am i a bad parent cuase i wont let my kids stay the night with there dad he dont come around

Mari - posted on 12/22/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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he only comes around when its best for him.he tells me im a bad mom and i dont deserve them.they are my life and i do everything i can to make sure they have what they need.i dont ask him for anyhting. and everytime the kids go to his house somethin happens to them and my son has alot of problems and going through a court battle and going to four county he dont need the problem with his dad and my daughter well she is havin some trouble cause he dont come around like he should.

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Mari - posted on 12/24/2009

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i just want to say thank yu to alll themoms that answered my questions thank you very much its nice to know there other people on my side as well as my family i only want my babies to be safe

Lynda - posted on 12/23/2009

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I don't let my son see his father without me or his brother around. I don't trust him to keep my son safe. My son has not been alone with his dad for six years now. No court order cause he's been on drugs and just recently went through treatment. Still I won't let him take him by himself. So no I don't think your a bad mom. I think your a great mom. All we can do is keep our kids safe and that is what matters. And don't let him talk to you like that. You don't deserve it.

Camille - posted on 12/22/2009

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i think you are being a good parent!! if you dont feel like they are safe dont risk it i personally dont ever want to risk the what if the second i question something i stick with it. mothers no best

Leslie - posted on 12/22/2009

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Follow you instincts. If you not comfortable then there must be something flaging that need to protect your children. If he really cares he'll try harder. I think your don't the right thing.

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if they are not safe at their fathers house then they shouldn't go there. and he shouldn't be telling you that you are a bad mom. you should try and talk to him about what he is saying, and how that can hurt the kids, and also why you don't want them over there. then try and get him to arrange a time to see the kids (a regular time) even if it's only for a little while, because they will respond to the consistency.

Erika - posted on 12/22/2009

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it kinda depends on how old ur kids are..i mean when their under 15 it should be up to you to decide where they go and what they do...but after that if they wanna go to their dads then you let them...unless thier being punished for something....but no not a bad mother at all....you only doing what u think is best for them and their safety..i think if he really wanted to be in his kids life he would pay WAY more attention to them from day one...and not just come around when it suits him..

Susan - posted on 12/22/2009

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well your not being a bad mom , but they do need that structre of mom and dad but if there gettin hurt everytime the go then thats sounds like a bad problem it sounds like parenting class would be a great thing for yaw it give them time with daddy and it give you the since of sercrity that there in a safe place and there not going to get hurt . or a play date that would be in a publice surrounding that monitored that way there no ill words towards either parent and the kids can have both parents and feel like there not responable for mommy and daddy not being together ya know you want to show that there dad is good until they are old enought to know the truth and not point the finger at you later on if ya need to talk email me at renensusan@att.net k im always here love to help ya throught this proccess

Sheryl - posted on 12/22/2009

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well, me personally! i don't think your a bad mom! when your doing it to protect them! which that sound like why you are doing it. does he till you those things in front of them? cause if he is i would just till him, that i love my kids and i would do anything for them! plus, if you feel like they are really not safe then i would not let them see him at all! you could get an emergency restraining order! so that way he can't see them at all. till the court make the final dis. on the case or maybe buy them sometime away from him! if you feel they are not safe around them! hope that help!

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