (delivery complications) and we never looked back. Sometimes it just doesn't work, no point beating yourself up about it.

Jennifer - posted on 12/05/2009

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Do whatever works, as long as the baby is fed and happy then does it really matter?

Ginger - posted on 12/05/2009

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Quoting tarsha:



Quoting rebekah:

not a bad mum, but strictly brestfeed him is all u have to do have him latch on every five mins if nessesary until ur milk supply comes back in...dont give up just yet>>>:)






hi rebekah,






im trying hard not to give up...ive tried to put him on..when he wakes up, for comfort, when hes hungry, he doesnt seem interested anymore, any tips or ideas? i REALLY want to continue and love breast feeding him






thanx





Mother milk tea.. it helped with increasing my milk flow.. anytime any of my 3 kids went through a growth spirt  i would drink the tea  4 times a day as well as water and feed them on demand.. basically when ever possible get ur son to feed.. ur body will take a little longer to get to where it needs to be for milk suppy because formula is being used too.. If u truly want to BF it will take some work.. if u need more help or ideas contact a local LLL.. they will have many helpful sugestions..also at 5 months they get destracted easily from their feedings, my youngest is 5 months now and she just wants to see what ther brother and sister are doing.. good luck with what ever u choose..

Megan - posted on 12/05/2009

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no youre not a bad mom. my cousin is facing the same problem. she wants to breast feed because its more natural, but her daughter wont latch on & seems to prefer formula. i'll tell you what i told her, yes breast milk has more vitamins, but after 5 months shes already gotten all of them. 5 mnths should be enough.

[deleted account]

I felt like a bad mom because I had to have a c-section. Sound silly? Of course it is! I couldn't control it. Same thing with breastfeeding. You are not a bad mom. What I would do is keep him on the breast as long as you are producing something (breastmilk is so good for babies) but once there is no more, or he won't latch, just switch to bottle. No need to stress yourself or beat yourself up about it. There are much bigger issues when raising children!

Veronica - posted on 12/05/2009

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Why does everyone think it is one or the other? Keep doing what you are doing and try to BF more often to increase your milk. It is worth a really hard try to keep breastfeeding. It really is what is best for baby and mom. Focus on BF more often and pumping in between feedings. Of course he wants the bottle. It's easy and babies will choose the lazy way if they can. They don't even really have to suck the bottle. If you left it up to him he would choose the easy way. Do you have a lactation group nearby to help you stick with it. A lactation counselor can watch you feeding and see if there are any ways to feed differently to help you out. Good luck.

Amber - posted on 12/05/2009

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go for it!! he got the good stuff in the begging and it wont harm him to not be breastfed right now!!! he will be off the bottle anyway in a few months so....just quit if you want.

Melissa - posted on 12/05/2009

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First let me say YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM!!!! Just because you don't produce enough milk for you to breastfeed him full time doesn't mean you're a bad mom. It means he simply needs more to eat. He's getting to the point where you'll start feeding him baby food and rice cereal soon. If he wants the bottle let him have it. He's not rejecting you or your milk, maybe he just thinks it's easier to get what he wants from it. I stopped breastfeeding my eldest daughter when she was a couple months old because it hurt. I didn't feel all that bad about it but my husband certainly felt like I was ... neglecting her I guess. I wasn't, it just didn't work out for us. It's great you were able to breastfeed for so long. Give him the bottle and start feeding him some rice cereal. He'll be much fuller for much longer and believe me bottle feeding can be just as intimate and loving as breastfeeding is.

Sarah - posted on 12/05/2009

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Don't feel bad at all i could only feed my little girl until 3 1/2 mths then for no reason my milk started drying up (doc could't explain said it happens with some people) so I switch her ova to formula she just went in leaps and bounds and hasn't stopped growin, she also just as happy and healthy as all her little friends whom were breast fed till 12mths. Just go with the flow, what's best for you and your bub, good luck

Rachel - posted on 12/05/2009

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people say breast milk is better but if you think about it formular has certain guidelines in which it must conform to so it cant be that bad. I have bottle fed my very prem bub since he was 4 days old and hes one of the healthyest most advanced babys i know and all my mates have bubs the same age

Tarsha - posted on 12/04/2009

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Quoting rebekah:

not a bad mum, but strictly brestfeed him is all u have to do have him latch on every five mins if nessesary until ur milk supply comes back in...dont give up just yet>>>:)



hi rebekah,



im trying hard not to give up...ive tried to put him on..when he wakes up, for comfort, when hes hungry, he doesnt seem interested anymore, any tips or ideas? i REALLY want to continue and love breast feeding him



thanx

Andrea - posted on 12/04/2009

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i wanted to breast feed my daughter till she was a year but i couldn. i tryed nursing and pumping and she wanted to eat every hour and i couldnt keep up with her so when she was about two months i had to switch to formula and the dr says that developmentaly she is ahaid of the curve so using formula will not hurt you son. besides all the formulas now have a lot of extra nutriants that are found naturaly in your milk.

Rebekah - posted on 12/04/2009

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not a bad mum, but strictly brestfeed him is all u have to do have him latch on every five mins if nessesary until ur milk supply comes back in...dont give up just yet>>>:)

Iris - posted on 12/04/2009

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When u bottle feed, they sleep longer hours . It would be easier on you too. U will get more sleep and also if you want to leave the baby with someone to babysit , it is also easier on them as well.. If he wants the bottle then give him the bottle..

Mary - posted on 12/04/2009

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That dosn't mean your a bad mom! Silly goose!!! I couldn't make enough milk too so I had to suppliment with formula. Eventually I just gave up trying to let her eat from my breast and she went exclusivly to the bottle. They don't care weather or not you feed them from your breast of from a bottle, they just want to eat and as long as they are doing that they are happy. No worries! Your a good mom for trying. Thats what matters!!!

Ally - posted on 12/04/2009

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My 2nd wouldn't latch so I decided to pump and put it in a bottle for her. However after 3 weeks I a just not producing, I even tried pumping in the bath tub to have the heat help me let down and nothing! Everyone I have talked to says oh just pump more and you will produce more, but I don't really think that is the case for everyone. So now my baby is on nothing but formula and she is growing and developing just fine. I think that the decision is comepletly up to you. If it becomes stressful or hard for you the baby can sense it. I don't think you are a bad mom at all!

[deleted account]

have you tried pumping? he may want to move on and its easier for you to use the bottle but most moms who bottle feed truly ignore the fact that breastmilk is so perfect for your individual baby. do what you can and after that rest assured that you are not a bad mom and never will be just as long as you try to do your best. thats all anybody can hope for. dont get down on yourself! give yourself things to be grateful for. remember that you feed him your emotions just as surely as you feed him milk. so love yourself and love your baby- everything will turn out fine, it always does!

Ilene - posted on 12/04/2009

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I've had 3 kids and wanted them all to have mommy's milk. My first one, now 12, took it for a few days then didn't want it anymore. My 2nd one just gave me a hard way to go from the first time I tried to the last and my 3rd one took it for a small amount of time. So I pumped. I didn't like it and if the pump had really good suction, it would hurt me, sometimes a lot and I would have to stop. First thing you should find out is why you dried up. Is it because of your eating/drinking? Do you massage your breasts enough? (I had to, it was the only way I produced). Are you under a lot of stress? If it turns out that there's nothing you can do about it, there's nothing wrong with formula. My son couldn't take any of the formulas w/o getting sick, so we gave him goat's milk. They say it's the closest thing to human mother's milk.(not sure I beleive that) Fortunatly we knew someone with a pet goat. He hardly ever spit up and didn't have much gas at all. Goats milk is expensive at grocery stores and WIC will (at the time) only give it if prescribed by a doctor. And no, you are NOT a bad mother. because of your breast milk. All of my kids started on cereal on their 3 month birthdays and only took a bottle at night to go to sleep.

Sharmaine - posted on 12/04/2009

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ur not a bad mum!!

my 1st weend himself of at 11 months and my little one is 5 months and he is a tits man too.. i have quite a few friends that are mothers and lots of them only gave the babies bottles n an couple have breast n boltte and 2 or 3 of them were breast feeding n had to change to boltte for different reason.

But i think if he is full, u should do watever makes ur baby happy because that is all that matter!! :-)

Kasey - posted on 12/04/2009

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Do what ever you feel most comftable with, you are a good Mum because you are trying your best and thats all we can do.

Mary - posted on 12/04/2009

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if your baby is happy with the bottle then go for the bottle you have done very well breast feeding for 5 months mary pearce

Amber - posted on 12/03/2009

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Give him the bottle. I only breastfed my son for a month because he was drinkin more than i could produce and it cost too much to rent the breast pump i was using. My sons 3 yrs old and perfectly fine never been sick (other than a cold) never had any health problems so if thats what your worried about dont be.

Arwen - posted on 12/03/2009

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If you want to breastfeed exclusively, just wean from the bottle. Frequent nursing sessions should get that right back up. Your baby is almost at the age to start baby food, though. Around 5-7 months, I started the stage 1 foods for DD. My milk supply naturally decreased because she was eating. You might not have to worry about weaning from anything. Baby food can be your new formula. I normally nursed first and then fed to make sure she got enough breastmilk.

Ashley - posted on 12/03/2009

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All three of my kids were on the bottle from birth, and they are all fine..(a bit too talkative lol) but fine. I tried breast feeding the first one, and it definately wasnt for me.. If your babys happy with the bottle, go for it!

Valerie - posted on 12/03/2009

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Wow. It is so refreshing for once to see a post on BG vs the Bottle and not see people ripping on each other. Not only that...but to see how many of us mothers realize that we don't need to be mutually exclusive! I breastfed my first one, but she had troubles latching on and wasn't gaining weight. So we did both til she was 5 months then weaned. My second is nursing wonderfully....but I doubt I will make it more than 5-6 months before I'll want to wean her just so I can have my body back to myself again! As wonderful as BF is....your sanity is way more important to your child's well-being! YAY TO ALL YOU WONDERFUL LADIES FOR BEING ACCEPTING TO BOTH FORMS OF FEEDING YOUR BABY!!!!

Marie - posted on 12/03/2009

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I breast fed for almost 3 months after that my body just didnt produce enough milk, and she didnt care whichever as long as she ate. yes breast is best but sometimes its just not physically possible. do whats best for u : )

Lauren - posted on 12/03/2009

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I had trouble too, with the same issues. I let him go to the bottle full time, because my stress over trying so hard was keeping me from simply enjoying my son. It was hard to give it up, and I still feel jealous of women who have no problem with it, but ultimately my son is a picture of health. And 5 months is a great start! Stay positive and don't beat yourself up.

Heather - posted on 12/03/2009

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that doesnt make you a bad mom at all! I wanted to exclusively breastfeed my son but i never got any breastmilk at all so after two weeks of trying and suplimenting we went exclusivly on formual. my son is now 5 months and happy and healthy and growing like a weed. for the first whole month i felt like the worst mom in world because i couldnt but then i realized it was ok and it didnt make me a failer as a mom. dont let it beat you up!

Natasha - posted on 12/03/2009

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YOU R NOT A BAD MUM AT ALL LOL,THE FUNI THING IS I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING WHEN I WEANED MY BABY BOY I FELT LYKE HOW CULD I DO THAT 2 HIM...?N THAT I WAS RUINING OUR BOND NOW MY BABY IS GOING ON 21WEEKS AND HAS BEEN BOTTLE FEED FOR THE PASSED 3/4 WEEKS AND HE IS DOING SO WELL HES AT A HEALTHY WEIGHT LEARNING AND GROWING AT A GOOD PACE :D BUT I DO AIMIT I MISS IT SUMTIMES BUT I BOND WITH HIM IN ALOT OF OTHER WAYS :D

Jessica - posted on 12/03/2009

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no its ok he will get teeth soon any why and its ok to bottle feed some people don't even breastfeed at all

Erica - posted on 12/03/2009

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That's your choice and it doesn't make you a bad parent either way. I wanted to breastfeed my son for 9 months but could only do it for 2 wks.

Amal - posted on 12/03/2009

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don't worry about it, i only breastfed for 3 weeks. then the milk had blood in it. i felt bad and blamed myself, but my little girl is 3 now, and she is healthy. formula is made almost the same as breast milk, so your little one should feel fine.

Jane - posted on 12/03/2009

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i nursed our first for 9 months, broke my heart when i stopped - she could've cared less. i nursed our 2nd for 3 weeks and i got over the guilt quickly once she slept thru the night.

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