Am I trying too hard as a SAHM?!?!

Corryne - posted on 05/12/2017 ( 6 moms have responded )

3

0

1

I am the last person I thought would post a conversation on a group, but I am at a loss at the moment and my journal just can't help today..... bare with me!
I have been a SAHM for 2 years now and only have one child (she's 2 1/2 now). I've dealt with and worked out a lot of 'lonely/ bored' feelings that SAHM's feel. But THIS.... I just can't do it alone. My husband is a firefighter and works another full time job outside of that (which is a big reason I ended up staying home; so my daughter would see at least one of her parents more often). So counting on him to help is VERY rare (he works so hard for us). Lately (as in the past 6 months) I have constantly felt like my preschooler is ALWAYS bored. No matter what we do.... and guys, we do EVERYTHING. I will share the stuff we do below, but wanted to get right to my question: AM I TRYING TOO HARD?! When we do almost anything, she almost never acts happy and if she does, its short bursts of happiness. If I start singing, she tells me to stop. If I start dancing, she tells me to stop. If I start playing with a toy (to get her to play), she throws a fit because that's "her toy". I tell her all the time that singing and dancing makes mommy happy. I finally asked her today "Do you not want mommy to be happy?" and she said plain and simple "No". It breaks my heart. Is this all kids and I'm just blowing it up?? She used to love to sing and have dance parties in the living room with me.
She is starting a Mother's Day Out program in the fall so that she can get some 'space' and that's 2 times per week. I know that we need breaks from each other some times, so maybe that's it? We don't have family close by that can baby sit often and she's SOOO extremely opposite of me with people (super shy, even with grandparents/ family). I'm nervous about starting her at MDO but know it is exactly what she and I both need. In the mean time, what the heck do I do to make this kid happy now?! I'm just out of ideas. I constantly play with her when she wants me to but now I can't get her to play with me at all or even go outside unless I drag her out but then it's just a constant fit the entire time so it's not at all fun anymore. Guys, I'm in serious need of help. Every... single... thing is a tantrum. Everything. I've cried all morning long and I hate it because she sees me and says "Mommy, you're sad??".
Here's what we do (and what we do ALL the time!) but she has almost zero interest in any of it anymore:
-Go on adventure walks around the neighborhood and in the big field behind our house
-Play with crafts (playdough, pretend snow, water beads, flour, corn starch, sand, paint, colors, you name it)
-Go to the playgrounds every day (we have a small one in our neighborhood and a big city one near by and a giant one in the city next to us and another by the elementary school down the street.... you name one, we've gone)
-Library story time
-Kindermusik once per week (for a year now and she now hates going so I guess I'll have to take her out of that one)
-The pool just opened so we've been a few times, although the water is freezing, so she's not too interested in that yet)
-Playdates with her neighborhood BFF (she calls the little girl her best friend and I really like her mom so we meet up often)
I'm serious, if you can think it, I've tried it almost. I really think she may have just been overstimulated for so long that she no longer enjoys anything. I've constantly tried to make sure she's happy. I've messed her up, haven't I? :( :( :(

**So sorry this is so long!!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sonyahawkins4812 - posted on 05/15/2017

45

0

0

Hang in there! Children go through different phrases as well as interests. You are great mother and she loves you. Unfortunately, parenting does not come with a manual; however, all you can do is your best. You are doing a fantastic job as far as making sure she’s in different activities, interests, and places. Also, have you asked your daughter what she likes and dislikes? This is a great way to start communication that will hopefully last a lifetime 
Good luck! I wish you all the best.

6 Comments

View replies by

Corryne - posted on 05/15/2017

3

0

1

Thank you for your reply Ev. I suppose I should have clarified that I also do my own thing (but my post was getting so long that I had to weed out anything in regards to 'myself'). I had an Etsy shop for a year but it became so overwhelming trying to do that and tend to my daughter that I had to close it down for a while. I still make items on the side for friends and family. I also take time to myself when my husband is home and he plays with her/ whatever. She has seen me do my own thing but only grows more angry the more I do for myself. I have tried telling her mommy will be done soon and then I will play. I've also tried the work while also answering her as she needs me. The problem has come to her not having interest in near as much anymore (which is why I grew so concerned). Hopefully it is just a phase.
Thank you again for your replies.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms